Isn't it beautiful when break-ups are mature; take away all the name calling, taking back and animosity. Good friendship doesn't have to end just because everything else does, in everything there's a blessing.
Here we are again, but things have changed
Ain't no point in lying, they ain't the same
You've gone your way, and I've gone mine
It was bound to happen over time
All the good times, I won't forget
I'm forever grateful that we met
All the pain and hurt I won't hold against you
I'm grateful for what you put me through
Cause all the pain was a lesson learnt
You don't know the pain o fire til you get burnt
But don't worry, coz I can't hold no hate
It wasn't meant to be, call it fate
I don't think you see what you've done to me
But just give me time to be free
I'll always hold you in my heart
Its for the best that we part
You were my start, and my end
But I've grown up, lets not pretend
- Soul_Full
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
Monday, January 30, 2006
Honesty & Friends??
Wassup people, its BruthaDiva!.....
Firstly, forgive me for the slightly gay blog entry but this thought has been banging the walls of mind for awhile now...
There are very few people I call my friend, but how honest can a person really be with their friend? Is there really TRUE honesty? I’ve heard people say, “A true friend will run into a burning building for you!” “A true friend will tell you how they feel no matter what the circumstances” “A true friend will give you the shirt off their back …” yeah, right …
Let me begin with anyone who reads this post DON'T ask me if I’m talking about you because even if I am … I will deny it! Just know that this is a conversation in my head that I think many people can relate to.
“A true friend will run into a burning building for you!” -- I guess I’m not a true friend then because I do not run into burning building for anyone – if you run into a burning building for someone, you just might get BURNED!!
I mean, lets look at this situation seriously… a friend is in a heap of a mess, usually a heap they got themselves into, however, they listen to no one who attempts to tell them they are messing up, and suddenly they are in the "burning building" I decide, I ain’t running in! Does that not make me a true friend? Even though I have stretched myself across like a bridge and they refused to walk? This does not mean I won’t throw in a fire extinguisher, or call the fire brigade … but running in? I’ve ran into “burning buildings” before and got third degree burns for NOTHING.
“A true friend will tell you how they feel no matter what the circumstances” -- yeah....Do you know how many people I want to tell how I REALLY feel, but if I did they would go off? Even if they constantly say, “It’s important to always say how you feel to your friend.” For example, a friend of mine is in a relationship that I feel in my SOUL is chaotic, unbalanced, unhealthy and destructive. Whenever that person comes around he or she… drains every bit of my lasting spirit as I nearly taste blood, biting my tongue to not say how I feel.
You can’t tell your friends everything! Most people cannot take everything even if you say it in a nice way (you know --it’s not what you say it’s how you say it). When it comes to any of my relationships I can handle my friends telling me how they feel. I’m the type that needs some "insight". Most people are not like this and it saddens me to see people I care about being abused because they don’t want to be alone.
Dont get me wrong, I think most people would agree I am a loyal person. A friendship for me is about a sort of trade off… if I know you when you’re down and out, and you don’t know my name when I’m down and out, then there will be little giving. One might say, “Well that isn’t a true friend.” Not necessarily – I have friends that I love deeply, but I know they cannot have a conversation unless it revolves around them. I have friends that I care for to the bottom of my soul, but they only contact me when they need something. I have respected this is who they are and there is SOMETHING else about them that compensates. For me a friend is about having BOUNDARIES that need to be respected. Sometimes being a true friend is knowing when to shut the f**k up! Knowing when not to run into that building! Knowing when to say NO!
Firstly, forgive me for the slightly gay blog entry but this thought has been banging the walls of mind for awhile now...
There are very few people I call my friend, but how honest can a person really be with their friend? Is there really TRUE honesty? I’ve heard people say, “A true friend will run into a burning building for you!” “A true friend will tell you how they feel no matter what the circumstances” “A true friend will give you the shirt off their back …” yeah, right …
Let me begin with anyone who reads this post DON'T ask me if I’m talking about you because even if I am … I will deny it! Just know that this is a conversation in my head that I think many people can relate to.
“A true friend will run into a burning building for you!” -- I guess I’m not a true friend then because I do not run into burning building for anyone – if you run into a burning building for someone, you just might get BURNED!!
I mean, lets look at this situation seriously… a friend is in a heap of a mess, usually a heap they got themselves into, however, they listen to no one who attempts to tell them they are messing up, and suddenly they are in the "burning building" I decide, I ain’t running in! Does that not make me a true friend? Even though I have stretched myself across like a bridge and they refused to walk? This does not mean I won’t throw in a fire extinguisher, or call the fire brigade … but running in? I’ve ran into “burning buildings” before and got third degree burns for NOTHING.
“A true friend will tell you how they feel no matter what the circumstances” -- yeah....Do you know how many people I want to tell how I REALLY feel, but if I did they would go off? Even if they constantly say, “It’s important to always say how you feel to your friend.” For example, a friend of mine is in a relationship that I feel in my SOUL is chaotic, unbalanced, unhealthy and destructive. Whenever that person comes around he or she… drains every bit of my lasting spirit as I nearly taste blood, biting my tongue to not say how I feel.
