My Emotions

I can only write about what I’m feeling, only truly express my emotions concerning an important matter. I’ve done some soul searching, been in constant thought about my future, and finally, after all my deep moments I can come to the conclusion that maybe its not necessary to know every single thing that’s going to happen in your future. Its not necessary to try and plan every little detail, because simply and truly not everything is going to run as clockwork… that’s just the way life is.

He came yesterday, after how many months of waiting for him to arrive. I don’t believe in love at first sight but when I saw him, I knew something had to happen between us, if we just became friends, or we became partners… I knew something had to happen. Its so hard to explain. When I used to see guys I used to get this weird feeling in my stomach and that used to happen when they were really cute, or when I hadn’t seen a guy I liked in ages or something, now… that doesn’t happen. Its like all those feelings I used to have, they’ve disappeared. But its like if I see a guy now, I can acknowledge how cute he is without being phased; I just go about my business, back to normal. But as soon as I saw HIM, its like my whole body just exhaled, I felt at peace… weird I know, if only I could make you guys feel exactly what I’m talking about.

But its like now I can see a guy and actually connect with him, beyond words or touching or whatever, that’s what happened with ‘him’. When I can jus look at this ‘guy’ and feel like there’s no one else in the room, or when this guy smiles and its like I would do anything to see that smile again, or when he says something and I dote on every word, or even when I look at him just once but yet seem to take in all his features. I don’t know whether this is real, it could just be affection from my side but can you imagine how blissful life is for those so deeply connected. It’s like everything could be going wrong for you at that moment, but seeing that person makes everything better. I don’t know whether this will become of anything, this might be the first and last meeting between us, all I know is my view of love has changed… and it doesn’t seem as bad as I used to think.

It took so long for him to come, but in a way I’m happy it did. He text me after our meeting … he felt the same way I did, it just makes it that much more meaningful.

- Gabrielle