Untitled.. Part 2

"I love you, SL...leave Max". "I'll call off the wedding" I promised. Yet each time I returned to my loving fiance, I was just too weak. So I chose not to choose. Switching off guilt, I abandoned myself to this madness.

A month before the wedding I was driving with Kevin, when I realised I'd left my credit card at home. "We'll call in and collect it....I'll tell Max you're my cousin." (I know, I know your thinking what a complete bitch, well...yes.)

Anyway my family was huge and Max was so trusting, I knew he'd believe me. Sure enough..."nice to meet you," Max smiled. Kevin grinned as they chatted, and so did I. I'd got away with it! Two weeks on, Kevin was having problems with his living arrangements and needed a new place to stay, the solution was obvious. "Stay with us," I said "We can't do that...its not right" kevin said shocked. I pleaded with him, terrified that if he did'nt have anywhere to stay, he'd leave London. Reluctantly Kevin agreed. Then I asked Max if he could have the spare room..."of course" he said.

Poor, innocent and naive. He had no idea the moment he left for work, Kevin would slip into our still warm bed and make love to me. But how was he to know? we still slept together and in a few weeks, we'd be celebrating our love on a romantic honeymoon in Fiji. Every day that passed, my nerves got worse. Max even invited Kevin to our wedding. "I'm sorry, I've got to work,". Later, he cornered me. "You've got to call off the wedding," he said. "We can't do this to Max." But it had gone on for too long and I was terrified of owning up now. "I can't do it," I sighed. Instead, I daydreamt about Kevin turning up at the ceremony and stopping the proceedings.

The eve of our wedding seemed to come around suddenly. Max kissed me goodbye. He was spending the night at his mum's,leaving Kevin and I alone. "See you at the altar," Max smiled to me... "Love you". As the door shut I replied "Me too".
Then a long, charged silence fell between Kevin and I. We were all alone. I broke down and with the tears came the courage I should of had weeks earlier. "I've got to tell Max I cant go through with it".

- SistaLova