Seven Deadly Sins Of Sisterhood

Hmm, in light of recent 'comments' i thought i might bring this topic to the surface. I was watchin the Tyra show awhile back, and she came up with this concept, i was very intrigued.
1. Envy
2. Judgement
3. Resentment
4. Manipulation
5. Betrayal
6. Competition
7. Gossip
Now, after she had identified all the deadly sins of sisterhood, i could not help but think at least 5 of those 7 applied to me. I can remember occasions, a couple years back where i have envied, been judgemental and gossiped like there was no tomorrow! But now i ask myself what did i possibly achieve by being like that? I lost a couple of true sisters, partied more and lost faith. After a much deserved break, i took the time to re-evaluate past experiences in my life and what stood out the most is that ive nearly lost true sistas over guys. (KMT) So, i'll make this short and sweet and ask...
Which sin have you been guilty of committing, or a victim of?

and leave you with the words of tyra
'Stop negativity and competition and support one another.'


x-soul sista-x

Week 2

Lesson 2: Leave playing mind games to children. It doesn't work on girls... or guys for that matter. I would really like to know where 'mind games' started from (I mean between the opposite sex) 'cos it causes so many problems that could have been avoided. So yeah, if you like a guy, just tell him you like him, what's the worst that could happen? lol, lol. OK many things could happen but not enough to make you feel like doo-doo for the rest of your life. LIFE GOES ON!! And same applies to the guys, if you like a girl, just tell her, there's nothing worse than you dropping hints for months only to see the girl you really like, go out with another guy. so take what I have said and let it marinate/marinade (didn't know which word was correct in this context) in your head. Whilst I tell you what happened to me in Week 2. ENJOY!!!

Still in London, catching up with friends, life was good during this week, I felt so popular. People had ‘heard it through the grapevine’ that I was back on ends, so naturally I was getting called every minute being asked ‘what you on’ for the day… so I guess I could say I was out most of the time… enjoying myself. But one thing that I noticed which I only got to deal with directly was the fact that when I like someone, they NEVER show me that they like me back at that moment. I always feel like I’m the only one showing a certain interest… so before long I’m over them. You guys already know my nickname ‘crush hoe’, so the fact that I got over this guy wasn’t a problem. Now I liked this guy in college right to when I started uni but he wasn't showing me nothing back… so you know the routine... I forgot about him QUICKTIME. NOW, it wasn’t until I went back to London that week that I found out he had liked me all along. KMT why couldn’t he just tell me that he liked me… rather than playing stupid games. You see, I don’t understand ‘hints’ really I don’t… I usually don’t even know when a guy is ‘chirpsin’ me because I just usually think they’re being friendly. I think nothing of subtle talk, unless a guy comes up to me with the blatant lines ‘can I have your number’ and he hasn’t even asked my name that’s when I know he’s chirpsin me. So yeah, this guy tried to tell me how I never showed him love, and so he moved on… kmt. After I know I told him I liked him - Oh well!! That's life!! Next week... new story, new lesson.

CIAO

- Gabrielle

What clothes cant you stand on the opposite sex?

Moving on from the 'Money and Love' issue, I was going through a magazine and i came across this topic, it had me stitches! One guy said (and i quote:)
'Dem short mini skirts wiv dem leggin things underneath..Mini Skirts are an access ting, so why wear it den put trousers underneath dat jus makes things complicated!'
I literally could not breathe, (there was more said about big panties and tracksuits but that was a bit 2 deep) i thought to myself, Is he serious? So i decided to think what clothes i cant bear to see on guys and i was thinking for about an hour! So where shall i begin...
First off the biggest issue i have is da trousers that HANG off a guys arse, 'Dont look den', i hear u say, Well, wen ur 5ft4 and a guys 6ft thats the first thing u see from behind and its so irratating, cuz no I DONT WANT TO SEE UR BART SIMPSON BOXERS! SO PULL IT UP AND LEAVE IT UP!
Staying on the trouser tip, why do these 'fresh off da boat guys' wear trousers 12 times to big? and come with these phony american accents wen they've only just left da shores of the motherland? You dont have to buy trousers to tight, but damn dont buy trousers that we can both fit into 2GETHA!
Issue 3 sandels and jogging bottoms-nuff said.
Issue 4 Colours, now i personally dont have a problem with guys wearing purple and pink shirts like Cam'ron however dont make it a habit of wearing these colours all da time, or else i'll be wondering..'Is he bi-curious?'
Issue 5 (i have a lot of issues, dont i? well they need to be addressed) this one will be the last, PLEASE DO NOT WEAR A WINTER WHOLLY HAT AND A NEW ERA CAP..TOGETHER!

x-soul sista-x

What Easter Candy Are You??