You can’t tell your friends everything! Most people cannot take everything even if you say it in a nice way (you know --it’s not what you say it’s how you say it). When it comes to any of my relationships I can handle my friends telling me how they feel. I’m the type that needs some "insight". Most people are not like this and it saddens me to see people I care about being abused because they don’t want to be alone.
Dont get me wrong, I think most people would agree I am a loyal person. A friendship for me is about a sort of trade off… if I know you when you’re down and out, and you don’t know my name when I’m down and out, then there will be little giving. One might say, “Well that isn’t a true friend.” Not necessarily – I have friends that I love deeply, but I know they cannot have a conversation unless it revolves around them. I have friends that I care for to the bottom of my soul, but they only contact me when they need something. I have respected this is who they are and there is SOMETHING else about them that compensates. For me a friend is about having BOUNDARIES that need to be respected. Sometimes being a true friend is knowing when to shut the f**k up! Knowing when not to run into that building! Knowing when to say NO!
Saturday, January 28, 2006
Friday, January 27, 2006
Sprung
Everyone remembers their first time, I'm not even talking about your actual first time, I'm talking about the first time someone made you feel like you were sex appeal.com. Just by the way they talked to you or touched you, they made you feel like you were God's gift to them, making you want to share all of you with them.
As you hold me, I can feel your heat
The power we hold, when we meet
Your warm arms hold me tight
I forget all wrong, coz this feels right
As our lips touch I hold back the lust
Coz to be with you, near you is a must
With our lips together never to part
I feel the beating of my heart
Telling me, this is what we longed for
Holding us together just a little bit more
I hold you tighter as ours lips part
Coz we both know it's only the start
I lay my head down on your chest
In this place I could forever nest
As you hold me tighter, I need more
And I know you feel the same for sure
Your hands trace around my body
I guide you, to let you know I'm ready
- Soul_Full
As you hold me, I can feel your heat
The power we hold, when we meet
Your warm arms hold me tight
I forget all wrong, coz this feels right
As our lips touch I hold back the lust
Coz to be with you, near you is a must
With our lips together never to part
I feel the beating of my heart
Telling me, this is what we longed for
Holding us together just a little bit more
I hold you tighter as ours lips part
Coz we both know it's only the start
I lay my head down on your chest
In this place I could forever nest
As you hold me tighter, I need more
And I know you feel the same for sure
Your hands trace around my body
I guide you, to let you know I'm ready
- Soul_Full
Thursday, January 26, 2006
All because of a new laptop!!
Today i was out looking for a new laptop because my other one is always playing up. So im in PC World and this guy approaches me trying to chat the weakest lyrics i have ever heard.
You know what bothers me...he had used these lines before. I know this because there was an air of confidence in his approach, as if this crap had worked for him before. Now there are some dumbass chicks that will think that nonsense was cute.
He walked by me a couple of times, trying to get a good look at my "goodies". When he did stop this is how the conversation went;
Weak_lyrics: Excuse me miss, whats your name? (singing it just like Pharell Williams!)
SistaLova: erm.....hi (oh my days! give me strength)
Weak_lyrics: What are you doing?
SistaLova: (Stupid question....but he's making small talk, i'll ignore it.) I'm looking for a laptop.
Weak_lyrics: So what are you doing later?
SistaLova: Nothing really. Why do you ask? (playing dumb)
Weak_lyrics: So do you want to come with me?
SistaLova: (Baffled by the question) Excuse me!!
Weak_lyrics: sorry, i have a doctors appointment later and....
SistaLova: ....and you want me to join you??
Weak_lyrics: *laugh* nah....i'm going home before then. You wanna come home with me?
SistaLova: *big laugh* look little man, i dont even know your name!!
Weak_lyrics: It's Michael....so you wanna come with me?
SistaLova: *bigger laugh* NO!!....kmt
Can you believe this punk actually got offended and said "fine then"....WTF!!!! are you serious? go home with you?? do i look like a stray puppy or a hoe....come home with you i should give you a backhand for even asking....please!
But all was not wasted....i did get a good deal on a laptop. *mumbling* come home with you....
- SistaLova
You know what bothers me...he had used these lines before. I know this because there was an air of confidence in his approach, as if this crap had worked for him before. Now there are some dumbass chicks that will think that nonsense was cute.
He walked by me a couple of times, trying to get a good look at my "goodies". When he did stop this is how the conversation went;
Weak_lyrics: Excuse me miss, whats your name? (singing it just like Pharell Williams!)
SistaLova: erm.....hi (oh my days! give me strength)
Weak_lyrics: What are you doing?
SistaLova: (Stupid question....but he's making small talk, i'll ignore it.) I'm looking for a laptop.
Weak_lyrics: So what are you doing later?
