Chirpsin d man dem (pt 2)

Ok... so I said I'm gonna start chirpsin d man dem and since then I haven't come across a guy that is worthy of me 'chirpsin'. Lol. Yeah that was up until I went to a little get 2 gether and there he was. The epitome of FINE. Oh my days!! He was beautiful man, the whole image. But see this chirpsin thing only works when you first see the person init, not if you've met them a couple of times.

I mean I know this guy but it's only recently that I noticed how nice he is. In other words my eyes opened WELL WELL! But see I just talk to him as a friend not a best friend, just someone I'm cool with. But to him I'm probably a young girl, he probably doesn't even 'see' me like that, that's why I want him to notice me. I mean I think we would actually be good together. So how do I go about it, how do I get him to notice me... cos that's what I want basically. I want him to like me. Is that a bad thing?

If he doesn't like me I'll move on. I know that for sure. It's not hard for me to like someone else(even my friends can tell you.... one of my good friends (her name Bushrat..lol..lol) calls me a 'crush hoe'), I can just 'like' one guy one day and watch another guy the next. But thats another story for another day.

Back to this 'beautiful' guy, what if he does like me... ah I can't stop thinking about him... I need to see him again. I wonder if this is how guys feel when they see 'the one' or a girl that they think is BUFF. I try to get him out of my mind but I can't, it kinda sucks 'cos I promised myself that I wouldn't focus on guys. But oh my days.......wot to do?? Someone help me 'cos the next time I see him I don't want to act a fool, I don't want to make it obvious to him that I like him but I reall want him to like me...

What do I do??

- Gabrielle

Sperm Bandits!!

I knew that heading would grab your attention...Honestly you lot are so predictable!! Any mention of sex and your eyes pop out of their sockets...lol
Well bad news peeps. Because this isnt about mine or anyone else's "Love Below"....well not entirely anyway...lol

If a woman gets pregnant by a man without his prior consent, is she secretly stealing his seed??

This thought came to me after reading an article about a guy suing a chick in New Mexico for stealing his sperm. He claims that she promised to take the pill, but stopped in order to have a baby.... making him a father without his knowledge or consent. The woman argued that she could not have "stolen" his sperm because because he "surrended any right of possesion...when he transferred it...during voluntary sexual intercourse". Now i dont know about you but i had to laugh when reading that particuilar line! she also said that "It should be considered a gift". I cant speak for all the women out there, but if a dude was to give you his sperm as a "gift" im not sure you would be happy about it...lol

We (men) can never be sure. There are all sorts of freaks around. If your a man, you have to deal with the possibility that you have released millions of "lil' Friends" into the wilderness. For all you know you could have fathered hundreds of kids...( i think the record no. of kids for a man was 888 by a old emperor of morocco)...that you know nothing about.

Whenever i try and discuss this topic with the opposite sex i always get the same reaction..."Excuse me, punk!....blaming mums for not using birth control....ever heard of a condom??"(you know while saying dat they were clicking their fingers or moving their neck so much it looked painful....lol)
Lets face it to some women, men are a walking gene pool, and its a general rule that a woman goes for the most sought after sperm she can lay her hands on. Its the right combination of brains, health and stamina...all of which i have! Once identified as the "best available", some women will zoom in like missile launcher!! I mean these women dont have a problem enticing us guys to give it up, all they have to do is wear lil' make up, get there hair done and wear the.... right clothes...
And if a woman can't get the "best", then she'll settle for second best, third best....A hard core woman will go even further. SPERM BANDITS

- BruthaDiva

Different opinions

Is it too much to ask to want to be successful, is it too much to ask to want to be independent, too much to want to live comfortably? I’m asking these questions because I feel like my independence poses a problem to the opposite sex. I mean at first, the guys I talk to seem to want that sort of girl but the more I talk to them the more they seem completely different to what I want in a guy. I mean at first its all gravy and then later on they’re talking about ‘the wife being in the kitchen’. OK. What’s wrong with you being in the kitchen? Don’t get me wrong, I will be a dutiful wife and I will look after my husband and our home but there is a limit to all of that. I mean what’s the point of me devoting my life to someone who won’t respect me enough to realise that not everything can be done solely by me. I think back to a conversation I had with one of my friends and he said that he will never step foot in the kitchen, like NEVER. I couldn’t understand how he could make a statement like that so I asked him to elaborate,

‘Basically, I don’t like cooking, don’t like being in the kitchen. I feel imprisoned anytime I go in there, so basically that would be my wife’s territory. Whatever I want, she makes.’