Cadbury Creme Egg

You're the type that stole little brother's easter basket so that you could have MORE CANDY!

What Easter Candy Are You?

Have a fun and blessed Easter people!!

- AfroDivas

Can money buy you love?

On a discussion i was having with a male compadrez of mine, the topic came up if money can buy you love. I said no but he said yes, so being very lady-like i told him to explain what he meant first.
'Girls love everything materialistic...' he said.(at this point, before the conversation developed i was thinking is this boy serious?)...'if a guy has a lot of money he can buy anything he wants for a girl...'
I said: 'the only exception is love'
He said 'No it isnt cause, you can buy anything for a girl and they would eventually fall in love with you.'
His point was not getting no-where of any real interest, so i decided to state my case, instead:
'Money can buy you many things, cars, jewellery, e.t.c however the one thing in the world it cant but you is love, because love is something you can not see and purchase, you feel it. It is indescribable and has no price tag because love is priceless. There is a difference between being in love with someone and having love for someone but i cant buy anything for someone, in the hope to make them fall in love with me, it just doesnt make any sense!.
He said: Money CAN buy you love, especially with a girl you want if she sees that your going to spend on her, like she deserves to be spent on she WILL love you.
I literaly could not believe what i was hearing, so before i argued even more, i decided to ask him: 'Has money bought you love?' He was quiet. I said 'i take that as a no then, so what experience are you talking from' Again he was quiet. So i decided to get other peoples opinion on the subject.
Accordinbg to one guy, money cant buy you love it can give you a boost, money can make you look good and to a girl that is important cause they wouldnt want no bum on the street, someone who looks fresh is important. Well i think he missed the point.
Another guy said girls love to be in control, they love power. Money equals power so therefore money can buy you love.
These wild generalisations made me feel that most guys catergorized girls as being all the same and money hungry, which i disagree so i open it up to you can money buy you love?

x-soul sista-x

Remember X-Soul Sista-X.....well shes back from her looong hiatus *lol, and is no longer a "no strings girl" (thank the lord!!). Her outspoken and shocking posts will be on this site from now on....enjoy!

- AfroDivas

Back on the Scene..... continued

I’ve been gone for a while… but I’m back… bout to jump off… lol… (moment of madness) but anyway, the past few weeks have been ‘interesting’ to say the least, taking that break was much needed and added to my life experience. You know there are times when you think you’ve lived life but in retrospect you haven’t. See, I thought I had seen everything I had needed to see… I thought that I had experienced everything I needed to experience… but that all changed these past few weeks. You learn something new everyday and that’s exactly what has happened concerning my life… I’ve learnt a lot. With age comes wisdom…lol… check me though, talking about ‘wisdom’ but things have changed now, and in the next few weeks I’ll be telling you exactly why some things have changed.

My 1st week of my much needed break

I decided to go back to London, just to go and see friends and family… basically I went home to chill out. And that’s when everything started…. I was walking to my front door… (I think I had just come back from my friend’s house), not blowing my own horn but Gabrielle was looking FLY… so anyway I’m about to put my key in the door when someone calls my name. I turn around to see my next door neighbour, he’s such a cutie but let me give you some background info on him.

Tall, brown skin, very cute, very smart, very funny…. So basically I think he’s a HUNNY!! One problem – he’s younger than me. DAMN!! I mean I have never, ever been approached by a guy on ‘road’… and NO I’m not ugly that’s not the reason why I don’t get approached, I was told that some guys may feel intimidated by me but that’s another story.