SistaLova: Nothing really. Why do you ask? (playing dumb)
Weak_lyrics: So do you want to come with me?
SistaLova: (Baffled by the question) Excuse me!!
Weak_lyrics: sorry, i have a doctors appointment later and....
SistaLova: ....and you want me to join you??
Weak_lyrics: *laugh* nah....i'm going home before then. You wanna come home with me?
SistaLova: *big laugh* look little man, i dont even know your name!!
Weak_lyrics: It's Michael....so you wanna come with me?
SistaLova: *bigger laugh* NO!!....kmt
Can you believe this punk actually got offended and said "fine then"....WTF!!!! are you serious? go home with you?? do i look like a stray puppy or a hoe....come home with you i should give you a backhand for even asking....please!
But all was not wasted....i did get a good deal on a laptop. *mumbling* come home with you....
- SistaLova
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
Chirpsin d man dem
I'm looking to start approaching guys.. .on a serious note. Because i know as soon as I said 'I'm looking to start approaching guys', a few of you were already laughing. I'm just tired of seeing a nice guy walk past me (having made the necessary eye contact with him) and there still be no result. I'm tired! Gabrielle's looking to change the world around and I'm gonna start by influencing others. I can't wait around for opportunity to knock on my door. No, i'm gonna drag opportunity to my door by her hair. Trust!!
Now I've been considering how this new approach could work....'cos to tell you the truth...some of you guys are lacking.. seriously!! All I have to say to you is 'hi' or walk past you and smile...and you guys just get too excited. Too too excited.
Typical conversation. Let me set the scene: -
Ray and Jerome are walking down the road, catching joke as usual...just being the regular guys that they are. Now, imagine me, Gabrielle, a self-proclaimed diva, (looking diva-esque if I say so myself) walking past them. Oh, you know their heads are going to turn! So, anyway back to the scene.
They watch me HARD, and i mean HARD, as if to say I'm wearing their boxers or something. So instead of being rude, 'stush' (if you prefer) like some other girls are, I decide to smile. BIG MISTAKE!!
Ray: Rah Jerome....do you know that girl?
Jerome: Nah! I dont u know.......why??
Ray: I think she's on you bruv.....she's bang on your ends lyk!! Did you not see the way she smiled at you. Nah bruv...that girl's serious. She was OVA watching you. Gotta rate you bruv...you still got the girls going wild.
You see what I'm saying. And there's me just trying to be polite...now if I did like that guy I would make it blatantly obvious...dont get it twisted, a smile can mean anything. It could mean 'hey, im just being friendly', it could mean 'rah i think i should just smile at you to make you feel better about yourself....cos i'd be bugged if I looked like you'.
A smile can mean anything.....but a straight up conversation where a girl's telling you that she likes you....now that's what I'm talking about. But see the suspense lies there, could I be saying that I like you...as a platonic kind of 'like' or could i be saying 'i like you....i want to take things further.'
I guess it all depends on what kind of person you are......
Lemme know what YOU think.
Now I've been considering how this new approach could work....'cos to tell you the truth...some of you guys are lacking.. seriously!! All I have to say to you is 'hi' or walk past you and smile...and you guys just get too excited. Too too excited.
Typical conversation. Let me set the scene: -
Ray and Jerome are walking down the road, catching joke as usual...just being the regular guys that they are. Now, imagine me, Gabrielle, a self-proclaimed diva, (looking diva-esque if I say so myself) walking past them. Oh, you know their heads are going to turn! So, anyway back to the scene.
They watch me HARD, and i mean HARD, as if to say I'm wearing their boxers or something. So instead of being rude, 'stush' (if you prefer) like some other girls are, I decide to smile. BIG MISTAKE!!
Ray: Rah Jerome....do you know that girl?
Jerome: Nah! I dont u know.......why??
Ray: I think she's on you bruv.....she's bang on your ends lyk!! Did you not see the way she smiled at you. Nah bruv...that girl's serious. She was OVA watching you. Gotta rate you bruv...you still got the girls going wild.
You see what I'm saying. And there's me just trying to be polite...now if I did like that guy I would make it blatantly obvious...dont get it twisted, a smile can mean anything. It could mean 'hey, im just being friendly', it could mean 'rah i think i should just smile at you to make you feel better about yourself....cos i'd be bugged if I looked like you'.
A smile can mean anything.....but a straight up conversation where a girl's telling you that she likes you....now that's what I'm talking about. But see the suspense lies there, could I be saying that I like you...as a platonic kind of 'like' or could i be saying 'i like you....i want to take things further.'
I guess it all depends on what kind of person you are......
Lemme know what YOU think.
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
Does Hip Hop hate women??......
I love Hip Hop....
For many reasons, one being because it is one of the few genres of music to be retained by the minorities that created it in the first place. For all its faults and misconceptions it has always been a voice or expression for those who struggled or overcame certain oppressions. Now I don't want to go on about the hardships of having brown skin and having a vagina, because I enjoy both immensely....
