Yesterday

Yesterday was a turn of events for me. Let's start from the top:

I've been talking to this guy for a while now, I have to admit compared to the amount of time I spend concentrated on one guy, I've liked him for a long time. I mean I liked him when I started going out with my ex, I didn't act on it though because obviously I was in a relationship and I wasn't goint to be a 'cheater'.

So anyway, I was always talking to this guy, as a 'friend' but it only just heated up a few weeks back. Met up with him a few times, talked on the phone, blah blah blah... so there's me thinking I'm good to go, how wrong could I have been?
See my friends see me as the 'issue', but I'm starting to realise that it's not me at all... guys I talk to are usually on some 'pride' ish and wanna play games. Maybe I've been expecting too much from these guys but you can't help but hope that each guy you talk to will be different from the last. I hate being left in the dark, so I let you know from the get go whether I like you or not... and I expect the guy to do the same. But why is it so hard for a guy to express himself... I'm not asking you to lie to me, I'm asking you to tell me the truth. Be honest! If you don't like me, just say so. I seriously won't take offence, and I know I won't take offence because it's like me waiting around for something to develop between me and this guy and he doesnt even have feelings for me. Lol. I can't do that. I'd rather move on, as they say 'there's plenty more fish in the sea'. So why the hell is this guy... lets call him 'X' keeping me hanging around.

You're probably thinking... why don't you forget about him? Trust me, that has been an option but if I decide to make him a character of my past.. I can guarantee you he will never be in my future. Harsh, but that's the way I operate. Basically I dont want to forget about this guy, move on, and then him come back to me and express the way hes feeling. It's happened too many times... lol... actually it's the story of my life. Every guy I show interest in, they don't show me whatever they're thinking at that time, so then I move on. Then, a few months later, maybe even a year later, this guy pops out of the blue and wants to tell me he likes me... ok, so what do you want me to do about it? I really don't want this to continue. I mean how much longer can I take this? Anyway, I guess it'll stop when I get married right.... but who said I wanted to get married. Lol. OK OK... you guys know I'm playing right, of course I want to get married but why is it so much hassle to get to that point?

You know what I actually digressed from the point I was trying to make, I was supposed to talk about what happened to me yesterday. Ah well next post!

Til next time....

- Gabrielle