Back to the scene, he calls me from his balcony then we start talking and whatever, catching up on things…. Then he tells me he’s coming downstairs I should wait. So I do. And what happened next is what surprised me the most…. He came downstairs and we were talking again, then he says, ‘You’re so beautiful’…. Lol…. Now if you know me I don’t take people's compliments seriously. I mean for all I know they could be lying to me and where would that leave my self-esteem if the truth was unveiled. Besides, I’m a diva… I don’t need anyone to tell me what I know already…. OK!!!! Lol. So he says ‘you’re so beautiful’… and his movements start to slow down…. then, then he leans in for a kiss .... now I don’t know about you ladies but opportunities like that don’t come knocking everyday… so what did I do?? Oh yes I do believe I kissed him back……

…. OK…. Calm down, calm down. I was joking…. It didn’t turn out quite as I described it but hey… no harm in dreaming right? So lemme rewind and start again,

Guy next door: You’re so beautiful
Gabrielle: Thanks. You’re not so bad yourself.
Guy next door: You know I’ve wanted to talk to you on a different level but as we went college together I knew you wouldn’t take me seriously so I decided to jam.

Now, there I am kinda dumbfounded… I mean this guy is a cutie and all those days we used to go to college together, all those times we used to mess about and stuff… he secretly liked me…. I would have never guessed.
He was right for not trying to approach me on a different level in college though because as some of you will know from your own experiences…. College is HYPE!! Everyone’s in your business, judging you, telling you what to do, or better yet telling their friends what they would have RATHER done if they were you.

Sad thing about ‘guy next door’ is he has so much potential… but Gabrielle is stuck in her own realm of insecurities and just won’t let it happen… shame huh? Age ain’t nothing but a number right…. yeah well tell that to my heart… ‘cos right about now it doesn’t even want to know.

Lesson 1: Something I remember Eva Longoria (Desperate Housewives) saying in ‘Elle’ magazine, she said, any guy that approaches you or asks you out on a date, you should give him a chance (this does not apply to ‘uncles’) because you never know what you’re missing out on. I mean take ‘guy next door’ as an example… he could be what I’ve been looking for all this time but I’ve missed that chance… now I’ll never know whether he was the one for me.

- Gabrielle

Honestly Speaking....

It’s a shame that we can’t be who we really are – all the time. Everyone wears a mask or a disguise of some kind, you almost have to. At work, you act a certain way, respond a certain way, talk a certain way; you have to project a work image – even if it’s totally not you. It’s all part of the job, no matter what you do for a living. Outside of work, when you’re with friends (for those who have friends), or when you’re just in a public place with other people, you act a different way. You’re a little more your real self, but you still have to wear a disguise.

There are rules. There are things you can’t say, shouldn’t say, shouldn’t do – no matter how right it feels. Feelings, feelings complicate everything. Most of the time you can get by, no matter what life decides to throw at you, but then those annoying feelings come marching in. They always arrive when you’re at your weakest or when you’re most distracted. It’s like they are always lurking, just waiting for a break in your defenses. There are good and bad feelings.
You would think that good feelings are always a good thing and bad feelings always bad, but this is not the case – especially when you’re feelings involve other people, and they almost always do.

There are times when good emotions have to be kept a secret because some people won’t understand and they will feel threatened and use your them against you. This is when good feelings can actually make you feel bad – because you can’t act on them or tell anyone about them. How many secrets can you keep before you go completely mad? In this world that's full of secrets how do people ever survive? How can we be prepared for anything when everything has to be such a secret? When you can’t admit your true feelings, are you lying? How can we be truthful about anything if we continue to lie about almost everything? Who is it we’re lying to – ourselves? If you truly dislike someone, but you’re nice to them and talk to them and maybe even do things with them, are lying to them? Your actions clearly say one thing, but on the inside, in that dark little place that only you know about, the truth lives.