But it occurred to me after a discussion with BruthaDiva on certain Hip Hop artists' albums such as Snoop Dogg's "R&G....Rhythm and Gangsta..the Masterpiece" that Hip Hop promotes degrading women with songs like "Can You Control Ya Hoe" and lines like, "Bitches Ain't Shit anyway".
On a certain level I have to laugh, because when music like this is playing at a party guess who's dancing the most......women. Sometimes even singing along to the words!... (even i am guilty of dancing along with those tunes).
Its not just the lyrics but the music videos too, showing girls "shakin dat ass!" It also occurred to me that most girls who agree that hip hop degrades women are just as bad, because you know you watch the videos and try and master the moves...lol
Dont get it twisted, Hip Hop is not all about calling women "bitches" and "hoes" and there are few tracks that i could name that show repect to women. Its just funny that some girls dont mind what a guy calls them.
Anyway...i have a feeling that a few people are gonna have a problem with what i've said today...lol, so leave a comment....peace
- SistaLova
For many reasons, one being because it is one of the few genres of music to be retained by the minorities that created it in the first place. For all its faults and misconceptions it has always been a voice or expression for those who struggled or overcame certain oppressions. Now I don't want to go on about the hardships of having brown skin and having a vagina, because I enjoy both immensely....
But it occurred to me after a discussion with BruthaDiva on certain Hip Hop artists' albums such as Snoop Dogg's "R&G....Rhythm and Gangsta..the Masterpiece" that Hip Hop promotes degrading women with songs like "Can You Control Ya Hoe" and lines like, "Bitches Ain't Shit anyway".
On a certain level I have to laugh, because when music like this is playing at a party guess who's dancing the most......women. Sometimes even singing along to the words!... (even i am guilty of dancing along with those tunes).
Its not just the lyrics but the music videos too, showing girls "shakin dat ass!" It also occurred to me that most girls who agree that hip hop degrades women are just as bad, because you know you watch the videos and try and master the moves...lol
Dont get it twisted, Hip Hop is not all about calling women "bitches" and "hoes" and there are few tracks that i could name that show repect to women. Its just funny that some girls dont mind what a guy calls them.
Anyway...i have a feeling that a few people are gonna have a problem with what i've said today...lol, so leave a comment....peace
- SistaLova
Monday, January 23, 2006
I Miss You
I miss you with a special part of my heart
But my head knows we’re better apart
You’re like the poison of my eye
And either way I feel like I’ll die
A life without you makes me feel alone
But when you’re here I wish you were gone
They say love blossoms like a flower
Then my weed killer has no power
For everyday is a struggle to forget
The happy times linger yet
The pain I can’t seem to remember
Although the fear stays to linger
Afraid, cause I’ll know you’ll hurt me
But I still want you here to hold me
Wise, cause I keep everything inside
My feelings are the start of my own demise
For you my feelings I can’t deny
But my heart I can’t supply
- Soul_Full
But my head knows we’re better apart
You’re like the poison of my eye
And either way I feel like I’ll die
A life without you makes me feel alone
But when you’re here I wish you were gone
They say love blossoms like a flower
Then my weed killer has no power
For everyday is a struggle to forget
The happy times linger yet
The pain I can’t seem to remember
Although the fear stays to linger
Afraid, cause I’ll know you’ll hurt me
But I still want you here to hold me
Wise, cause I keep everything inside
My feelings are the start of my own demise
For you my feelings I can’t deny
But my heart I can’t supply
- Soul_Full
Thursday, January 19, 2006
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
People make me laugh!!
Imagine! Insult upon injury! The latest craze HI 5. So like everybody else I know, I’m hooked. Well, its died down since I left university but you can imagine just how hooked I was on the site. People make me laugh….some ugly, some cute…some shouldn’t even be displaying their pictures at all. One instance I was on the computer in the early hours of the morning and you know that’s the time when your eyes start to slowly close. Despite signs of my body shutting down I continued to look at people’s profiles and I clicked onto this certain person’s picture, and let’s just say I stayed awake for the whole night, for fear of ever having to see that picture again. As soon as I saw that picture, my fingers started fumbling around on the keyboard, praying intensely to get out of that page. WOW!! I prayed for a good 20 minutes asking God to bless me with children that I could look at everyday with both eyes open. You know those ‘you’re so ugly’ jokes….well I don’t think they would be suited to the person that I saw, it should be changed to ‘why, oh why did your mum even bother’. And the sad thing about it is that I can guarantee you that the person was probably quite attractive when they were younger, but the ‘wonders’ of the world got to them. Bare bleach and make-up does not equal beauty ladies!! That’s all I can say about that.
