Hey guys! Its been a while, but you know how it is....busy, busy!
Recently I feel like I've been living in the library. In fact it's 10.30 and I'm here procrastinating, instead of finishing off my essay(s). I've got so much coursework to do it's ridiculous! But its all good you have to work hard to achieve big things, which I definately plan on doing.
As a few of you know from my past posts that crazy people like to be a prominent fixture in my life lol...no seriously. They're everywhere work, uni, social events...everywhere! But one place I can always find solice is in the library, err..that was until now.
So because I always have encounters with weird people I have developed a natural radar that alerts me to whenever one is nearby (yes, its that serious!). As I saw this person approaching (I think we should call her Why?) I knew all was not well and was praying that she would not sit next to me, my prayers were not answered.
Why? begins her random behaviour by spraying herself with deodorant, and i'm not talking about a quick spray. This girl was spraying like she wanted to finish the whole can. I'm worried my lungs won't be the same again!
As she's doing this I'm thinking, did'nt you know you were funky when you left your house?? (its only 10.00) and is this the place to sort yourself out??...smh. So finally she stops and things settle down for a while, then suddenly I hear a loud crunching sound mixed with the unwrapping of something...I look up.
Why? is now eating several large boiled sweets and it looks like she forgot to close her mouth...Folywang! I start staring at her on the sly thinking this chick is NOT serious, or maybe I've become part of a prank tv show. Either way I thought it was time to find another seat, luckily she left before I had a chance to. The cynical part of me thinks she came in to eat and stop the funky scent that was following her...kmt.
So I finally get back to the work that I really need to finish and soon enough Why?s' seat is filled by a guy. As I said my radar usually picks up on weird behaviour, but I did'nt really notice him until he insisited on blowing his nose for a good 2 minutes....continuously!! Everybody starts looking in our direction like they want to say something. I'm trying my best not to notice and even resort to putting my ipod on to drown the sound out, but this guy was relentless! Even the sounds of Roisin Murphy (who I'm lovin btw!) could'nt stop him. I mean what happened to silence in the library!!
Oh yeah then there was a grown ass man who I noticed stealing a leaf...yes you read it right, a leaf?! I swear I was so confused, he looked like an average guy too. He just came in, ripped the leaf from the stem put it in his backpack and left.
This is just another example that the end is near.
Anyways I'm going to keep this short and get back to some serious work.
SistaLova
Peace.
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Sunday, June 03, 2007
Why Must I Cry no. 1
I've realised that ALOT of things generally annoy, make me shake my head in disgust or leave me in a state of shock. So ive decided to make a daily note of those things on this blog. This radom ranting will be entitled..."why must I cry". The title itself was inspired by a young man called Reh Dogg, I think you'll agree that he should be on your list too.
Why must I cry
Please note the description Reh dogg has provided to help you futher understand this follywang that is his video.
Why must I cry
Please note the description Reh dogg has provided to help you futher understand this follywang that is his video.
Saturday, May 05, 2007
Monday, April 30, 2007
101 Ways To Annoy People...
A friend sent me this......... so I decided to post it for you guys
1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."
3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."
5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
6. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen. <
7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.
8. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
9. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub".
10. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies.
11. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
12. Sniffle incessantly.
13. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
14. Name your dog "Dog."
15. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
16. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
17. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."
18. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace".
19. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."
20. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with Lysol.
21. Practice making fax and modem noises.
22. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss.
23. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
24. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
25. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person."
26. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with the prophesy."
27. Wear a special hip holster for yourremote control.
28. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.
29. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
30. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
31. Give a play-by-play account of a persons every action in a nasal Howard Cosell voice.
32. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
33. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
34. Drum on every available surface.
35. Staple papers in the middle of the page.
36. Ask 1-800 operators for dates.
37. Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copyright warnings.
38. Sew anti-theft detector stripsinto peoples backpacks.
39. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.
40. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.
41. Set alarms for random times.
42. Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.
43. Instead of Gallo, serve Night Train next Thanksgiving.
44. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.
45. Honk and wave to strangers.
46. Dress only in clothes colored Hunters Orange.
47. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.
48. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.
49. Wear your pants backwards.
50. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.
51. Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"
52. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
53. only type in lowercase.
54. dont use any punctuation either
55. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
56. Pay for your dinner with pennies.
57. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.
58. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
59. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps.
60. Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ O.J Simpson conspiracy theories.
61. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, its gone now."
62. Light road flares on a birthday cake.
63. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.
64. Leave tips in Bolivian currency.
65. Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador."
66. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.
67. When Christmas caroling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.
68. Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One."
69. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
70. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.
71. Pretend your computer's mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.
72. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
73. Drive half a block.
74. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.
75. Ask people what gender they are. 76. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back.
77. Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern drawl.
78. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes".
79. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers brains, such as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song.
80. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head. like a parakeet.
81. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.
82. Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.
83. Change your name to "AaJohn Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."
84. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
85. Chew on pens that you've borrowed.
86. Wear a LOT of cologne.
87. Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing."
88. Sing along at the opera.
89. Mow your lawn with scissors.
90. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!"
91. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend."
92. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
93. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."
94. Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture."
95. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.
96. Never make eye contact.
97. Never break eye contact.
98. Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.
99. Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, announcing the results. 100. Make appointments for the 31st of September.
101. Invite lots of people to other people's parties.
- SistaLova
1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."
3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."
5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
6. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen. <
7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.
8. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
9. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub".
10. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies.
11. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
12. Sniffle incessantly.
13. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
14. Name your dog "Dog."
15. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
16. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
17. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."
18. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace".
19. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."
20. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with Lysol.
21. Practice making fax and modem noises.
22. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss.
23. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
24. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
25. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person."
26. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with the prophesy."
27. Wear a special hip holster for yourremote control.
28. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.
29. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
30. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
31. Give a play-by-play account of a persons every action in a nasal Howard Cosell voice.
32. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
33. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
34. Drum on every available surface.
35. Staple papers in the middle of the page.
36. Ask 1-800 operators for dates.
37. Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copyright warnings.
38. Sew anti-theft detector stripsinto peoples backpacks.
39. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.
40. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.
41. Set alarms for random times.
42. Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.
43. Instead of Gallo, serve Night Train next Thanksgiving.
44. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.
45. Honk and wave to strangers.
46. Dress only in clothes colored Hunters Orange.
47. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.
48. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.
49. Wear your pants backwards.
50. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.
51. Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"
52. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
53. only type in lowercase.
54. dont use any punctuation either
55. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
56. Pay for your dinner with pennies.
57. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.
58. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
59. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps.
60. Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ O.J Simpson conspiracy theories.
61. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, its gone now."
62. Light road flares on a birthday cake.
63. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.
64. Leave tips in Bolivian currency.
65. Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador."
66. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.
67. When Christmas caroling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.
68. Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One."
69. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
70. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.
71. Pretend your computer's mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.
72. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
73. Drive half a block.
74. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.
75. Ask people what gender they are. 76. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back.
77. Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern drawl.
78. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes".
79. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers brains, such as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song.
80. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head. like a parakeet.
81. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.
82. Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.
83. Change your name to "AaJohn Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."
84. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
85. Chew on pens that you've borrowed.
86. Wear a LOT of cologne.
87. Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing."
88. Sing along at the opera.
89. Mow your lawn with scissors.
90. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!"
91. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend."
92. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
93. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."
94. Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture."
95. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.
96. Never make eye contact.
97. Never break eye contact.
98. Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.
99. Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, announcing the results. 100. Make appointments for the 31st of September.
101. Invite lots of people to other people's parties.
- SistaLova
Monday, April 23, 2007
A Lifetime, Reason, Or A Season
Its said that people you come across throughout your life can fall into three categories: A lifetime, Reason, or a Season.
Someone with only a reason for being in your life
Is there to provide you with guidance or support,
Help you physically, mentally, or spiritually.
Or show you how to appreciate life
And what or who you have in it.
When their time with you is over,
They’ll continue on their way.
Time with you was meant to be brief,
There’s nothing you can do or say.
A seasonal being is there to teach you an important lesson,
About yourself or about life.
They can bring you joy or pain,
And an experience you’ve yet to encounter before them.
But just as life begins to bud on trees in Spring,
And vibrantly swaying in the warm breeze of Summer,
Then fading slowing in beauty while dangling in the Autumn,
And and finally dying off in Winter
The person ends their time with you,
Sometimes without notice or reason.