Let’s say the opposite is true. You find yourself very attracted to someone, yet you distance yourself and maybe even avoid this person because showing any signs of affection toward this person is inappropriate for whatever reason. Yet if you disliked this person, it would be fine to have lunch, go for a walk in the park, engage in lengthy conversation – because – it’s all an act. You have no feelings for this person. It’s the guy down the street you really want to be with. All lies. If there is any hope in surviving in a world full of lies, we must tell the obvious truth, at least to certain people. The truth is that we don't have time to tell lies. We don't have time to stand still and weave these elaborate webs of deceit. We only have time to believe what is true. Believe that we will be okay. Believe that we will make it. To do otherwise is to live a constant lie and why even bother? What kind of life can be lived when you constantly have to watch your step, consider every word you say, control or deny your feelings so that no one will ever get a glimpse of what’s behind the mask.

How do you ever really know what’s true? How can you tell if someone really likes or dislikes you? How do you determine if someone feels the same way about you as you do about them when you can’t even tell that person how you really feel? In any relationship there are risks. If you do too much, you can scare the other person away. Do too little and they’ll think you’re not interested and go looking elsewhere. At what point do I remove the disguise, dig up your secret and tell someone your hearts desires? At what point can we all stop living a lie?

P.S. To the daily readers if this blog: excuse my randomness.....i just needed to vent!
To u kno who: You needed to read this!!

- SistaLova

What's Your Biggest Fear?

I know… I know! I apologise in advance…you can probably guess from the title that I'm not going to continue with my 'adventures' in this post … its just that this topic was a matter still fresh in my head, so I decided to write but I promise…. you readers have my word…. I am going to make sure my next post is about what I got up to in those 'exciting' weeks.

So anyway… what’s your biggest fear?

I asked a few friends of mine… just to get a varied answer of what people’s biggest fears were and even though I was looking for some sort of variation…. I actually got similarities.

Death... waking up to realise you’ve married the wrong person... failure, and so on and so forth. They basically fell into these categories: marriage, death, failure and regret. Asking people these questions made me realise that even though some of us have that ‘don’t care attitude’… we actually do care, 'cos if we didn't care, (personally I think) we wouldn't necessarily have a biggest fear (if you catch my drift).

My biggest fear…. I have loads…. Regretting important choices I’ve made concerning my career, my spouse… death…. Not making it into heaven (I don’t dwell on that one too much), I believe I’m going to heaven…. My last one is watching my younger siblings grow up and seeing them amount to nothing. Not that I concentrate on that but I don’t think I’d be strong enough to handle negative criticism from other members of the family (on behalf of my siblings) if you know what I mean.

I know you’re probably thinking where did that come from… but don’t you ever spend days thinking about different issues… wondering 'what if' or 'why' certain things happen. I actually have many days of ‘thinking’ and it bothers me that I think so much but hey… that’s another side of me. I’m a thinker… every situation I’m in or have been in… believe it or not… I’ve thought about it, maybe a bit too much, but I’ve thought about it. What I realised about being a ‘thinker’ is that you tend to plan things to the smallest detail and sometimes, just sometimes your plan doesn’t go to plan. Then what?

Then readers, you become an analyst, analysing every single thing, why it went wrong and what could happen if you got another chance. KMT. If only I could change this nature in myself… I seriously would. There are times when I want to live each day like it’s my last but to be honest that doesn’t happen and there’s me…. still being the ‘thinker’.
There are days when I have the ‘don’t care attitude’ but then it doesn’t last for too long… because as I said before, having that attitude actually means you do care.

Then I thought for a while and actually realised what my biggest fear was. I mean all the fears I listed are big... trust me. But if you couldn't establish (couldn't isolate) what you're biggest fear was, it's probably because you've deceived yourself into thinking you don't have one. And I'll be real honest with you... I know exactly what my biggest fear is and as lame as it may be... i think it's the root of most issues I come across.

My fear : disappointment.

I met him several times when I was younger... plenty more times as I grew older and frankly having to meet dissapointment again in the near future... puts me in some kind of fear. Some kind of apprehension that as time goes by... he gets uglier and uglier.

- Gabrielle

Back on the Scene

So I went on a break to live LIFE… writing everyday was stripping me from actually being able to let you guys know what was really going on in my life. So… what’s happened since my departure? A LOT!!! Oh my days!!! SOOOOOOO MUCH… so much I think it’s going to take a few days to fully complete the story.