But that’s not even why I’m writing about this, so anyway, I’m looking at new messages that I may have, and I have quite a few, so I’m smiling (smiling because HI 5 has reunited me with many old friends) and I see messages from a few guys that I just cant seem to remember. I automatically read the messages as you do, and I know why I couldn’t remember any of the guys. I couldn’t remember them because they’re all looking to get a green card. Can you imagine? Insult upon injury. And do they all go to the same school of chat up lines, SERIOUSLY? It baffles me, message after message,
‘Hey baby, how u doing? U know I saw ur pic and jus had 2 msg u, cos ur soooo fine. Baby I wanna marry u, I wanna make u mine. U think it wud be possible 4 us to meet up sumtime, I wud really like to get to know u’
Now just imagine the accent. Right! So I’ll stop there before I start to write things that I don’t really mean. The drive behind some people just truly amazes me. Enough said.
- Gabrielle
But that’s not even why I’m writing about this, so anyway, I’m looking at new messages that I may have, and I have quite a few, so I’m smiling (smiling because HI 5 has reunited me with many old friends) and I see messages from a few guys that I just cant seem to remember. I automatically read the messages as you do, and I know why I couldn’t remember any of the guys. I couldn’t remember them because they’re all looking to get a green card. Can you imagine? Insult upon injury. And do they all go to the same school of chat up lines, SERIOUSLY? It baffles me, message after message,
‘Hey baby, how u doing? U know I saw ur pic and jus had 2 msg u, cos ur soooo fine. Baby I wanna marry u, I wanna make u mine. U think it wud be possible 4 us to meet up sumtime, I wud really like to get to know u’
Now just imagine the accent. Right! So I’ll stop there before I start to write things that I don’t really mean. The drive behind some people just truly amazes me. Enough said.
- Gabrielle
Monday, January 16, 2006
A Sucker For Love
Todays blog is discussing a query of mine that i'm hoping you can help a sista out on! So leave your opinion in the comments section.
Right...where do I start....ok, my first... love?? a.k.a the cause of my heart break a.k.a Mr Smalls because if I remember right he was anything but!!
Hmm...even thinking about him still makes me smile...sort of (and before you say it YES SistaLova is a sucker for love, hence the name). Anyway the best way to describe the relationship I had with Mr Small it would be a pleasing kind of sickness if such a thing exists. I mean to say when you've experienced an exciting and eventful moment in your life your sad to see it end but still grateful that it happened. when I first met Mr Small, it was far from a perfect impression.
Now, most girls will not admit this but I will. When I see a guy the first things I look for are physical attraction and a suitable dress sense, not if he has a good personality!! Dont get me wrong that is very important, but you cant see good personality (I mean if I could, I would be able to see that he was a self- righteous and abusive twat!).
*May I just say that looking at a person's appearance and creating a first impression does not make me materialistic...it makes me honest!*
Anyway where was I....right, my first encounter with Mr Small. Its not that he was'nt attractive, he just rubbed me up the wrong way, at first I thought he was joke. I mean he thought soo much of himself, as if he was a gift sent straight from the heavens to bless the opposite sex!....pls!
But somehow he managed to convinced me that this was the case and that I should appreciate his interest in me. I was young and naive at the start of our relationship and I have said before I did'nt truly love or respect myself. Looking back the whole thing was like an episode of Eastenders.....alot of drama!
Now the thing that caused me confusion was that at the beginning and even towards the end him and I would be sooo happy and throughout this I found myself becoming more emotionally dependant on him, which was stupid of me because he never really seemed interested in what emotions I was feeling to begin with! but other times it was as if he was a completely different person.
Those closest to me could see how unhappy I was becoming, but to everyone else I gave this pretense of happiness and "being in love", which I was....at first!
Even when I found out about the other girls... (Yes there were other women), I believed in his lies and felt only he could love me I still stayed with him. This is funny because before him, I used to think girls who stayed with their "wrong" men were stupid and if they were willing to accept such behaviour they deserved it.....then here I was doing the same thing!
After that experience it would be easy to say I hated him and all men. But I refused to allow it to stop any possible "true" love from entering my life and it also taught me alot about myself.
I may of mentioned this before, but recently I bumped into Mr Small and said a few words...he apoligised for his previous lack of respect for me and claimed he "always loved me". Now, I am passed the point of ever wanting a relationship with him again.... but my question is
Can a person ever really change?
-SistaLova
Right...where do I start....ok, my first... love?? a.k.a the cause of my heart break a.k.a Mr Smalls because if I remember right he was anything but!!
Hmm...even thinking about him still makes me smile...sort of (and before you say it YES SistaLova is a sucker for love, hence the name). Anyway the best way to describe the relationship I had with Mr Small it would be a pleasing kind of sickness if such a thing exists. I mean to say when you've experienced an exciting and eventful moment in your life your sad to see it end but still grateful that it happened. when I first met Mr Small, it was far from a perfect impression.
Now, most girls will not admit this but I will. When I see a guy the first things I look for are physical attraction and a suitable dress sense, not if he has a good personality!! Dont get me wrong that is very important, but you cant see good personality (I mean if I could, I would be able to see that he was a self- righteous and abusive twat!).