Ending your relationship forever,
Because they were only there for a season.
Lifetime people teach lifetime lessons
Throughout your time on earth.
These are people that you love unconditionally,
Who you try trust undeniably,
And who you accept,
Flaws and all.
- SistaLova & ED
Someone with only a reason for being in your life
Is there to provide you with guidance or support,
Help you physically, mentally, or spiritually.
Or show you how to appreciate life
And what or who you have in it.
When their time with you is over,
They’ll continue on their way.
Time with you was meant to be brief,
There’s nothing you can do or say.
A seasonal being is there to teach you an important lesson,
About yourself or about life.
They can bring you joy or pain,
And an experience you’ve yet to encounter before them.
But just as life begins to bud on trees in Spring,
And vibrantly swaying in the warm breeze of Summer,
Then fading slowing in beauty while dangling in the Autumn,
And and finally dying off in Winter
The person ends their time with you,
Sometimes without notice or reason.
Ending your relationship forever,
Because they were only there for a season.
Lifetime people teach lifetime lessons
Throughout your time on earth.
These are people that you love unconditionally,
Who you try trust undeniably,
And who you accept,
Flaws and all.
- SistaLova & ED
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
From The Old Book...
When all that I am deserves so much more
Each breath taken was for you...not any more
Wanting so much
For you to be meant for me
But deep inside I’ve come to realise
Your love could never be mine
Hoping and longing
That one day you’ll up and leave
Leave her for me
But now I see that was only in my dreams
God I know was wrong
Forgive me Lord because now I see
I don’t need his second hand love to set me free.
- Soul_Full
Each breath taken was for you...not any more
Wanting so much
For you to be meant for me
But deep inside I’ve come to realise
Your love could never be mine
Hoping and longing
That one day you’ll up and leave
Leave her for me
But now I see that was only in my dreams
God I know was wrong
Forgive me Lord because now I see
I don’t need his second hand love to set me free.
- Soul_Full
Thursday, March 22, 2007
Guys and Girls!!!
Why do girls go to the toilet in twos?
Why do guys say they’ll call you back but never do?
Why do girls take so long to get ready?
Why are guys so paranoid?
Why are girls so paranoid?
Why are guys so persistent? You’ve said ‘no’ 1000 times but he’s still the top person in your received and missed call log.
Why do girls give mixed signals?
Why do guys like sex so much?
Why do girls like shopping so much?
Why do guys cheat?
Why do girls stay with guys that cheat?
Why do guys ask if they’re the best you’ve had?
Why do girls pretend to be something they’re not?
Why do ugly guys get really good looking girls?
Why are there more and more guys ‘coming out’?
Why do girls insist on wearing ‘crispy’ weaves?
Why are guys obsessed with the gym?
Why are girls getting more tattoos?
Why do guys wait for girls to show interest before making a move?
Why is that when girls see a guy they like, or a guy they want, he’s hooked up?
Why do guys insist on wearing their Bluetooth? (When they’re not in their car or even when there’s no reception in a venue).
Why do girls get angry when they are approached by a guy in a rave? (*correction: why do girls who wear revealing/skimpy clothes get angry when they are approached by a guy in a rave?)
Why do guys……..?
Why do girls……..?
This list could go on forever, there are many things that baffle me about guys, and I can imagine how many things baffle guys about girls. Just another post to add to the collection. Check out www.afrodivas.blogspot.com.
Why do guys say they’ll call you back but never do?
Why do girls take so long to get ready?
Why are guys so paranoid?
Why are girls so paranoid?
Why are guys so persistent? You’ve said ‘no’ 1000 times but he’s still the top person in your received and missed call log.
Why do girls give mixed signals?
Why do guys like sex so much?
Why do girls like shopping so much?
Why do guys cheat?
Why do girls stay with guys that cheat?
Why do guys ask if they’re the best you’ve had?
Why do girls pretend to be something they’re not?
Why do ugly guys get really good looking girls?
Why are there more and more guys ‘coming out’?
Why do girls insist on wearing ‘crispy’ weaves?
Why are guys obsessed with the gym?
Why are girls getting more tattoos?
Why do guys wait for girls to show interest before making a move?
Why is that when girls see a guy they like, or a guy they want, he’s hooked up?
Why do guys insist on wearing their Bluetooth? (When they’re not in their car or even when there’s no reception in a venue).
Why do girls get angry when they are approached by a guy in a rave? (*correction: why do girls who wear revealing/skimpy clothes get angry when they are approached by a guy in a rave?)
Why do guys……..?
Why do girls……..?
This list could go on forever, there are many things that baffle me about guys, and I can imagine how many things baffle guys about girls. Just another post to add to the collection. Check out www.afrodivas.blogspot.com.
Thursday, March 15, 2007
Random Thoughts
WOW! A month long hiatus, where have the AfroDivas been? Really and truly guys, I have no explanation... I've just been busy... so back to our scheduled posts... lets get stuck in!!
Going on holiday. Lol. Yes I know, when am I ever not going anywhere. Going to the Big Apple, I don't know, I've always felt like there's something there for me. Grass isn't greener on the other side but I'm just hoping that in this case it is. No, I'm not a sell out, I'm just trying to find a better future for myself. This might just be my chance, if it doesn't work out, then that's fine. I just don't want to look back and think about what could've been.
I'm gone for three weeks this time, not sure how everyone will be when I come back. 'Work girl' from Random Thoughts 2 might think I've gone completely off the rails this time. LOL. IDIOT!!
I cut my hair off, for no reason at all this time. Just wanted a change! Now I wish I hadn't gone so drastic. Have you ever realised that when you want to do something or when you really want something you don't see anyone with it, but as soon as you do that 'said thing' it sems like the whole world has done it too.
I cut my hair, left the salon, went to meet my friend and practically every girl I saw had short hair. SHITE!! How can I look different? Went back again the next week and shaved off the left side .... COMPLETELY!! I hate looking like everyone else, I hate looking like the token black girl, but that has changed now because I actually do look different. It'll grow out, it's all a matter of time. I like it, my mum preferred the 'cut' I first had and my dad. Lol!! Let's just say he wasn't too pleased - but he knows the type of daughter he has. I'm not crazy like Britney!!
OK. I just have to add this quickly because if I don't, I'll forget. Basically, as my name is Gabrielle to you readers, I'm known to others as Alesha!! Don't ask, I didn't go round introducing myself as Alesha, it's all because of 'the Wood', my good friend started it all and since then it's just stuck. So, anyway the debate is whether it was 'badmind', 'dodgy' for Mike to have slept with Alesha. Background story is that Mike liked Alesha, and Alesha liked Mike (secretly), they both lost their virginity to each other whilst they both had partners. Question is, do you think that's dodgy?
Well, yes I think it is dodgy because it's not good to cheat, but then again, Alesha and Mike were made for each other. It's crazy the way life works. They ended it with their partners as soon as they had slept with each other because obviously they knew they were both wasting their time with the other person. It's not easy to have a strong opinion on this topic because if I was Alesha, I would want to find happiness, but then again if I was Alesha's partner before Mike, I obviously wouldn't be pleased that I was pushed to the side because of another guy. It all depends on who you are in the scenario, if you are a 'Mike' or an 'Alesha', your life is blessed, if you're not.... you're pissed. I guess it's just a sign for you to move on. But what do you guys think, because I know some people that don't think there's a problem with sleeping with people that they know have a partner. To me, it's nasty, plays you off as desperate. To others, its just the norm. The world we live in ey!! The world we live in.
Thanks for reading guys, this is just a quick post, haven't returned to my usual 'post every day' self, but it's getting there.
- Gabrielle xx
Going on holiday. Lol. Yes I know, when am I ever not going anywhere. Going to the Big Apple, I don't know, I've always felt like there's something there for me. Grass isn't greener on the other side but I'm just hoping that in this case it is. No, I'm not a sell out, I'm just trying to find a better future for myself. This might just be my chance, if it doesn't work out, then that's fine. I just don't want to look back and think about what could've been.
I'm gone for three weeks this time, not sure how everyone will be when I come back. 'Work girl' from Random Thoughts 2 might think I've gone completely off the rails this time. LOL. IDIOT!!
I cut my hair off, for no reason at all this time. Just wanted a change! Now I wish I hadn't gone so drastic. Have you ever realised that when you want to do something or when you really want something you don't see anyone with it, but as soon as you do that 'said thing' it sems like the whole world has done it too.