So let me start at the beginning… relax, push your chair back and read on… my life… and its action.

Where do I start?? Umm… my quest for a husband is officially over!! How many times have I said that? I know, I know. LOADS. But this time I mean it and I’m not saying it because I’ve found THE ONE, in fact I don’t think I’m even near to him yet but I’ve realised something… I like to worry. I mean, I think I’ve picked up some of my mum’s traits and ‘worrying’ is on her list of characteristics. Honestly! To tell you the truth I have always been a worrier… to the point where if something is troubling me I won’t sleep, won’t eat, won’t even watch tv and if you know the type of person I am… when I don’t watch tv… there’s a problem. Some people find shopping therapeutic, others find that playing Pro Evolution sorts them out but with me its tv.

So, back to the story, it seems like every time I start talking to a guy, I’m infatuated then a few days later (1 week maximum) I’m off him. I was told by my friend that I have 'commitment issues' but I don’t think that’s it. Now I’ve decided to go on with life whichever way it sways me…. And boi… has it swayed me in some different directions. As my uni life became more exciting and I started to make new friends – I realised there was more to life than wondering whether a guy liked me or not … so now that I’ve got that guy issue out of the way I can commence to tell you about what really went down these past few weeks, and to tell you the truth I never knew I had it in me.

Read my next post… the first part into my much needed break.

- Gabrielle

Its Been A Long Time.....

Hey guys....I kno its been a while but i just needed a lil "time out" on the whole blogging thing. I love the idea of saying what I want when I want to....(not that I dont already). But the idea of afrodivas was to write about our lives and laugh whether it was good or bad, the truth is I wanted or needed to do a bit more living! Its all good now because the team is back!!

Ok... So i volunteered to write the first post back (kmt...Me & My eager self!), I didnt think it would be so hard. I even asked a friend of mine to give me a topic!! her response was, Whats the point in blogging?

So here it goes....

I used to wonder why people put personal stuff about themselves on the web. What if the wrong person were to find it and read it? But what is the likelihood of that ever happening? I mean, how big is the web? And unless I hand that wrong person the address of this website and reveal my identity on this site, how are they ever going to find it? So why bother? Well, that was the dilemma...but not anymore, everything said on this site is ALWAYS a true and honest expression of how I feel or felt at that time and there is no point in living in fear of what others think. (But I will admit sometimes I say things that I just know, peps are gonna have a problem with!)

I guess secretly I want the wrong people to find the site, because like I've said before some people cant handle the truth face to face. I love hearing about someone that I care about taking the time to actually try find this site and that they care enough about me to sit and read it. And then there are total strangers who stumble across it and take the time to comment.

I know I’m different ( I perfer the term individual..lol), I always have been I mean I can pass for normal or boring when I want to, but it takes effort...lol. What’s nice is when I post something and someone will say something like “I can relate to what you’re saying because I feel the same way", especially during our hiatus... big thanks to all da peps that left voice and text message(s) * notice I said messages...lets just say some of you are crazy...lol* asking us to come back...lol. Sometimes it’s just nice to see the number of visitors to our site even if no one says anything. But you know I enjoy the messages more!!

So maybe I’m doing this so I don’t let life get too crazy for me. And maybe I’m doing this just to get stuff out of my head. There will also be days when there’s no reason to spill words out on the screen except that writing is what I do and what I feel like doing at that moment, what I actually enjoy. I just write, like I was having a conversation with a total stranger on a long bus trip...not that I talk to strangers, I learnt that lesson in primary school lol!!
I am a humble person with some amazing things to say...lol and I guess the whole point of a blog for me is that I can just say it!

- SistaLova

Soon Come!!

Hey people....its been a while since the AfroDivas have been missing in action. But im pleased to say that we are returning on the 28th March!....so check us out a few changes have been made in the AfroDivas camp, so this blog will not have daily entries like before....but dont worry their will be regular updates and a few changes on the site. Peace....

- AfroDivas

To Be Continued.....

Wassup people, this is a final post from "da Afro Divas".....dont worry, we're coming back in a couple of weeks!
We have all enjoyed working on this site and hope to continue soon... bigger and better than before!