*May I just say that looking at a person's appearance and creating a first impression does not make me materialistic...it makes me honest!*
Anyway where was I....right, my first encounter with Mr Small. Its not that he was'nt attractive, he just rubbed me up the wrong way, at first I thought he was joke. I mean he thought soo much of himself, as if he was a gift sent straight from the heavens to bless the opposite sex!....pls!
But somehow he managed to convinced me that this was the case and that I should appreciate his interest in me. I was young and naive at the start of our relationship and I have said before I did'nt truly love or respect myself. Looking back the whole thing was like an episode of Eastenders.....alot of drama!
Now the thing that caused me confusion was that at the beginning and even towards the end him and I would be sooo happy and throughout this I found myself becoming more emotionally dependant on him, which was stupid of me because he never really seemed interested in what emotions I was feeling to begin with! but other times it was as if he was a completely different person.
Those closest to me could see how unhappy I was becoming, but to everyone else I gave this pretense of happiness and "being in love", which I was....at first!
Even when I found out about the other girls... (Yes there were other women), I believed in his lies and felt only he could love me I still stayed with him. This is funny because before him, I used to think girls who stayed with their "wrong" men were stupid and if they were willing to accept such behaviour they deserved it.....then here I was doing the same thing!
After that experience it would be easy to say I hated him and all men. But I refused to allow it to stop any possible "true" love from entering my life and it also taught me alot about myself.
I may of mentioned this before, but recently I bumped into Mr Small and said a few words...he apoligised for his previous lack of respect for me and claimed he "always loved me". Now, I am passed the point of ever wanting a relationship with him again.... but my question is
Can a person ever really change?
-SistaLova
Thursday, January 12, 2006
Reminisce...
Have you ever reminisced on all the guys that you used to like back in your young days. Ever wondered what could’ve happened between you and that cute guy/girl that lived on your road, or ever wondered whether you and that good looking guy would’ve still been together if it hadn’t been that he cheated on you with your best friend. OK….. That’s a Jerry Springer moment right there…..but you get my drift. I just couldn’t help myself thinking about all the guys that I liked in my past………and the funny thing is that I remember all their names. Every single one………even if I only liked them for a week. Going in order from my 1st crush to now, I could probably go through the alphabet and name at least one guy that I’ve liked.
But have you ever thought about those people and wondered what kind of relationship you could’ve had with that person. There are some days I wish I bumped into them and could just see how they had turned out……….I do see some of them now actually and can only laugh on how easily I could fall in ‘like’ with someone. Lol. I’m laughing now because during my last year at college I became a serial ‘liker’, I think I must’ve liked nearly every guy in my year at least once, and not only them but guys at church, guys that I knew from my past, guys that lived in my area, a real random selection. My love life has been very amusing, amusing because there hasn’t been any love in those equations at all. No love whatsoever. And as much as I would like to have experienced love in my past, I haven’t, and as much as I would like to be ‘in love’ now, I have to be very truthful with myself, I’m just not ready.
As pathetic an excuse that may seem to you…..I feel that at this moment ‘I’m just not ready’ is the best way to describe how I feel about relationships. I’m just not ready. Basically, words can’t explain how I feel exactly but all I know is that when I’m ready to be in a relationship I will know. I’ve taken too many chances, too many stabs in the dark at trying to find out whether I can commit or not. Frankly, right now I can’t commit. Simply because I feel that commitment from me is too much to ask.
Commitment means responsibility – something that takes up time or energy, especially an obligation. And it can also mean devotion or dedication, for example to a cause, person or relationship. I just don’t think I can owe a person a certain amount of responsibility right now, I just can’t. I want to one day, don’t ever get it twisted. Being able to have someone else that relies on you, like you’re their own self, their own body, that’s something special. And I feel that in my future I’ll be able to do that, but as for now. Cant do it, sorry.
- Gabrielle
But have you ever thought about those people and wondered what kind of relationship you could’ve had with that person. There are some days I wish I bumped into them and could just see how they had turned out……….I do see some of them now actually and can only laugh on how easily I could fall in ‘like’ with someone. Lol. I’m laughing now because during my last year at college I became a serial ‘liker’, I think I must’ve liked nearly every guy in my year at least once, and not only them but guys at church, guys that I knew from my past, guys that lived in my area, a real random selection. My love life has been very amusing, amusing because there hasn’t been any love in those equations at all. No love whatsoever. And as much as I would like to have experienced love in my past, I haven’t, and as much as I would like to be ‘in love’ now, I have to be very truthful with myself, I’m just not ready.
As pathetic an excuse that may seem to you…..I feel that at this moment ‘I’m just not ready’ is the best way to describe how I feel about relationships. I’m just not ready. Basically, words can’t explain how I feel exactly but all I know is that when I’m ready to be in a relationship I will know. I’ve taken too many chances, too many stabs in the dark at trying to find out whether I can commit or not. Frankly, right now I can’t commit. Simply because I feel that commitment from me is too much to ask.