I cut my hair, left the salon, went to meet my friend and practically every girl I saw had short hair. SHITE!! How can I look different? Went back again the next week and shaved off the left side .... COMPLETELY!! I hate looking like everyone else, I hate looking like the token black girl, but that has changed now because I actually do look different. It'll grow out, it's all a matter of time. I like it, my mum preferred the 'cut' I first had and my dad. Lol!! Let's just say he wasn't too pleased - but he knows the type of daughter he has. I'm not crazy like Britney!!
OK. I just have to add this quickly because if I don't, I'll forget. Basically, as my name is Gabrielle to you readers, I'm known to others as Alesha!! Don't ask, I didn't go round introducing myself as Alesha, it's all because of 'the Wood', my good friend started it all and since then it's just stuck. So, anyway the debate is whether it was 'badmind', 'dodgy' for Mike to have slept with Alesha. Background story is that Mike liked Alesha, and Alesha liked Mike (secretly), they both lost their virginity to each other whilst they both had partners. Question is, do you think that's dodgy?
Well, yes I think it is dodgy because it's not good to cheat, but then again, Alesha and Mike were made for each other. It's crazy the way life works. They ended it with their partners as soon as they had slept with each other because obviously they knew they were both wasting their time with the other person. It's not easy to have a strong opinion on this topic because if I was Alesha, I would want to find happiness, but then again if I was Alesha's partner before Mike, I obviously wouldn't be pleased that I was pushed to the side because of another guy. It all depends on who you are in the scenario, if you are a 'Mike' or an 'Alesha', your life is blessed, if you're not.... you're pissed. I guess it's just a sign for you to move on. But what do you guys think, because I know some people that don't think there's a problem with sleeping with people that they know have a partner. To me, it's nasty, plays you off as desperate. To others, its just the norm. The world we live in ey!! The world we live in.
Thanks for reading guys, this is just a quick post, haven't returned to my usual 'post every day' self, but it's getting there.
- Gabrielle xx
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
Feminism
It's been a while, I know, but I've been trying to understand my way of thought, I've been trying to delve into my past. My attitude towards men is like no other I've come across and the more and more I have those 'girly talks' with my compadres, the more I realise there's something wrong.
Yes, every girl has their 'I HATE GUYS' moment, its only natural, its only expected, those moments are needed, they teach us ways in which to interact with the opposite sex in the future. But as those 'moments' last just a week for some ladies, a few months for others, my moment has lasted for what seems like forever. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not tired of being independent, I actually love it, I'm doing things for myself that others have needed help for, I'm setting myself up for plush living in the future, I've got it all planned out.
Saying that, despite my future plans and despite the fact that to some other females I actually know what I want to do in life, (well, other than breed little rascals) I feel like I should be apologetic for my thoughts and my ways. I see the way my aunts look at me when they ask me about my boyfriend and I tell them 'who needs one... not me' lool, and the way my friends look at me when I say 'I want a seperate bed to my husband' lool... but that's just my way of thinking. When I say to my aunts I don't need a boyfriend, I'm being honest, I really don't need one, 'need' is such a strong word (adjective, noun, whatever it is) no one should ever need a partner, you may want one but you should never need one. What could a boyfriend do for me at this point in time but distract me from my desired goal and make me become dependant on him, oh ok, he could provide me with pleasure that lasts a WHOLE ONE MINUTE and for that I should be ever grateful... because that ONE MINUTE explains why I should need a man. I dont think so! I just feel like having a boyfriend would destroy my purpose, thats all, and for that I'm being called a feminist. Because I suggested separate beds for my husband and I, I'm called weird, lol, ok maybe it is a bit weird but I have my reasons... I like my space and I love my sleep, I dont want HIM all up in my face when I'm trying to sleep, neither do I want HIM taking the covers when room temp. is below normal, thats just my way of thinking. Sue me!
I don't know how long my chain of thought has been like this but it comes so naturally to me that I shudder to imagine how young I was when someone betrayed me, for something to create such an impact on my life that has lasted for a few yrs, it must've been something big. I mean everyone goes through their fair share of heartbreak but why did I take it so hard? I'm not the only one that has loved someone and they didn't love back, neither am I the only one that has been dumped (oh yeh I know, Gabrielle being dumped, lets not go there... it was the days when Gabrielle was still naive as hell... the innocent days), I know I'm not the only one that those things have happened to, so why are my thoughts today still a reflection of those things.
I have no love for man, this I realised recently, your physique I'm attracted to, your thoughts amuse me, your actions inspire me, all this yet I still don't have love for man. It scares me a little because if I carry on like this I wont have the opportunity to call someone 'my better half' or be able to love like never before, do you think I'll be bitter as a result? I know I'd be far less than happy. Maybe one day I'll look back and laugh at what my friends think is ignorance but as for now, Im not going to deny my new found label. Yes, I am a feminist, I do feel like I can do everything for myself and no, I'm not going to burn my bra because thats just stupid. One thing I will do... appreciate my thoughts because thats what makes me different.
Why try so hard to fit in when GOD made us this way so we could stand out?
- Gabrielle
Yes, every girl has their 'I HATE GUYS' moment, its only natural, its only expected, those moments are needed, they teach us ways in which to interact with the opposite sex in the future. But as those 'moments' last just a week for some ladies, a few months for others, my moment has lasted for what seems like forever. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not tired of being independent, I actually love it, I'm doing things for myself that others have needed help for, I'm setting myself up for plush living in the future, I've got it all planned out.
Saying that, despite my future plans and despite the fact that to some other females I actually know what I want to do in life, (well, other than breed little rascals) I feel like I should be apologetic for my thoughts and my ways. I see the way my aunts look at me when they ask me about my boyfriend and I tell them 'who needs one... not me' lool, and the way my friends look at me when I say 'I want a seperate bed to my husband' lool... but that's just my way of thinking. When I say to my aunts I don't need a boyfriend, I'm being honest, I really don't need one, 'need' is such a strong word (adjective, noun, whatever it is) no one should ever need a partner, you may want one but you should never need one. What could a boyfriend do for me at this point in time but distract me from my desired goal and make me become dependant on him, oh ok, he could provide me with pleasure that lasts a WHOLE ONE MINUTE and for that I should be ever grateful... because that ONE MINUTE explains why I should need a man. I dont think so! I just feel like having a boyfriend would destroy my purpose, thats all, and for that I'm being called a feminist. Because I suggested separate beds for my husband and I, I'm called weird, lol, ok maybe it is a bit weird but I have my reasons... I like my space and I love my sleep, I dont want HIM all up in my face when I'm trying to sleep, neither do I want HIM taking the covers when room temp. is below normal, thats just my way of thinking. Sue me!
I don't know how long my chain of thought has been like this but it comes so naturally to me that I shudder to imagine how young I was when someone betrayed me, for something to create such an impact on my life that has lasted for a few yrs, it must've been something big. I mean everyone goes through their fair share of heartbreak but why did I take it so hard? I'm not the only one that has loved someone and they didn't love back, neither am I the only one that has been dumped (oh yeh I know, Gabrielle being dumped, lets not go there... it was the days when Gabrielle was still naive as hell... the innocent days), I know I'm not the only one that those things have happened to, so why are my thoughts today still a reflection of those things.
I have no love for man, this I realised recently, your physique I'm attracted to, your thoughts amuse me, your actions inspire me, all this yet I still don't have love for man. It scares me a little because if I carry on like this I wont have the opportunity to call someone 'my better half' or be able to love like never before, do you think I'll be bitter as a result? I know I'd be far less than happy. Maybe one day I'll look back and laugh at what my friends think is ignorance but as for now, Im not going to deny my new found label. Yes, I am a feminist, I do feel like I can do everything for myself and no, I'm not going to burn my bra because thats just stupid. One thing I will do... appreciate my thoughts because thats what makes me different.
Why try so hard to fit in when GOD made us this way so we could stand out?
- Gabrielle
Sunday, January 07, 2007
Career over Children
Hey readers! New year, new start! Welcome back! This Christmas/New Year period has taken us divas away for a while, apologies. It had been so long since the last post that I thought it was about time something was written. I was unsure of what to write about as it is just the beginning of the year and nothing has happened, I was urged by a friend to talk about a topic that is starting to plague the minds of many ladies… especially me. So, I thought, why not talk about whether a woman can have a successful career and be able to look after her children at the same time. Here goes.