I’ve been told that I am quite shallow concerning some aspects of life but excuse me, what rubbish is that? So even if I was sick, this guy wouldn’t enter the kitchen. That is so wrong. And just hearing him talk about what his wife should do and what she should be about, well, frankly, it upset me. Something in me boiled up. I can’t do it. I can’t do that. I’ll love my husband unconditionally but I don’t know whether I could love a guy with such a character. It would be really hard, I do admit that. And then I was thinking about the flipside.

As much as that guy was chattin so much rubbish, have I ever been guilty of that. Umm... i think I have, not intentionally though. I mean you readers probably know me a bit by now... I seem shallow, not quite though, just a little. There have been a few things I have said in the past that could make a guy perceive ladies to be 'gold-diggers, shallow, egotistical, harsh.' But I mean come on what's the point in me being with a guy that I feel is doing worse than me in life. Not that I'm judging his way of life or anything... but reflecting to what I said before... I'm going to be a dutiful and submissive wife, but how can I do that if i don't even respect the guy. It's like if I'm the CEO of a business firm and my husband's the cleaner. It just doesn't work does it. And yes I know people say LOVE overcomes all of that but that sort of situation could present a lot of problems, don't you think??

Things like this are so confusing that's why I've decided to hang up my shoes of reasoning... I just can't be bothered any more. Next post ... I'm gonna be strait up... apologies in advance.

- Gabrielle

Say a lil' prayer

I want to ask my afro divas and other readers of this blog to say a small prayer to end all da madness dats been going on in da world, because i'm afraid my friend is gonna loose her mind!!

Truth is shes not really a friend but a collegue from work, every time she reads or hears a story about anthrax, mad cow disease or bird flu da girl goes into a panic and tries to track down whateva cure she thinks is available. She's so afraid of bird flu she nearly falls to the ground in da fetal position wheneva she sees a pigeon!!...lol

I should'nt even laugh, cos its serious....she keeps on advising everyone to wear gloves when opening their mail and drink soy milk because she's afraid of catching mad cow's disease from drinking cow's milk...kmt
I think all dis nonsense came from her trip to America...(u kno dey all crazy).

So remeba peps to say a lil' prayer!

- SistaLova

Not so Diva-esque!

Have you ever noticed when your phone stops ringing? Like I hope I’m not the only one but no one seems to call me anymore. And at first it didn’t bother me, but it’s like now I just sit at home doing nothing… and even through that I don’t get any calls. All I can think about is the amount of fun my friends are having, I don’t even like calling people at these times because it will add insult to my injury. Hearing your friend having fun with their friends. Nah… I’m not going to call. What’s happening to me? Gabrielle’s getting soft… I used to be tough, I used to be admired, my phone was always ringing, and I was always talking to someone. What’s happened? Have I crawled down my society circle? I hope not! I brought together my circle of friends… this can’t be happening. Just imagine if I was to call one of them, and they all happened to be together. Aargh…right now my life doesn’t seem so great. I haven’t even got any work to occupy myself with. Back in London and I feel like an absolute loser. This is not how I pictured it. I didn’t think I’d ever say this but I can’t wait to go back to uni. I’m being serious. And my uni. isn’t even the livest one… it’s actually quite boring when you eradicate the ‘raving, drinking,’ (not that I do that) but that’s all there is. And to me that is BORING!! How many raves can you go to in one week? Ok, ok, yes I know you can reach loads…but that’s really not me. But enough about that… what am I going to do about this ‘no calls’ thing. I mean I even check my phones (notice I said phones, no one calls me on either) to see whether there’s reception… now that’s sinking to an all time low don’t you think? Maybe this is the time when I’m supposed to focus on work and stuff but how can I do that? All my work is in… I finished everything. Oh my gosh!! I think I’ve fallen down my social circle.

Not so diva-esque as I thought huh.

- Gabrielle

Dont hate me, If ur girl wants me!!

