Emotional makeovers

OK. New start, new attitude, new clothes! LOL!! I wish. But anyway less about me, I read in ELLE (if you don’t know this about me I’m an avid ELLE reader, the thrills and excitement of fashion still calls me to this day.) Back to what I was saying, I read in ELLE that when a woman is getting over a break-up, basic instincts is to cut her hair off. They said that a woman can make herself over emotionally and physically (even her wardrobe) but cutting her hair makes it more drastic, makes it seem like she really is taking control of her life. Some women want to physically show their exes that they have moved on, you could have matured, even changed your sense of style but nothing shouts ‘I’m over you’ like a drastic new haircut.
As I read this I started laughing, I mean come to think of it most girls I know that cut their hair just got out of a break-up or out of something that affected their lives drastically. Then I analysed why I cut my hair and NO, it wasn’t because I had broken up with my boyfriend. I cut my hair because I was turning 18 and wanted a new look, I wanted to look mature.

I can recall the events like it was yesterday:

I’d been thinking about cutting my hair for a while, I wasn’t pleased with my appearance and I felt like I looked like any other regular black chick. I thought a 'cut' would solve the problem and so proceeded with that plan. Went to the hairdressers and she carried out my request, all I kept hearing was gasps and ‘oh my gosh’ but I need to describe what I felt. It felt like an out of body experience, no joke, when my hair was falling to the floor I felt no anxiety. I felt at peace when my hair was being cut, it was so surreal. I felt like the ‘old’ me was dying away with every strand of hair that was being cut. Like I was a new person, I looked and felt like a totally different person. All in my state of mind ergo but it didn’t matter, it was my re-birth!
Ever since that day I haven’t looked back, I had a few wild moments that I will take to my grave. It gave me a confidence I never knew was in me, I mean before I used to hide behind my hair, having the short hair meant I couldn’t hide behind anything, my face was out there. I wasn’t extremely quiet but you know how it is, sometimes you just don’t feel like talking but that all changed… I learnt how to interact.
As much as the short cut made me feel liberated, it brought out a side of me I’d rather keep locked inside. I cheated on my then boyfriend, I met up with a guy that I’d known for literally 10 seconds and had a rather steamy rendezvous- lets not get into that.
It’s like I became one of those girls who are on ‘lock’ for many years then when they go off to uni they turn wild, the difference with me is that my living arrangements never changed, nothing changed except my outlook on life. I mean it wasn’t a drastic change, but it was a change. The compliments about my new look, the attention I was getting, the extended freedom I had… all went to my head.

So anyway, I got home that night and my mum was extremely angry with me but I didn’t care, I really didn’t. I was on this high, its unexplainable!
Then my house phone rang, my mum told me it was my 'then' boyfriend, so I was excited. I was going to tell him that I cut my hair and how I hoped he wouldn’t be angry with me. I was just going to share my basic feelings with him as I always did but before I could even say any of that… he broke up with me.
BUMMER!!

Technically, I had cut my hair before he broke up with me so it didn’t count as a repercussion of his actions, but that drastic move made it easier for me to get on with my life. In a way I knew it wasn’t going to work, cutting my hair was just a sign of things to come.

- Gabrielle