Basically, I think that women should go for gold, follow your dreams, try and be what you want to be - well, at least try and get your foot in the door. Why? Because I can guarantee you, I can place bets on this if I wanted to (I don’t gamble but I just needed to emphasise how strongly I feel about this), I can assure you that once a child comes into your life those dreams you once had are put on hold. Yes, you can go back to work after but it won’t ever be the same. If your choice of career is competitive, no company will wait for your return, yes, your job position will still be there, but keep in mind that during the time that you weren’t at work – you would’ve been replaced. Someone else would’ve shown hunger, dedication, commitment, someone else would’ve chosen their career over your choice of children. Someone else would’ve shown your company where their priority lies. Harsh, not really! It’s the real world, there are people that exist that know they definitely do not want children. And so in that same breath, the person that has ‘replaced’ you diminishes the demand for you to return and you go back to work thinking everything’s the same but its not. How do I know? My mum lives to tell the tale, scouted to be the next Naomi Campbell but was pregnant with me at the time, refused to work whilst pregnant and so gave up the opportunity of a lifetime. If I were her I would’ve jumped at the chance to be a model, pregnant or not. I mean who knows what my life would’ve been like now. I might have been one of those kids on MTV’s Super Sweet Sixteen. Oh! One can dream! On a more serious note, opportunities like that don’t come knocking every day, modelling is an extreme example, but being able to become something that you’ve dreamt of ever since you were in primary/secondary school, then having to put that dream on hold. I personally can’t do it. I’m not saying that it won’t happen, what I am saying is that I would prefer for it not to occur that way.
I have a simple plan. I would rather work my way to the top and find a comfortable position before I have kids. I would like to be established, find a permanent position in the firm of my choice, live in a comfortable home, drive a beautiful car, basically, achieve everything that I have dreamt of (before the husband and kids come into the scene anyway). Easier said than done. That goal could take me many years to achieve and then what, I become an old mother. NOPE! Not going to happen. Saying that, some women have regretted leaving children to the last minute, some even regretting choosing their career over the joy of having a child. Personally, I can’t imagine starting a career that I have studied and worked hard for only to fall pregnant and have my career put on hold. That phase scares me ‘put on hold’, I see too many women who put their dreams ‘on hold’, women who today are still convinced they can go back to their career when in fact they know they will never return, or women that honestly believe they can go back to work when the truth is, they cleared out your desk the moment you left them and haven’t looked back since. I guess it all depends on the type of person you are and what you feel you are capable of. I’m not doubting the fact that I wouldn’t be able to raise children, I’ve been around children my whole life, so I know its possible. I just think its an added obstacle that I wouldn't need. People might think that there is nothing wrong with that but as I said, it all depends on you as a person.
I think the only way I could have a child whilst I was working would be if my husband was a stay at home dad. I don't even want to delve in too deep about that subject but if you find a loving, caring and understanding partner who doesn't mind staying at home and looking after the kids whilst you're at work. Well, by all means go ahead. If the issue of you, as a woman, being the breadwinner is no issue in your house, then continue to work and provide for the household. Can women have a career and bring children up at the same time? It's possible, but prepare to go through the most demanding and stressful time of your life. This beats preparing a wedding, meeting the in-laws, buying or moving into a house by far. GOD SPEED! Whoever can handle that challenge, I applaud you because just thinking about it is enough to get me stressed.
- Gabrielle
Basically, I think that women should go for gold, follow your dreams, try and be what you want to be - well, at least try and get your foot in the door. Why? Because I can guarantee you, I can place bets on this if I wanted to (I don’t gamble but I just needed to emphasise how strongly I feel about this), I can assure you that once a child comes into your life those dreams you once had are put on hold. Yes, you can go back to work after but it won’t ever be the same. If your choice of career is competitive, no company will wait for your return, yes, your job position will still be there, but keep in mind that during the time that you weren’t at work – you would’ve been replaced. Someone else would’ve shown hunger, dedication, commitment, someone else would’ve chosen their career over your choice of children. Someone else would’ve shown your company where their priority lies. Harsh, not really! It’s the real world, there are people that exist that know they definitely do not want children. And so in that same breath, the person that has ‘replaced’ you diminishes the demand for you to return and you go back to work thinking everything’s the same but its not. How do I know? My mum lives to tell the tale, scouted to be the next Naomi Campbell but was pregnant with me at the time, refused to work whilst pregnant and so gave up the opportunity of a lifetime. If I were her I would’ve jumped at the chance to be a model, pregnant or not. I mean who knows what my life would’ve been like now. I might have been one of those kids on MTV’s Super Sweet Sixteen. Oh! One can dream! On a more serious note, opportunities like that don’t come knocking every day, modelling is an extreme example, but being able to become something that you’ve dreamt of ever since you were in primary/secondary school, then having to put that dream on hold. I personally can’t do it. I’m not saying that it won’t happen, what I am saying is that I would prefer for it not to occur that way.
I have a simple plan. I would rather work my way to the top and find a comfortable position before I have kids. I would like to be established, find a permanent position in the firm of my choice, live in a comfortable home, drive a beautiful car, basically, achieve everything that I have dreamt of (before the husband and kids come into the scene anyway). Easier said than done. That goal could take me many years to achieve and then what, I become an old mother. NOPE! Not going to happen. Saying that, some women have regretted leaving children to the last minute, some even regretting choosing their career over the joy of having a child. Personally, I can’t imagine starting a career that I have studied and worked hard for only to fall pregnant and have my career put on hold. That phase scares me ‘put on hold’, I see too many women who put their dreams ‘on hold’, women who today are still convinced they can go back to their career when in fact they know they will never return, or women that honestly believe they can go back to work when the truth is, they cleared out your desk the moment you left them and haven’t looked back since. I guess it all depends on the type of person you are and what you feel you are capable of. I’m not doubting the fact that I wouldn’t be able to raise children, I’ve been around children my whole life, so I know its possible. I just think its an added obstacle that I wouldn't need. People might think that there is nothing wrong with that but as I said, it all depends on you as a person.
I think the only way I could have a child whilst I was working would be if my husband was a stay at home dad. I don't even want to delve in too deep about that subject but if you find a loving, caring and understanding partner who doesn't mind staying at home and looking after the kids whilst you're at work. Well, by all means go ahead. If the issue of you, as a woman, being the breadwinner is no issue in your house, then continue to work and provide for the household. Can women have a career and bring children up at the same time? It's possible, but prepare to go through the most demanding and stressful time of your life. This beats preparing a wedding, meeting the in-laws, buying or moving into a house by far. GOD SPEED! Whoever can handle that challenge, I applaud you because just thinking about it is enough to get me stressed.
- Gabrielle
Sunday, December 17, 2006
Random Thoughts again...
There's a work christmas party coming up that I really want to go to but have nothing to wear. Friends are saying that they know I have something in the cupboard... but I really don't. It pisses me off that they're telling me to come and wear anything, when I know as soon as I walk in there I'm going to feel like the tramp of the ball. Do you think they give out awards for that, being tramp of the ball. They wouldnt need to anyway, I'd probably be able to tell by the way their eyes look upon my skinny jeans, ballet pumps and dressy top. KMT! You know thats what one girl said I should wear, as if STUPID is written on my forehead. I can just picture it now, everyone's scrubbed up good, the men in their suits and ties, the women in ballgowns and flowing dresses, then Gabrielle with her skinny jeans, ballet pumps and dressy top. I know my fashion sense is a bit quirky but even I wouldnt be able to pull that off.
UPDATE - I wore an LBD (little black dress), peer pressure is a bitch! I wore a dress, please take into consideration, I really really really don't like wearing dresses or skirts. No explanation for it, I just don't. So imagine my DISGUST when I walk into the xmas party (which is supposed to be a black tie event) and I see people wearing skinny jeans, trainers, baggy jeans, timberlands... oh I could go on. The first and last time I put myself out, don't ever compromise! I should've known that was going to happen, ah well, just a very big lesson for me.
I went on a little break last week, just to get away and get all my thoughts together. A much needed break because I thought I would have a nervous breakdown otherwise. So, I went on ths break, thinking I could clear my head and when I would come back everything would be ok. WRONG AGAIN. I hadn't thought about him in days, weeks even and there I was in a different part of the world and he appears in my dream. I couldn't sleep for hours, I seriously thought it was getting better, I thought I had conquered my feelings, but its true what they say, you can't tell your heart what to do, it follows its own beat. But you can imagine how PISSED I was, I mean, COME ON, get a grip. HE DOESNT LIKE YOU, HE'S GETTING ON WITH HIS LIFE, NOW CAN YOU PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE... GET ON WITH YOURS.