In-se-cure (adjective) 1. Not secure or safe; 2. Not assured of safety; liable to suffer loss or harm
In-se-cu-ri-ty (noun) 1. The condition of being unsafe; liability to injury, loss or failure; uncertainty; instability

(I have wanted to talk about this particular subject for a very long time, but never really had a reason to bring it up until this morning. Since opportunity finally presented itself, I'm going to knock down there door. I want to talk about men, who are insecure in their relationships.)

A few weeks ago I got a call from a friend of mine that I haven't seen in over a year. She was calling to tell me that she was coming back down to London and was hoping we could get together for dinner one night while she was here. I told her that that was cool. For whatever reason, we never did hook up. What was even more strange, she didn't even call me to tell me what had happened. That was until this morning. She left me a V.msg and apologized for not meeting me. She said that her boyfriend ended up coming down too and he didn't want her to see me. She also went on to say that her boyfriend thought that we were too close and he didn't feel comfortable with our friendship. He isn't the first man that has unnecessarily felt uncomfortable with the relationship that I have with their girlfriend.

Unfortunately, none of these guy have anything to worry about. In most cases, I was there before they got into the picture and should be seen as a non-factor. For those cases where I met a woman who was already in a relationship, I would respect the guy and the relationship . . . at least as long as the woman did!

The way I see it, if you feel threatened by a third party, then maybe you need to check yourself. If you think for one second that the woman you're with is looking at someone else, then maybe, just maybe, you should see if there's something you aren't giving her... before you think the worst.

Have you ever been in a situation where you, or the person you were with, felt threatened by a third party? If so, how did you handle it? Were you ever in a situation in which you were forced to cut a friend out of your life for the sake of a relationship? If you've ever dated someone who was insecure, was it possible to reassure them that there was nothing to worry about, or did their insecurity ruin your relationship?

- BruthaDiva

Segregation

Segregation. What makes us segregate? Sitting in one of my seminars today actually made me think about that. As I looked around my seminar group I realised that even though we might not know it, we are segregated. Each row was separated into race, can you believe that? I mean I’m a strong believer of inter-racial relationships and I’m not talking about boyfriend-girlfriend relationships, I’m talking about plain friendships.

The 1st row was all Caucasians, the 2nd row was all Asians and the 3rd row were all black people. That disturbed me because I wondered what the subliminal message was behind the separation. I mean I genuinely like the people in my class so I don’t understand why our class wasn’t mixed up. I mean I don’t think we all sat in those places on purpose, but the fact is that we did sit there.

There are some things we do that we’re not aware of and segregation is one example. Usually my seminar group is mixed so that wasn’t my biggest worry. My worry was in my lectures; I haven’t seen segregation like this ever. My primary school was totally mixed, same goes for my secondary school, college was unbalanced but compared to other people I know, my classes were probably the only example of non-segregation. (Even though I think it’s due to the subjects I studied, I mean who takes French as an A2 Level). So basically through my life I haven’t seen segregation as I’ve seen it in uni. And what baffles me is what brings it on? I mean do people suddenly decide that when they go to uni they’re only going to talk to people who are exactly like them, by that I mean same colour, same origin, same background. Is that what my society has boiled down to? It saddens me but what can I do, I’m not the first to experience it and I doubt that I’ll be the last.

What happened to Martin Luther King’s speech, was it all said in vain? He wanted us to be able to walk side by side and no longer be segregated. But despite his efforts we still are. It might not be as extreme as it was back then, but the main fact is that we are separated. And that’s the problem. I can only imagine how it’s going to be for my children. You think its going to be worse? I hope not. I want my child to grow up with no inhibitions and no acquired stereotype of other cultures but in saying that I think that that might be inevitable. As the days go by and the years roll on, our society’s becoming more and more divided. And it’s that division that scares me.

- Gabrielle

Leave me alone!