The date of our return has'nt been confirmed yet, so just watch this space!!....peace

- AfroDivas

Chirpsin d man dem (pt 2)

Ok... so I said I'm gonna start chirpsin d man dem and since then I haven't come across a guy that is worthy of me 'chirpsin'. Lol. Yeah that was up until I went to a little get 2 gether and there he was. The epitome of FINE. Oh my days!! He was beautiful man, the whole image. But see this chirpsin thing only works when you first see the person init, not if you've met them a couple of times.

I mean I know this guy but it's only recently that I noticed how nice he is. In other words my eyes opened WELL WELL! But see I just talk to him as a friend not a best friend, just someone I'm cool with. But to him I'm probably a young girl, he probably doesn't even 'see' me like that, that's why I want him to notice me. I mean I think we would actually be good together. So how do I go about it, how do I get him to notice me... cos that's what I want basically. I want him to like me. Is that a bad thing?

If he doesn't like me I'll move on. I know that for sure. It's not hard for me to like someone else(even my friends can tell you.... one of my good friends (her name Bushrat..lol..lol) calls me a 'crush hoe'), I can just 'like' one guy one day and watch another guy the next. But thats another story for another day.

Back to this 'beautiful' guy, what if he does like me... ah I can't stop thinking about him... I need to see him again. I wonder if this is how guys feel when they see 'the one' or a girl that they think is BUFF. I try to get him out of my mind but I can't, it kinda sucks 'cos I promised myself that I wouldn't focus on guys. But oh my days.......wot to do?? Someone help me 'cos the next time I see him I don't want to act a fool, I don't want to make it obvious to him that I like him but I reall want him to like me...

What do I do??

- Gabrielle

Sperm Bandits!!

I knew that heading would grab your attention...Honestly you lot are so predictable!! Any mention of sex and your eyes pop out of their sockets...lol
Well bad news peeps. Because this isnt about mine or anyone else's "Love Below"....well not entirely anyway...lol

If a woman gets pregnant by a man without his prior consent, is she secretly stealing his seed??

This thought came to me after reading an article about a guy suing a chick in New Mexico for stealing his sperm. He claims that she promised to take the pill, but stopped in order to have a baby.... making him a father without his knowledge or consent. The woman argued that she could not have "stolen" his sperm because because he "surrended any right of possesion...when he transferred it...during voluntary sexual intercourse". Now i dont know about you but i had to laugh when reading that particuilar line! she also said that "It should be considered a gift". I cant speak for all the women out there, but if a dude was to give you his sperm as a "gift" im not sure you would be happy about it...lol

We (men) can never be sure. There are all sorts of freaks around. If your a man, you have to deal with the possibility that you have released millions of "lil' Friends" into the wilderness. For all you know you could have fathered hundreds of kids...( i think the record no. of kids for a man was 888 by a old emperor of morocco)...that you know nothing about.

Whenever i try and discuss this topic with the opposite sex i always get the same reaction..."Excuse me, punk!....blaming mums for not using birth control....ever heard of a condom??"(you know while saying dat they were clicking their fingers or moving their neck so much it looked painful....lol)
Lets face it to some women, men are a walking gene pool, and its a general rule that a woman goes for the most sought after sperm she can lay her hands on. Its the right combination of brains, health and stamina...all of which i have! Once identified as the "best available", some women will zoom in like missile launcher!! I mean these women dont have a problem enticing us guys to give it up, all they have to do is wear lil' make up, get there hair done and wear the.... right clothes...
And if a woman can't get the "best", then she'll settle for second best, third best....A hard core woman will go even further. SPERM BANDITS

- BruthaDiva

Different opinions

Is it too much to ask to want to be successful, is it too much to ask to want to be independent, too much to want to live comfortably? I’m asking these questions because I feel like my independence poses a problem to the opposite sex. I mean at first, the guys I talk to seem to want that sort of girl but the more I talk to them the more they seem completely different to what I want in a guy. I mean at first its all gravy and then later on they’re talking about ‘the wife being in the kitchen’. OK. What’s wrong with you being in the kitchen? Don’t get me wrong, I will be a dutiful wife and I will look after my husband and our home but there is a limit to all of that. I mean what’s the point of me devoting my life to someone who won’t respect me enough to realise that not everything can be done solely by me. I think back to a conversation I had with one of my friends and he said that he will never step foot in the kitchen, like NEVER. I couldn’t understand how he could make a statement like that so I asked him to elaborate,

‘Basically, I don’t like cooking, don’t like being in the kitchen. I feel imprisoned anytime I go in there, so basically that would be my wife’s territory. Whatever I want, she makes.’