I went to a friends 21st birthday party the other day. OMG!! Can you say FLOP!! I felt so sorry for her because it was evident she had spent A LOT of money, lets just say maximum capacity was 600, why did max.70 people come. I even think I'm exaggerating the number a bit, picture that scene in your head, NOW... picture my face when I walked in. Best believe I wasnt happy. I left my warm house, braved the cold cold wind, made my feet suffer, 'cos they were cold... got in the venue and no-one was there. NOT IMPRESSED. I think what made it even worse was the fact that some NIGERIAN guy tried to dance with me, and dont get me wrong I have nothing against NIGERIANS... that's my heritage but I MEAN give me a break, he looked like someone my dad could know, actually scratch that he looks like someone my uncle would hang out with, (my uncle - my mums younger brother, not SO YOUNG though), he has a child of his own and is approaching mid 30's, now mid 30's is still by far quite young but in comparison to me, YUCK... makes me cringe, shudder, throw up... every single time I think about it.
Have you got someone at work, that is THIS CLOSE, to getting beaten up, shouted at or something. Well, there's this girl I work with, who I thought was cool but just isnt AT ALL. We knew each other before work, but you know when you can tell if someone likes you or not. Well, the 1st time I met this girl I could tell she didnt like me, I have this sense about things like that and I'm never wrong. And anyway, whats not to like about me, I guess she's just another hater. So anyway, it's like I forgot that this girl didn't like me and it's like I had amnesia about all the sly comments she used to make, we used to have a laugh at work and everything, I seriously forgot that this girl didn't like me, then the other day out of nowhere she tried to say 'I THINK I'M ALL THAT COS I WENT ON MY LITTLE TRIP, AND HOW I'VE CHANGED SINCE I CAME BACK'...baring that I went on my trip for 4 nights and 5 days, how much can you change in that period of time! Now I dont know about you, but she caught me straight off guard. I was ready to drop kick her arse, do the PEOPLE'S ELBOW, CHOKE HOLD or something (yes I do watch WWF, WWE whatever and I know they advise you not to try anything at home), but I was at work, and she got me that mad... you know when you get THAT MAD... that your whole body is confused, your thinking ten million things at once of how to hurt that person.... well that was me. I was so PISSED, it didn't even hurt my feelings, it hurt my soul, sad thing is I was ready to tell her about herself the next time I saw her at work but she's going away for christmas... I won't see her til the new year and I'm a Christian, I can't go into the new year holding a grudge, so I've had to forget about it. Very hard to do... 'cos even writing this now brings back some anger... its just all about deep breaths and repeating that 'SHE'S A HATER', cos if I dont do that, best believe there will be drama when I go back to work.
UPDATE - I've calmed down a lot since then, it's history to me now. Gabrielle has better things to worry about, not that there's something thats worrying me, but I'm just saying. There are other things I could spend my time fussing about... clothes, food, wondering how I'm going to lug my big suitcase back home, oh yes...my bank account, which is looking beautiful right now. NO LONGER BROKE! THANK YOU GOD!!
I'm going to be by myself for a few days next week, the roommates are all going back home but as my workplace requires my presence a few days longer, I have to stay before I can go home for Christmas. OH HOME... you take it for granted when you're there, but when you leave and don't go back for months on end as I have done, you miss it like... you miss it like... the way I miss ONE on ONE, or like the way I miss my beautiful room, the way I miss my secondary school and college days. Basically I miss it A LOT... and can't wait to go back.
I want to go away again, far away, the other side of the ocean. Am I selfish for not being content with where I live? Or is it just being greedy? I dont know. What I do know is that there's so many things to see in this world, and many of us are content with living in the same place, doing the same mundane routines, I can't do it. I get bored easily, its like Im itching to see new things, how the other side of the world operates. J'adore ma vie, ma famille et mes copains mais je n'aime pas le memes routines dans la vie, il y a beaucoup des choses dans la monde. Par l'annee prochaine, je veux voyager aux pays differents et peut-etre commence une nouvelle vie la-bas.
- Gabrielle
UPDATE - I wore an LBD (little black dress), peer pressure is a bitch! I wore a dress, please take into consideration, I really really really don't like wearing dresses or skirts. No explanation for it, I just don't. So imagine my DISGUST when I walk into the xmas party (which is supposed to be a black tie event) and I see people wearing skinny jeans, trainers, baggy jeans, timberlands... oh I could go on. The first and last time I put myself out, don't ever compromise! I should've known that was going to happen, ah well, just a very big lesson for me.
I went on a little break last week, just to get away and get all my thoughts together. A much needed break because I thought I would have a nervous breakdown otherwise. So, I went on ths break, thinking I could clear my head and when I would come back everything would be ok. WRONG AGAIN. I hadn't thought about him in days, weeks even and there I was in a different part of the world and he appears in my dream. I couldn't sleep for hours, I seriously thought it was getting better, I thought I had conquered my feelings, but its true what they say, you can't tell your heart what to do, it follows its own beat. But you can imagine how PISSED I was, I mean, COME ON, get a grip. HE DOESNT LIKE YOU, HE'S GETTING ON WITH HIS LIFE, NOW CAN YOU PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE... GET ON WITH YOURS.
I went to a friends 21st birthday party the other day. OMG!! Can you say FLOP!! I felt so sorry for her because it was evident she had spent A LOT of money, lets just say maximum capacity was 600, why did max.70 people come. I even think I'm exaggerating the number a bit, picture that scene in your head, NOW... picture my face when I walked in. Best believe I wasnt happy. I left my warm house, braved the cold cold wind, made my feet suffer, 'cos they were cold... got in the venue and no-one was there. NOT IMPRESSED. I think what made it even worse was the fact that some NIGERIAN guy tried to dance with me, and dont get me wrong I have nothing against NIGERIANS... that's my heritage but I MEAN give me a break, he looked like someone my dad could know, actually scratch that he looks like someone my uncle would hang out with, (my uncle - my mums younger brother, not SO YOUNG though), he has a child of his own and is approaching mid 30's, now mid 30's is still by far quite young but in comparison to me, YUCK... makes me cringe, shudder, throw up... every single time I think about it.
Have you got someone at work, that is THIS CLOSE, to getting beaten up, shouted at or something. Well, there's this girl I work with, who I thought was cool but just isnt AT ALL. We knew each other before work, but you know when you can tell if someone likes you or not. Well, the 1st time I met this girl I could tell she didnt like me, I have this sense about things like that and I'm never wrong. And anyway, whats not to like about me, I guess she's just another hater. So anyway, it's like I forgot that this girl didn't like me and it's like I had amnesia about all the sly comments she used to make, we used to have a laugh at work and everything, I seriously forgot that this girl didn't like me, then the other day out of nowhere she tried to say 'I THINK I'M ALL THAT COS I WENT ON MY LITTLE TRIP, AND HOW I'VE CHANGED SINCE I CAME BACK'...baring that I went on my trip for 4 nights and 5 days, how much can you change in that period of time! Now I dont know about you, but she caught me straight off guard. I was ready to drop kick her arse, do the PEOPLE'S ELBOW, CHOKE HOLD or something (yes I do watch WWF, WWE whatever and I know they advise you not to try anything at home), but I was at work, and she got me that mad... you know when you get THAT MAD... that your whole body is confused, your thinking ten million things at once of how to hurt that person.... well that was me. I was so PISSED, it didn't even hurt my feelings, it hurt my soul, sad thing is I was ready to tell her about herself the next time I saw her at work but she's going away for christmas... I won't see her til the new year and I'm a Christian, I can't go into the new year holding a grudge, so I've had to forget about it. Very hard to do... 'cos even writing this now brings back some anger... its just all about deep breaths and repeating that 'SHE'S A HATER', cos if I dont do that, best believe there will be drama when I go back to work.
UPDATE - I've calmed down a lot since then, it's history to me now. Gabrielle has better things to worry about, not that there's something thats worrying me, but I'm just saying. There are other things I could spend my time fussing about... clothes, food, wondering how I'm going to lug my big suitcase back home, oh yes...my bank account, which is looking beautiful right now. NO LONGER BROKE! THANK YOU GOD!!