Persistence is not the answer, you phoning me on a regular basis to remind me how much you love, miss and need me is not going to change my mind. Don’t get me wrong fellas, us women do appreciate some dedication but no is no. I recently broke up with an ex; someone who inspired my pen many a time, when it was good it was good but when it was bad it was real bad. I was his fool but not to worry because I soon woke up and saw everything for what it was, actually let me not sugar coat it and save face; I found out he was cheating and I was the other woman which is what spurred my wake up call. How I stayed blind for so long is another post altogether. But during our relationship I gave my all sometimes I received a decent enough morsel in return but most times I made do. In all honesty I don’t hold a grudge but my problem now is that I woke up but so did he and now he cant live with what his now missing out on. The phrases ‘You don’t know what you got till it’s gone’ is too real to be true! I have to ask myself why guys take their girls for granted then get pissed when their gone. You constantly telling me how sorry and wrong you are is not going to make me change my mind; I know you were wrong which is why I left and I know you’re sorry because I’m priceless and you don’t have me anymore. So to all the bugaboo ex’s out there persistent is not the key leave us alone! I know somewhere out there someone can relate.

Soul_Full

The Fabulous Life of Mama Drama

Yes! Welcome to the world of Mama Drama! You’re probably thinking ‘why does she call herself Mama Drama?’ Well ask anyone who knows me what one word can be used to describe me in a nutshell, they will most probably say drama…and I cannot even deny it one bit. My life (love life) is so dramatic, im telling you…if they made my love life into a motion picture I could win a few Oscars!

Ok to cut the long story short…over the last couple of months I have been on a quest to find myself the perfect man. But either they are good looking and crazy or they’re ugly and…well that’s it. So a couple of weeks ago I decided that I’d had enough of looking and I was gonna let my perfect man find me. Yeah right!!

So here was this guy Duane, who I used to talk to a couple of years ago but due to unforeseen circumstances we lost contact with each other. Fortunately, thanks to a helpful source, we found each other again. To tell you the truth I was so happy because in my heart I was thinking that it was too much of a coincidence that after all these years we would meet again. I really thought he was one of those guys who you talk to for a couple of weeks but after a few years you drift apart and you never see again. So just imagine how I felt when this guy wants to talk to me again. But was I in for a ride!!!

Ok so here I was talking to Duane who said all the right things to me and he was just the kind of guy that I’ve been dreaming about. He called me quite often, he texted me to see how I was and to let me know that he was thinking of me. He was so special!! But I suppose he got too excited. Now don’t get me wrong I no that when you meet someone new you want to make an effort but DAAAAMMMNN!!! How much of an effort do want to make.

Ok let me break it to you. We started to talk on a Tuesday and by the Thursday we were in a relationship (my mistake). He was calling me every 1-2 hours to see how I was. Take note…I tried to emphasise to him that I had 3 assignments to hand in and I needed space to do my work but no he continued to ring me… it got to the point where I had to turn off my phone for a couple of days. I was getting so stressed out. Then he wanted to come and see me…at first I was like ok but I really had a lot of work to do so I told him that it wouldn’t be ideal for me. A normal guy would be like “ok I’ll come and see you when you’re less busy, coz I want you to concentrate on your work.” In Duane’s world he says to me “ aww babes don’t worry when I come down I won’t bother you I’ll just bring the work I have to do…I can even help you with your work.” Take note im doing a degree in medicine and he’s doing a degree in music. So somebody please tell me what these two subjects have in common!!? Now he started to do the whole guilt trip thing. So he says to me “babes I just wanna see you, but I understand that you have so much work to do and I don’t want you to fail, I only want the best for you, you know I love you.”

Hold up a sec!! How can he say he loves me? We weren’t even together for a week, we haven’t even seen each other face to face . So how could he possibly love me?? He was infatuated not in love. Why do so many people get these feelings mixed up?

Mama Drama

A Msg RE: Da Lovas and Non-Lovas....

To all those happy and in love have a great day, if u aint found in love or found da "one" .....stil have a great day!!!

....much love and peace from da AfroDivas

Happy Valentines!!

What would you do??

Hey people its SistaLova, today's post is a bit different from my normal entries.....

What would you do if u caught your man/girl with someone else?...what would you do if you were the one that got caught??

This thought came to me after a incident that occured on radio, a friend sent me this a while back and i just had to give you lot a listen. Let me give you the background knowledge.....

A lady submitted her name and number to a daytime radio station in order to have them work with her to pull a holiday prank on her husband. The couple had been having issues, and she thought that a cute prank would add some much needed laughter to the relationship.

The radio station contacted her at work to let her know she had been chosen, and they immediately called her husband at home on air to pull the prank…the thing that really got me was his reaction
Take a listen…

Pranks do go wrong

The truth is i have no clue as to how i would act, words cannot even express the sheer embarrasment of it all...imagine all the friends and family that may have been listening. I really did feel for the girl but at the same time i couldnt help letting out a little snigger...(you know you did too!)