Commitment means responsibility – something that takes up time or energy, especially an obligation. And it can also mean devotion or dedication, for example to a cause, person or relationship. I just don’t think I can owe a person a certain amount of responsibility right now, I just can’t. I want to one day, don’t ever get it twisted. Being able to have someone else that relies on you, like you’re their own self, their own body, that’s something special. And I feel that in my future I’ll be able to do that, but as for now. Cant do it, sorry.
- Gabrielle
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
Introducing BruthaDiva?
Yeah! you read it right, it wasnt your eyez decieving you.. I am da BruthaDiva, I got tired of reading all da oestrogen intensifyed, unbalanced and biased reports on us bruthas. So I got da hook up from my AfroDivas to write (as best I can) an honest, inciteful expression of the male mind...lol pls. Me inciteful! anywayz I was trying to think of a topic dat would interest da masses. Then I realised I dont care if u like what I say because i'm gonna say it anyway!
Right about now you probably think i'm a cocky, arrogant and sexist guy. Well....your right! and I make no excuses for that. This blog is all about telling da truth right?
Ok...Why do black girls have sooo much attitude? (do u like da way i dropped dat, yeah me too!) Now before all da girls reading this go crazy, and start cursing at their computer monitors I dont mean all black girls I just mean most...lol
No seriously...I love women especially black women, I was raised by one. I love their inner strength and heavenly bodies! But sometimes you sista's are too much!
...let me use an example; I was at a party not too long ago. Looking "fresh to def!" as always and da music was great. Everyone seemed to be having a good time. Across da dancefloor i see a very attractive lady. So I proceeded to approach her, putting my swagger on. Then I politely asked her for a dance. (Noticed I asked her and did'nt grab her from behind like some other brutha's do!) she looked me up and down as if I was suspected terrorist! kmt....then she said "no, not right now" but from da tone of her voice, what she really meant was "no, and don't look to dance with me later".
Someone explain to me how this could happen!! I mean i'm a good looking guy, confident, have a job and I treat ladies with respect (I had to highlight ladies, cos' some ain't!).
What does a good brutha have to do for you??
Right about now you probably think i'm a cocky, arrogant and sexist guy. Well....your right! and I make no excuses for that. This blog is all about telling da truth right?
Ok...Why do black girls have sooo much attitude? (do u like da way i dropped dat, yeah me too!) Now before all da girls reading this go crazy, and start cursing at their computer monitors I dont mean all black girls I just mean most...lol
No seriously...I love women especially black women, I was raised by one. I love their inner strength and heavenly bodies! But sometimes you sista's are too much!
...let me use an example; I was at a party not too long ago. Looking "fresh to def!" as always and da music was great. Everyone seemed to be having a good time. Across da dancefloor i see a very attractive lady. So I proceeded to approach her, putting my swagger on. Then I politely asked her for a dance. (Noticed I asked her and did'nt grab her from behind like some other brutha's do!) she looked me up and down as if I was suspected terrorist! kmt....then she said "no, not right now" but from da tone of her voice, what she really meant was "no, and don't look to dance with me later".
Someone explain to me how this could happen!! I mean i'm a good looking guy, confident, have a job and I treat ladies with respect (I had to highlight ladies, cos' some ain't!).
What does a good brutha have to do for you??
Tuesday, January 10, 2006
All right guys! click this to read another member of da afro divas x-Soulsista-x she has very "interesting" diary entry.
Leave your thoughts in the comments section.
Leave your thoughts in the comments section.
Monday, January 09, 2006
This is MY TIME!!
A day in the life of this afro diva. Hi! My name’s Gabrielle, a self proclaimed diva! Yes, you saw it right, I said diva. Urgh... here we go, another feminist!! And what’s wrong with me calling myself that (calling myself a diva I mean). It’s about time I think. I’m fed up of being the nice girl….so similar to the other divas in this log…. I’m outspoken, I’ll say what’s on my mind, exactly when it’s on my mind. And don’t assume that I’m just bitter….because really I’m not. No really. I’m not bitter neither am I shallow but let me give you a little background on ME.
Life really started with me being quite naive….trusted everybody, loved everybody, tried to please everybody and lived my life for everybody…..that doesn’t sound right, does it? Well…. that’s because it wasn’t, and that’s how I lived my life. You can only imagine the emotions I felt inside….I felt like I was being fake and I felt like people around me were liking someone else and not really liking me. So, as soon as I finished secondary school, the mask came off. I became the realest Gabrielle anyone could ever know. Now, I tell you how it is whether you like it or not. Simple! So if you have a dilemma, or a little situation, don’t let your worries get the best of you…no, no, no. Just let me know your dilemma and I’m sure I’ll make you see sense.
So as I continue to talk about my life….you should get to know me and my short comings, I am in no way perfect. I’m not bitter as I said before…but be warned….there are times when I cant control what comes out of this mouth. My apologies in advance.
So…….. i know its a bit late but i just thought you guys needed a little taster into what i spend my time thinking about......and this is how i was feeling during Christmas. It was the 19th December….five whole days before Christmas, and boi did i have a lot to say!!! Enjoy!