I'm going to be by myself for a few days next week, the roommates are all going back home but as my workplace requires my presence a few days longer, I have to stay before I can go home for Christmas. OH HOME... you take it for granted when you're there, but when you leave and don't go back for months on end as I have done, you miss it like... you miss it like... the way I miss ONE on ONE, or like the way I miss my beautiful room, the way I miss my secondary school and college days. Basically I miss it A LOT... and can't wait to go back.
I want to go away again, far away, the other side of the ocean. Am I selfish for not being content with where I live? Or is it just being greedy? I dont know. What I do know is that there's so many things to see in this world, and many of us are content with living in the same place, doing the same mundane routines, I can't do it. I get bored easily, its like Im itching to see new things, how the other side of the world operates. J'adore ma vie, ma famille et mes copains mais je n'aime pas le memes routines dans la vie, il y a beaucoup des choses dans la monde. Par l'annee prochaine, je veux voyager aux pays differents et peut-etre commence une nouvelle vie la-bas.
- Gabrielle
Saturday, December 16, 2006
Happy Birthday To...Us!!
Hey people! Its been year since a truly fabolous, fly and very attractive group of people came to together to create "truths from da AfroDivas"!...(o.k I may of gone overboard, but we are fly!)
The aim was to give ourselves an outlet for all the crazy things that happen daily in our lives...I think I can speak for the AfroDivas when I say its been a very fun and interesting journey. We've laughed at ourselves, created a bit of controversy and revealed a few personal truths. Its been a great tool for me to express myself and regain my passion for writing.
I know i've said this before but sometimes I really cant believe anybody, apart from us, actually reads the stuff we post on here. But since we started 4,979 have passed through. Some of you even leaving comments (although a little more of those would'nt hurt! lol), but thanks it is appreciated. Hopefully we will have a few more stories to tell and experiences to laugh at!
Peace
- SistaLova
The aim was to give ourselves an outlet for all the crazy things that happen daily in our lives...I think I can speak for the AfroDivas when I say its been a very fun and interesting journey. We've laughed at ourselves, created a bit of controversy and revealed a few personal truths. Its been a great tool for me to express myself and regain my passion for writing.
I know i've said this before but sometimes I really cant believe anybody, apart from us, actually reads the stuff we post on here. But since we started 4,979 have passed through. Some of you even leaving comments (although a little more of those would'nt hurt! lol), but thanks it is appreciated. Hopefully we will have a few more stories to tell and experiences to laugh at!
Peace
- SistaLova
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
Another BruthaDiva session...
Don’t say ‘I love you’ first.
This kind of advice does nothing to help women. Although I had a friend once who told a guy that she loved him and his response was ‘thanks.’ Hearing "thanks" in response to "I love you" is NOT the end of the world. As adults, we need to understand that sometimes we have feelings for people that aren’t mutual and vice versa (dont get me wrong I would be a bit pissed too, lol).
If you tell someone that you love them, it should be because you actually feel that way, not because you expect them to feel the same way or to hear it in return. You definitely shouldn’t settle for a one-sided relationship, but if it’s sort of early into your relationship, give the person time. That’s where common sense comes in. "Love" is an action word so you will know if the man is falling for you (or if he isn’t interested) based on how he treats you.
Ladies,I wouldn’t suggest being aggressive but I hear some guys like that so to each his own! But holding back just because you fear rejection isn’t helpful either.
Myth 1: Men don’t know how to behave in a relationship. It is up to a woman to be patient and "teach" him how to treat her.
This theory only works in TV Land people. I know that we’ve all heard that you subconsciously teach someone how to treat you by what you accept (and don’t) from your boy/girlfriend. And I totally agree. However, a man knows whether or not he’s in a committed relationship.
- He will stop ‘getting jiggy’ with his ex
- He will call if he’s going to cancel a date
- Spending time with him and his friends does not = quality time for the two of you
- Collecting phone numbers & going on dates with other women is a no go area
And ladies don't be stupid and provide excuses like..."but this is his first serious relationship and he’s learning...blah blah blah"
Some dudes will try and play dumb but trust, he’s just trying to see what you’ll allow him to get away with.
Myth 2: Things may be a little rocky in the beginning, but things will change.
Not gonna happen. If you've just started seeing each other and he’s always "busy", giving you excuses as to why he can’t return your calls, or why he didnt make it to that meeting then two years from now things will be the same. If you continue to ignore the little things that irritate you at the beginning you cant really complain or try to change him later. Either accept it or find someone else who has time for you.
Myth 3: A man can completely fool you if you’re a victim.
How many women do you know that are or always completely blinded by men? Women are always talking about being used or cheated on by their men but there are always signs of "doginess"(is that a word??..lol) but its up to you if you chose to ignore them. For example if you've never seen where he lives and you've been together for 8 months...this is a clear red warning! lol
This doesn’t give your boyfriend the excuse to be a complete prick, neither does it mean you should be critical of everyone you meet. Its simple, common sense should be our guide.
Myth 4: A man should accept you for who you are.
Not necessarily. Are you the best you that you can be? Are you difficult? What is your character? How do you treat people in your life? In most circumstances you should be accepted for who you are, but not if you’re crazy. We can always better ourselves and sometimes it takes someone we love to do that.
Now I know a few people are going to have a problem with what I've said in todays session. So leave a comment and i'll tell you why your wrong...lol!
Peace
- BruthaDiva
This kind of advice does nothing to help women. Although I had a friend once who told a guy that she loved him and his response was ‘thanks.’ Hearing "thanks" in response to "I love you" is NOT the end of the world. As adults, we need to understand that sometimes we have feelings for people that aren’t mutual and vice versa (dont get me wrong I would be a bit pissed too, lol).
If you tell someone that you love them, it should be because you actually feel that way, not because you expect them to feel the same way or to hear it in return. You definitely shouldn’t settle for a one-sided relationship, but if it’s sort of early into your relationship, give the person time. That’s where common sense comes in. "Love" is an action word so you will know if the man is falling for you (or if he isn’t interested) based on how he treats you.
Ladies,I wouldn’t suggest being aggressive but I hear some guys like that so to each his own! But holding back just because you fear rejection isn’t helpful either.
Myth 1: Men don’t know how to behave in a relationship. It is up to a woman to be patient and "teach" him how to treat her.
This theory only works in TV Land people. I know that we’ve all heard that you subconsciously teach someone how to treat you by what you accept (and don’t) from your boy/girlfriend. And I totally agree. However, a man knows whether or not he’s in a committed relationship.
- He will stop ‘getting jiggy’ with his ex
- He will call if he’s going to cancel a date
- Spending time with him and his friends does not = quality time for the two of you
- Collecting phone numbers & going on dates with other women is a no go area
And ladies don't be stupid and provide excuses like..."but this is his first serious relationship and he’s learning...blah blah blah"
Some dudes will try and play dumb but trust, he’s just trying to see what you’ll allow him to get away with.
Myth 2: Things may be a little rocky in the beginning, but things will change.
Not gonna happen. If you've just started seeing each other and he’s always "busy", giving you excuses as to why he can’t return your calls, or why he didnt make it to that meeting then two years from now things will be the same. If you continue to ignore the little things that irritate you at the beginning you cant really complain or try to change him later. Either accept it or find someone else who has time for you.
Myth 3: A man can completely fool you if you’re a victim.
How many women do you know that are or always completely blinded by men? Women are always talking about being used or cheated on by their men but there are always signs of "doginess"(is that a word??..lol) but its up to you if you chose to ignore them. For example if you've never seen where he lives and you've been together for 8 months...this is a clear red warning! lol
This doesn’t give your boyfriend the excuse to be a complete prick, neither does it mean you should be critical of everyone you meet. Its simple, common sense should be our guide.
Myth 4: A man should accept you for who you are.
Not necessarily. Are you the best you that you can be? Are you difficult? What is your character? How do you treat people in your life? In most circumstances you should be accepted for who you are, but not if you’re crazy. We can always better ourselves and sometimes it takes someone we love to do that.
Now I know a few people are going to have a problem with what I've said in todays session. So leave a comment and i'll tell you why your wrong...lol!
Peace
- BruthaDiva
Monday, November 20, 2006
I'm not usually this girly...
A while ago I was suffering from "writers block" (like i always do!...lol) and a really good friend told me to write as if i was in love. I thought he was crazy, but it worked. Thanks "bruv"!