Remember to leave your reactions inside the comments box....peace

- SistaLova

Will You Marry Me?

“Will you marry me?” those words echo through my ear…is it me or is it getting hotter? I really want to answer him, but the words aren’t coming out, I’m really trying to say ‘yes’, but the more I try the more it gets harder to even utter a word. He’s been waiting for so long.... and before I know it... he’s gone. Got up and walked out on me. I guess he was tired of waiting.

And that’s when I wake up. That dream has been the same for the past week and frankly I’m starting to get scared. I really don’t understand why I’m having this dream now. I’m not seeing anybody…I’m VERY single! But as all those questions trouble me, one question that remains unanswered is why I can’t say ‘yes’.

The dream is unclear in the sense that I can’t see who the guy is but the feeling is that he’s my perfect guy. So all negatives aside, why can’t I accept his proposal. Why does it take me so long to comprehend what’s going on? Why do I feel so threatened by this dream?

I’m threatened because I just realised that my actions have repercussions. You ever heard, ‘what goes around comes around’, yeah well I believe that and in so much as I don’t think I’ve purposefully set out to break hearts, I think I’ve trampled on a few. Do you think it’ll come back to me in that way? I mean picture me… Gabrielle, finally finding someone I truly love, someone that I’ll give my heart to gladly, only to have MY HEART broken in the same way as I had done to others. That would be a worst case scenario wouldn’t it? But I’ve seen it happen. And love is not a respecter of person, so whether I like it or not, that ‘love bug’ is going to bite. What I am waiting for though is whether it bites me back... hard.

All those questions and no answers… I still don’t understand why I don’t say ‘yes’ in that dream, I mean I love all that sugary stuff… despite my harsh perception on ‘love’, I can’t wait to have my own happy ending. I’ve watched Best Man, Brown Sugar, Love and Basketball, Friday…ok maybe not Friday but you get my drift. I’ve fallen in love with ‘happy endings’ but it didn’t seem like that in the dream. I hesitated for so long you would’ve thought I had amnesia or something. The guy in my dream was waiting for what seemed like ‘years’ for my answer. And I was yet to give it to him before he walked off. What does that mean? Does it mean I’m afraid of commitment, does it mean that I’ll let the greatest thing that could ever happen to me just walk off, like the guy in my dream? What does it mean?

I’m trying to understand, I’m really trying to make my dream make sense and to no avail. The only thing I got from all this thinking was a headache…a really bad one at that which reminds me I think I need to get my glasses now…two years without wearing them isn’t good. No one wants to be wearing thick, like super thick lenses at the age of twenty; I am too cute for that.

- Gabrielle

There with me

As I look back over my life
As I look back at all my trials
I take a step back and realise
That as low as I've been
All the pain I've seen
Been part of the wrong scene
Now I know
As low as I may go
Some how God's love will show
Although I've been through the storm
And I've felt all alone
Now the pains gone
I can sassn wasn't by myself
All along there was someone else
Holding my hand through it all
God was there through it all

Life is a journey full of ups and downs, everyone's journey is different; some have more ups, some have more downs. As holy as we may all like to paint ourselves at our darkest moments God is usually the last person we turn to, we usually wait till we've made it through then realise that he was there.

Sometimes the pains so deep, it blocks everything out
I've learnt to look deeper, so I can see the way out
For every end, there's a new beginning
And every battle worth fighting ends with winning
For every darkness, there's a light
The power of love and hope can make wrong to right
When times are hard just keep heaven in mind
You can find heaven on earth just seek and find

The most important thing to remember is that where there's a will there's a way!
- Soul_Full

Mind your own!!

Why is it that some people CAN NOT, seem to mind their own business? But yet, if you say anything about THEIR business, oh my dayzz!
It's human nature to be nosy at times, seriously, everybody is curious about others. Some people just can't respect the boundaries.