I’ve been told that I am quite shallow concerning some aspects of life but excuse me, what rubbish is that? So even if I was sick, this guy wouldn’t enter the kitchen. That is so wrong. And just hearing him talk about what his wife should do and what she should be about, well, frankly, it upset me. Something in me boiled up. I can’t do it. I can’t do that. I’ll love my husband unconditionally but I don’t know whether I could love a guy with such a character. It would be really hard, I do admit that. And then I was thinking about the flipside.

As much as that guy was chattin so much rubbish, have I ever been guilty of that. Umm... i think I have, not intentionally though. I mean you readers probably know me a bit by now... I seem shallow, not quite though, just a little. There have been a few things I have said in the past that could make a guy perceive ladies to be 'gold-diggers, shallow, egotistical, harsh.' But I mean come on what's the point in me being with a guy that I feel is doing worse than me in life. Not that I'm judging his way of life or anything... but reflecting to what I said before... I'm going to be a dutiful and submissive wife, but how can I do that if i don't even respect the guy. It's like if I'm the CEO of a business firm and my husband's the cleaner. It just doesn't work does it. And yes I know people say LOVE overcomes all of that but that sort of situation could present a lot of problems, don't you think??

Things like this are so confusing that's why I've decided to hang up my shoes of reasoning... I just can't be bothered any more. Next post ... I'm gonna be strait up... apologies in advance.

- Gabrielle

Say a lil' prayer

I want to ask my afro divas and other readers of this blog to say a small prayer to end all da madness dats been going on in da world, because i'm afraid my friend is gonna loose her mind!!

Truth is shes not really a friend but a collegue from work, every time she reads or hears a story about anthrax, mad cow disease or bird flu da girl goes into a panic and tries to track down whateva cure she thinks is available. She's so afraid of bird flu she nearly falls to the ground in da fetal position wheneva she sees a pigeon!!...lol

I should'nt even laugh, cos its serious....she keeps on advising everyone to wear gloves when opening their mail and drink soy milk because she's afraid of catching mad cow's disease from drinking cow's milk...kmt
I think all dis nonsense came from her trip to America...(u kno dey all crazy).

So remeba peps to say a lil' prayer!

- SistaLova

Not so Diva-esque!

Have you ever noticed when your phone stops ringing? Like I hope I’m not the only one but no one seems to call me anymore. And at first it didn’t bother me, but it’s like now I just sit at home doing nothing… and even through that I don’t get any calls. All I can think about is the amount of fun my friends are having, I don’t even like calling people at these times because it will add insult to my injury. Hearing your friend having fun with their friends. Nah… I’m not going to call. What’s happening to me? Gabrielle’s getting soft… I used to be tough, I used to be admired, my phone was always ringing, and I was always talking to someone. What’s happened? Have I crawled down my society circle? I hope not! I brought together my circle of friends… this can’t be happening. Just imagine if I was to call one of them, and they all happened to be together. Aargh…right now my life doesn’t seem so great. I haven’t even got any work to occupy myself with. Back in London and I feel like an absolute loser. This is not how I pictured it. I didn’t think I’d ever say this but I can’t wait to go back to uni. I’m being serious. And my uni. isn’t even the livest one… it’s actually quite boring when you eradicate the ‘raving, drinking,’ (not that I do that) but that’s all there is. And to me that is BORING!! How many raves can you go to in one week? Ok, ok, yes I know you can reach loads…but that’s really not me. But enough about that… what am I going to do about this ‘no calls’ thing. I mean I even check my phones (notice I said phones, no one calls me on either) to see whether there’s reception… now that’s sinking to an all time low don’t you think? Maybe this is the time when I’m supposed to focus on work and stuff but how can I do that? All my work is in… I finished everything. Oh my gosh!! I think I’ve fallen down my social circle.