Its Christmas!! And who gives two hoots. Not me. No, for real! I couldn’t care less if it was Easter, Valentines Day, or whatever other holiday there is. Here we go……I hear you say. But not really, see this is how I see Christmas….year after year of the same routine….the number of presents you receive starts to decrease, half the time you’re asleep on that day anyway….and it just starts to get boring. Well, that might just apply to me…..it just seems so overrated…I mean whose birthday are we celebrating….yeah exactly…some people don’t even know. So I just see it as an excuse for a holiday for some people, a time when the world can rest and we have an excuse not to work, I mean those who don’t even believe in Jesus participate. Lol. I can be so cold sometimes.
So today I watched KING KONG…. Yes I know, I know. I had so many stereotypes about that film….I mean KING KONG….a film about a giant ape. Oh great! How much fun!!! But I was pressured into going….so I took my younger brother along to watch this film and lets just say…..I have not watched a film showcase love in that way. Can you imagine loving someone….loving someone so much that you wouldn’t think twice about dying for them. Well that’s what this ape did for a woman; it did this for a woman that it couldn’t even communicate with. I just saw so much love in that film….and when I left so many things were brimming in my head. Yes King Kong is fiction, I know, but I haven’t seen love displayed like that before…and I thought how beautiful it would be if a guy displayed that sort of love for his girl. But some of you are thinking…some guys do show their girls bare love. Ok. I know that…..but why does it take an arm, a leg and a threat to damage a guy’s manhood, for a girl to find out exactly how much a guy cares for her. That’s not right, is it? No. Not at all. And the next few days are going to detail my quest into why guys don’t let a girl know how they feel….well before its too late anyway. So I suggest you keep that in mind….guys if you have an answer to that, leave me a comment…addressed to Gabrielle. Same goes for the ladies reading this….if you know the answer to that question leave me a comment too.
Let's see how both sexes feel about each other's display of affection.
Gabrielle
Life really started with me being quite naive….trusted everybody, loved everybody, tried to please everybody and lived my life for everybody…..that doesn’t sound right, does it? Well…. that’s because it wasn’t, and that’s how I lived my life. You can only imagine the emotions I felt inside….I felt like I was being fake and I felt like people around me were liking someone else and not really liking me. So, as soon as I finished secondary school, the mask came off. I became the realest Gabrielle anyone could ever know. Now, I tell you how it is whether you like it or not. Simple! So if you have a dilemma, or a little situation, don’t let your worries get the best of you…no, no, no. Just let me know your dilemma and I’m sure I’ll make you see sense.
So as I continue to talk about my life….you should get to know me and my short comings, I am in no way perfect. I’m not bitter as I said before…but be warned….there are times when I cant control what comes out of this mouth. My apologies in advance.
So…….. i know its a bit late but i just thought you guys needed a little taster into what i spend my time thinking about......and this is how i was feeling during Christmas. It was the 19th December….five whole days before Christmas, and boi did i have a lot to say!!! Enjoy!
Its Christmas!! And who gives two hoots. Not me. No, for real! I couldn’t care less if it was Easter, Valentines Day, or whatever other holiday there is. Here we go……I hear you say. But not really, see this is how I see Christmas….year after year of the same routine….the number of presents you receive starts to decrease, half the time you’re asleep on that day anyway….and it just starts to get boring. Well, that might just apply to me…..it just seems so overrated…I mean whose birthday are we celebrating….yeah exactly…some people don’t even know. So I just see it as an excuse for a holiday for some people, a time when the world can rest and we have an excuse not to work, I mean those who don’t even believe in Jesus participate. Lol. I can be so cold sometimes.
So today I watched KING KONG…. Yes I know, I know. I had so many stereotypes about that film….I mean KING KONG….a film about a giant ape. Oh great! How much fun!!! But I was pressured into going….so I took my younger brother along to watch this film and lets just say…..I have not watched a film showcase love in that way. Can you imagine loving someone….loving someone so much that you wouldn’t think twice about dying for them. Well that’s what this ape did for a woman; it did this for a woman that it couldn’t even communicate with. I just saw so much love in that film….and when I left so many things were brimming in my head. Yes King Kong is fiction, I know, but I haven’t seen love displayed like that before…and I thought how beautiful it would be if a guy displayed that sort of love for his girl. But some of you are thinking…some guys do show their girls bare love. Ok. I know that…..but why does it take an arm, a leg and a threat to damage a guy’s manhood, for a girl to find out exactly how much a guy cares for her. That’s not right, is it? No. Not at all. And the next few days are going to detail my quest into why guys don’t let a girl know how they feel….well before its too late anyway. So I suggest you keep that in mind….guys if you have an answer to that, leave me a comment…addressed to Gabrielle. Same goes for the ladies reading this….if you know the answer to that question leave me a comment too.
Let's see how both sexes feel about each other's display of affection.
Gabrielle
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