Today I poured my soul into the air . . .
Trying to compose words to describe exactly how I feel about you
I sat all morning trying to find a way to explain it . . .
And every time I thought I had it . . .
I realised that it was probably something you had heard before . . .
But, what I feel is different . . .
Words would be too weak to describe feelings this strong.
I've sat here trying to rearrange the fragments of my heart
Into something meaningful that you could wrap your mind around
You have to know that I have never experienced an emotion such as this
One that leaves me speechless
And all I can do is talk around it . . . and not about it
How can I possibly write down this emotion?
What language can really express the impression you have made upon me?
I've sat here trying to capture the phrases and sentences
That could get through to you how out of everybody in the world
You are the only person that has ever been necessary to me
I guess I could tell you that you're my first . . . my last . . .my best . . . my only
I guess I could say how I've known from the beginning that you are all I need . . .
How it was an overload of all my senses when I met you
How cupid didn't just hit me with one of his little arrows
But instead, hit me with a blast of knowledge that you were IT for me
And I KNEW . . .
And I still know . . .
Normally I would think this was impossible if it was'nt happening to me
This feeling is that powerful, that amazing, that strong, and that deep
To put it simply . . . I love you
And those are not just words
They are an expression, an oath, and a promise . . .
They are everything
And I hope and pray that they are enough.
- SistaLova
Today I poured my soul into the air . . .
Trying to compose words to describe exactly how I feel about you
I sat all morning trying to find a way to explain it . . .
And every time I thought I had it . . .
I realised that it was probably something you had heard before . . .
But, what I feel is different . . .
Words would be too weak to describe feelings this strong.
I've sat here trying to rearrange the fragments of my heart
Into something meaningful that you could wrap your mind around
You have to know that I have never experienced an emotion such as this
One that leaves me speechless
And all I can do is talk around it . . . and not about it
How can I possibly write down this emotion?
What language can really express the impression you have made upon me?
I've sat here trying to capture the phrases and sentences
That could get through to you how out of everybody in the world
You are the only person that has ever been necessary to me
I guess I could tell you that you're my first . . . my last . . .my best . . . my only
I guess I could say how I've known from the beginning that you are all I need . . .
How it was an overload of all my senses when I met you
How cupid didn't just hit me with one of his little arrows
But instead, hit me with a blast of knowledge that you were IT for me
And I KNEW . . .
And I still know . . .
Normally I would think this was impossible if it was'nt happening to me
This feeling is that powerful, that amazing, that strong, and that deep
To put it simply . . . I love you
And those are not just words
They are an expression, an oath, and a promise . . .
They are everything
And I hope and pray that they are enough.
- SistaLova
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
Random thoughts!
• I want to find him, I know he’s out there
• Why do people call you the most when you’re trying to sleep?
• I wanna move, I’m thinking Venice
• My younger siblings are growing up and I’m not around to see it
• I really love my mum. I think I would go crazy (literally) if anything
happened to her. God forbid.
• I’m broke!
• I think my best friend is going to get married before me
• I realised I have this instinct to want to please people even if it really
inconveniences me.
• I want chocolate, scratch that I just want some food. Been real hungry
recently.
• The relationship between my dad and I is becoming more and more distant by
the day. I could not talk to him for months and I wouldn’t feel anything. Is
that bad?
• I love my fellow AfroDivas, seriously! Imagine out of the 20yrs I’ve been on
this earth, its only a few months ago that I met ladies that complement my
views, people I feel really comfortable with.
• Is it weird for me to acknowledge when a girl is pretty? I dunno I just have
to look at them. I can’t help it. Lol.
• I can’t hold eye contact with people I truly care about. Guys that I like or
if I feel really guilty about something.
• You think people recognise how important I am when they see me – I mean do
people analyse how important you must be and respond to you on a scale of 1
to 10 (10 being the most important). When I feel some people talk to me like
I’m on scale 1.
• Ok I’m feeling sorry for myself now.
• I’m leaning towards the younger guys – am I a cradle snatcher? Lol. Oh well!
I don’t care, its better to get some than none at all.
• LMAO! Oh you know I ain’t getting none, AARGH my life. (B.F. Why are you
laughing at me?)
• My best friend thinks I’m gonna come out the closet soon.
• I like 2 guys at work, but I don’t know whether I really like them or I’m
trying to keep myself occupied.
• Thoughts of my ex disgusts me. I shudder when I think about me and him.
Why did I get in that relationship?
• You know I like you right – you just do certain things to annoy me. I know
you don’t like me like that, its something I’m going to have to deal with.
• I want a car. God provide me with a car – not no banger though. I want to
ride in style.
• You think we could really be like GIRLFRIENDS, you know that would be sooo
cool, like AARGH so cool. Even if we were still based here, but everyone
had their own thing going on. Life is but a dream.
• I could go on all day, I actually think too much. Back to my hustle,
studying and working.
• I need a sugar daddy! OK, change that to 'I would like', it's hard being so
independent.
- Gabrielle
• Why do people call you the most when you’re trying to sleep?
• I wanna move, I’m thinking Venice
• My younger siblings are growing up and I’m not around to see it
• I really love my mum. I think I would go crazy (literally) if anything
happened to her. God forbid.
• I’m broke!
• I think my best friend is going to get married before me
• I realised I have this instinct to want to please people even if it really
inconveniences me.
• I want chocolate, scratch that I just want some food. Been real hungry
recently.
• The relationship between my dad and I is becoming more and more distant by
the day. I could not talk to him for months and I wouldn’t feel anything. Is
that bad?
• I love my fellow AfroDivas, seriously! Imagine out of the 20yrs I’ve been on
this earth, its only a few months ago that I met ladies that complement my
views, people I feel really comfortable with.
• Is it weird for me to acknowledge when a girl is pretty? I dunno I just have
to look at them. I can’t help it. Lol.
• I can’t hold eye contact with people I truly care about. Guys that I like or
if I feel really guilty about something.
• You think people recognise how important I am when they see me – I mean do
people analyse how important you must be and respond to you on a scale of 1
to 10 (10 being the most important). When I feel some people talk to me like
I’m on scale 1.
• Ok I’m feeling sorry for myself now.
• I’m leaning towards the younger guys – am I a cradle snatcher? Lol. Oh well!
I don’t care, its better to get some than none at all.
• LMAO! Oh you know I ain’t getting none, AARGH my life. (B.F. Why are you
laughing at me?)
• My best friend thinks I’m gonna come out the closet soon.
• I like 2 guys at work, but I don’t know whether I really like them or I’m
trying to keep myself occupied.
• Thoughts of my ex disgusts me. I shudder when I think about me and him.
Why did I get in that relationship?
• You know I like you right – you just do certain things to annoy me. I know
you don’t like me like that, its something I’m going to have to deal with.
• I want a car. God provide me with a car – not no banger though. I want to
ride in style.
• You think we could really be like GIRLFRIENDS, you know that would be sooo
cool, like AARGH so cool. Even if we were still based here, but everyone
had their own thing going on. Life is but a dream.
• I could go on all day, I actually think too much. Back to my hustle,
studying and working.
• I need a sugar daddy! OK, change that to 'I would like', it's hard being so
independent.
- Gabrielle
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
Soon Come...
Hey people It been a while since I posted anything on here, and since a few of you like my other story "Untitled" I thought of writing another one...enjoy!
Rewinding the moments back to when I saw him earlier that day. He met me outside of my 2 p.m. chemistry lecture. At first I thought he was there waiting for someone else. I mean, he was one of the most "on point brothas" on campus and while I had my own selection of admirers, he was a cut above the rest. 6'3, a body carved straight out of the mold of an African warrior with skin as dark and edible as Godiva chocolates and the whitest teeth I think I'd ever seen on a human being...wow
and he was waiting there at the entrance of my class. For me.
"Hey Lauren," he said as I walked up to him.
"Hey Ashley," I replied using all the strength in my body to remain cool even though everything in me was shivering, right down to my liver.
"Can I walk you to your next class?"
*HELL YEAH!
"sure."
So we're walking and I'm looking at him on the sly, stealing pieces of his fine form to store away in my mind for those days when eye candy is lacking and I need a reminder of perfection.