Not so diva-esque as I thought huh.

- Gabrielle

Dont hate me, If ur girl wants me!!

In-se-cure (adjective) 1. Not secure or safe; 2. Not assured of safety; liable to suffer loss or harm
In-se-cu-ri-ty (noun) 1. The condition of being unsafe; liability to injury, loss or failure; uncertainty; instability

(I have wanted to talk about this particular subject for a very long time, but never really had a reason to bring it up until this morning. Since opportunity finally presented itself, I'm going to knock down there door. I want to talk about men, who are insecure in their relationships.)

A few weeks ago I got a call from a friend of mine that I haven't seen in over a year. She was calling to tell me that she was coming back down to London and was hoping we could get together for dinner one night while she was here. I told her that that was cool. For whatever reason, we never did hook up. What was even more strange, she didn't even call me to tell me what had happened. That was until this morning. She left me a V.msg and apologized for not meeting me. She said that her boyfriend ended up coming down too and he didn't want her to see me. She also went on to say that her boyfriend thought that we were too close and he didn't feel comfortable with our friendship. He isn't the first man that has unnecessarily felt uncomfortable with the relationship that I have with their girlfriend.

Unfortunately, none of these guy have anything to worry about. In most cases, I was there before they got into the picture and should be seen as a non-factor. For those cases where I met a woman who was already in a relationship, I would respect the guy and the relationship . . . at least as long as the woman did!

The way I see it, if you feel threatened by a third party, then maybe you need to check yourself. If you think for one second that the woman you're with is looking at someone else, then maybe, just maybe, you should see if there's something you aren't giving her... before you think the worst.

Have you ever been in a situation where you, or the person you were with, felt threatened by a third party? If so, how did you handle it? Were you ever in a situation in which you were forced to cut a friend out of your life for the sake of a relationship? If you've ever dated someone who was insecure, was it possible to reassure them that there was nothing to worry about, or did their insecurity ruin your relationship?

- BruthaDiva

Segregation

Segregation. What makes us segregate? Sitting in one of my seminars today actually made me think about that. As I looked around my seminar group I realised that even though we might not know it, we are segregated. Each row was separated into race, can you believe that? I mean I’m a strong believer of inter-racial relationships and I’m not talking about boyfriend-girlfriend relationships, I’m talking about plain friendships.

The 1st row was all Caucasians, the 2nd row was all Asians and the 3rd row were all black people. That disturbed me because I wondered what the subliminal message was behind the separation. I mean I genuinely like the people in my class so I don’t understand why our class wasn’t mixed up. I mean I don’t think we all sat in those places on purpose, but the fact is that we did sit there.

There are some things we do that we’re not aware of and segregation is one example. Usually my seminar group is mixed so that wasn’t my biggest worry. My worry was in my lectures; I haven’t seen segregation like this ever. My primary school was totally mixed, same goes for my secondary school, college was unbalanced but compared to other people I know, my classes were probably the only example of non-segregation. (Even though I think it’s due to the subjects I studied, I mean who takes French as an A2 Level). So basically through my life I haven’t seen segregation as I’ve seen it in uni. And what baffles me is what brings it on? I mean do people suddenly decide that when they go to uni they’re only going to talk to people who are exactly like them, by that I mean same colour, same origin, same background. Is that what my society has boiled down to? It saddens me but what can I do, I’m not the first to experience it and I doubt that I’ll be the last.

What happened to Martin Luther King’s speech, was it all said in vain? He wanted us to be able to walk side by side and no longer be segregated. But despite his efforts we still are. It might not be as extreme as it was back then, but the main fact is that we are separated. And that’s the problem. I can only imagine how it’s going to be for my children. You think its going to be worse? I hope not. I want my child to grow up with no inhibitions and no acquired stereotype of other cultures but in saying that I think that that might be inevitable. As the days go by and the years roll on, our society’s becoming more and more divided. And it’s that division that scares me.

- Gabrielle