DO NOT, hold anything you've done for me over my head. If you want to do something for me, just do it. Don't go expecting certain things or doing it so you can brag about it or hold it over my head. That completely takes away from the favor.
DO NOT, blab my business just because I trusted you enough to share it. I, personally, am not afraid to share my personal experiences, problems, embarrassing moments, etc, with the people I TRUST. This does not however, mean that I trust you to determine who else should know these things. If I didn't tell someone something......MAYBE IT WAS FOR A REASON!!!
DO NOT, lecture me on something based on my past. Don't discount that people can change, mature, and become more responsible as they age. Maybe two years ago I wasn't in the right place, maybe now I am. I'll never know if I don't try :)

As I re-read this post, I seemed to have been a bit angry as my fingers were typing. Strangely enough, I wasn't mad at all, quite the opposite actually.

-SistaLova

I asked for love, you gave me pain
I gave my all, your heart to gain
I forget everything, and gave you mine
Thought trust and love, could heal it over time
I asked to trust, you brought me lies
They call it love, all I got was trials
Sometimes I wish I never, asked for anything at all
Maaybe then, I wouldnt have to fall
In and out of love, with you
Never knowing if this love is true

Ever since I can remember I've asked myself as a woman 'Why do we do the things we do?'. Only us can hold onto something as obscure as a smile and stay in relationships we know we shouldnt even be reading about let alone be in. But this is far from the truthbecause as you read this somewhere some how another woman is doing the same thing, holding onto a relationship with the hope that one day it'll be what we want it to be, instead of just saying this isnt it and moving on, we stay until either us or the relationship run out of life, wither up and die. So I'm gonna ask everyone else (who's honest enough to admit) 'Why do we do the things we do?' (men too).

- Soul_Full

Moving a lil' too fast

My friend is having a little dilema and needed some advice, so i suggested asking the wise readers of this blog to help out.

Let me give you the background information.....right, my friend...lets call her "Katie", shes dating this guy called..."Tom" he's funny, considerate and that all that good stuff!
The problem is he moves "a lil' too fast", shes told him that she wants to take things slow and build a friendship before taking it any further.....he took this as a rejection and said "your just using what your ex-boyfriend did to you and taking it out on me......i would never treat you that way". Katie claims this is NOT the case, but still feels that she needs to protect herself in any relationship, this i understand.

According to her if it was up to him he would be moving in with her next month .... he is already talking about introducing her to his family, they have only been together for a few weeks! I have reminded her that she should be careful about what she wishes for....she always claimed she wanted a guy that was "worthy" of her and treated her the way she "deserved" to be treated.....then BANG here he is, and she wants to take things slowly.

They were shopping together and she introduced him to someone as her "friend" afterwards they got into an argument with him saying, and i quote...."im not your friend...i'm your man" she claimed she was in shock after this statement because she didnt realise they had established themselves as a "couple".
Katie's strictly "old skool" and she wanted your opinions...when do you know your in a relationship??

Katie: "does'nt someone have to ask??.....Katie, do you wanna go out with me?....Yes...No...Maybe?

Help my girl out and leave some comments.....peace

- SistaLova

My Ideal Man

My ideal man! The amount of times that I have thought about what my husband should look like or what I would like my husband to look like. And how easy it is to say ‘Morris Chestnut, Tyson Beckford, Boris Kodjoe, Shemar Moore.’ So easy because they are FINE!!! But realistically, what are the chances ey? I’m really going to make my way to work and bump into Taye Diggs. Oh how I wish! But I was thinking about my ideal guy and this is what I singled it down to.

A tall guy, preferably 6 foot tall but not essential, the guy just has to be taller than me (even when I wear heels). Baring in mind, I’m between 5’6 and 5’7. Next feature, chocolate complexion….that’s something that makes me weak….a nice sharp shape up. Oooh chale!!! That’s it right there. Lol!! You and I both know that there’s more……a nice smile and he has to be a Christian. Those are the fundamentals of my ideal man; you think that’s a lot to ask. Well, sometimes, I actually do. Guys that approach me fall far and in between but they are never quite there. And who do I think I am? I’m Gabrielle, and frankly I don’t care whether I sound conceited, I know I’m not, just trying to get my point across. There have been times where I’ve settled for second best, sometimes not even as good as second best, just cant help making the wrong choices. And now, I’m trying to raise the bar a little higher, maybe that way I can meet my match. Tall, dark and handsome.........I’m waiting.

- Gabrielle

The end of no strings attached??

An update from the x-SoulSista-x....show some love and leave a few comments!