I never imagined what would be happening roughly ten hours later.
we hadn't spoken much during the walk to class, mainly small talk about the weather and such. It was obvious to me that he was slightly challenged in the mental department. But eh, I was young and shallow and really didn't give a shit about his conversational skills. It was just nice being escorted across campus by one of the most sought after guys there. I was wearing him like a rapper wears ice around their neck, flaunting him in front of the females like he was ten carats. Just waiting for the girls to whisper among themselves about how big and flawless that diamond was on my arm.
Yeah, yeah...it was that ridiculous.
Anywhoo, after he walked me to my next class I didn't see him until later that evening. It was about 9 p.m and I was in my dorm room playing blackjack with the boys and the phone rang.
"Come, jam over at mine...i'll meet you downstairs to walk you over."
*Hmmm...I see, "jam" eh?
"O.K."
He had me pinned up against the wall and was kissing me like he had been locked up and hadnt seen a woman in years. The lighting was dim except for the lone street light casting a weak ray of light onto the space from about fifty yards away. His body was pushed up against mine. we were kissing feverishly, running our hands over each other like water, making sure to touch upon every inch of each other as we grasped, squeezed and caressed each other for what seemed like hours but was really only for a few minutes.
I heard a soft whimper, it sort of sounded like a wounded dog. My head was spinning and he wasn't letting me come up for air so I broke off the kiss with a gasp. I glanced up as his silhouette, wondering if that noise had come from him. But he simply showed me his perfect smile and said nothing.
We finally reached his dorm room and proceeded to undress each other, I heard the whimper again. It sounded like a dying dog or something, high and squeaky. Ashley's half dressed body started trembling around me, It scared the SHIT out of me. And unlike the first time this sound was LOUD, like it was a woman AND her dog getting stabbed multiple times. After a akward moment or two he whispered...
"sorry"
So Im staring at his 6'3, edible african warrior frame and wondering how he could sound like an elderly woman and her little poodle being chased by a killer when he "reaches" and how he managed to "reach" without anything happening. As we walked back to my dorm in complete silence I wonder if maybe I imagined it. Then I stole a look at him and saw his embarrassment and knew I hadn't. The next question in my mind was how exactly were we gonna act around each other.
uh, I found out the answer to that the next day.
So im in my last class of the day unable to concentrate as im still reflecting on last nights action or lack thereof. When my phone vibrates in my pocket...its a message from Chantel my longest and closet friend. Asking if we could meet up. I reply back telling her to meet me at The Set, our favourite spot. It had a cozy atmosphere, featured a mixture of different people and had great food. The perfect place to catch up on some girly gossip. Chantel knew everything about everybody and although she could use this to her advantage she didnt, it just was'nt in her to go behind peoples backs. I guess thats why we were so close I knew that she could always keep a secret.
After having a quick catch up of what our days were like, Chantel glanced at me with that look she had whenever she knew something I did'nt.
"what is it?"
"what exactly happened with you and Ashley last night?"
"huh?"
*how does she know?
"Ashley's been telling everyone about you becoming a freak when he hooked up with you"
"What!!"
I yelled so loud the waitress passing us dropped a customers order. Apparently that "lil' punk, screaming like a bitch when he reaches" had told everyone that he called and I came running. He also informed people that I begged him to sleep with me! can you believe this shit!
After explaining what really happened, Chantel pointed out that I had two options either confront him and expose him for the lying rat he was or simply ignore it. But the more I thought about the situation the angrier I grew. I mean this was my reputation at stake. What was a girl to do?
- SistaLova
Rewinding the moments back to when I saw him earlier that day. He met me outside of my 2 p.m. chemistry lecture. At first I thought he was there waiting for someone else. I mean, he was one of the most "on point brothas" on campus and while I had my own selection of admirers, he was a cut above the rest. 6'3, a body carved straight out of the mold of an African warrior with skin as dark and edible as Godiva chocolates and the whitest teeth I think I'd ever seen on a human being...wow
and he was waiting there at the entrance of my class. For me.
"Hey Lauren," he said as I walked up to him.
"Hey Ashley," I replied using all the strength in my body to remain cool even though everything in me was shivering, right down to my liver.
"Can I walk you to your next class?"
*HELL YEAH!
"sure."
So we're walking and I'm looking at him on the sly, stealing pieces of his fine form to store away in my mind for those days when eye candy is lacking and I need a reminder of perfection.
I never imagined what would be happening roughly ten hours later.
we hadn't spoken much during the walk to class, mainly small talk about the weather and such. It was obvious to me that he was slightly challenged in the mental department. But eh, I was young and shallow and really didn't give a shit about his conversational skills. It was just nice being escorted across campus by one of the most sought after guys there. I was wearing him like a rapper wears ice around their neck, flaunting him in front of the females like he was ten carats. Just waiting for the girls to whisper among themselves about how big and flawless that diamond was on my arm.
Yeah, yeah...it was that ridiculous.
Anywhoo, after he walked me to my next class I didn't see him until later that evening. It was about 9 p.m and I was in my dorm room playing blackjack with the boys and the phone rang.
"Come, jam over at mine...i'll meet you downstairs to walk you over."
*Hmmm...I see, "jam" eh?
"O.K."
He had me pinned up against the wall and was kissing me like he had been locked up and hadnt seen a woman in years. The lighting was dim except for the lone street light casting a weak ray of light onto the space from about fifty yards away. His body was pushed up against mine. we were kissing feverishly, running our hands over each other like water, making sure to touch upon every inch of each other as we grasped, squeezed and caressed each other for what seemed like hours but was really only for a few minutes.
I heard a soft whimper, it sort of sounded like a wounded dog. My head was spinning and he wasn't letting me come up for air so I broke off the kiss with a gasp. I glanced up as his silhouette, wondering if that noise had come from him. But he simply showed me his perfect smile and said nothing.
We finally reached his dorm room and proceeded to undress each other, I heard the whimper again. It sounded like a dying dog or something, high and squeaky. Ashley's half dressed body started trembling around me, It scared the SHIT out of me. And unlike the first time this sound was LOUD, like it was a woman AND her dog getting stabbed multiple times. After a akward moment or two he whispered...
"sorry"
So Im staring at his 6'3, edible african warrior frame and wondering how he could sound like an elderly woman and her little poodle being chased by a killer when he "reaches" and how he managed to "reach" without anything happening. As we walked back to my dorm in complete silence I wonder if maybe I imagined it. Then I stole a look at him and saw his embarrassment and knew I hadn't. The next question in my mind was how exactly were we gonna act around each other.
uh, I found out the answer to that the next day.
So im in my last class of the day unable to concentrate as im still reflecting on last nights action or lack thereof. When my phone vibrates in my pocket...its a message from Chantel my longest and closet friend. Asking if we could meet up. I reply back telling her to meet me at The Set, our favourite spot. It had a cozy atmosphere, featured a mixture of different people and had great food. The perfect place to catch up on some girly gossip. Chantel knew everything about everybody and although she could use this to her advantage she didnt, it just was'nt in her to go behind peoples backs. I guess thats why we were so close I knew that she could always keep a secret.
After having a quick catch up of what our days were like, Chantel glanced at me with that look she had whenever she knew something I did'nt.
"what is it?"
"what exactly happened with you and Ashley last night?"
"huh?"
*how does she know?
"Ashley's been telling everyone about you becoming a freak when he hooked up with you"
"What!!"
I yelled so loud the waitress passing us dropped a customers order. Apparently that "lil' punk, screaming like a bitch when he reaches" had told everyone that he called and I came running. He also informed people that I begged him to sleep with me! can you believe this shit!
After explaining what really happened, Chantel pointed out that I had two options either confront him and expose him for the lying rat he was or simply ignore it. But the more I thought about the situation the angrier I grew. I mean this was my reputation at stake. What was a girl to do?
- SistaLova
Sunday, November 05, 2006
A Letter to You...
Men are so immature, NO for real! I can't believe I swooned over this guy, pictured a future with him and now this guy won't even talk to me. See... it's for this reason that I don't find fault with lesbians. Yes, I know, I don't support it but I can understand why a perfectly beautiful woman would choose to fall in the arms of a heavy set, well built woman than the defined arms of a man.
My theory of older guys not being as much hassle as younger guys has since been thrown out the window. A good 4 yrs older than me but I feel like I'm dealing with someone with the same mindset as those HYPE boys I once knew in college. The trend nowadays is the 'younger' guy and having previously touched on this subject I came to the conclusion that I couldn't do it but recent events have made me feel a lot differently specially since one of my younger cousin's friedns is totally cute, (so many candidates) - just not sure of their young feeble minds. But at this point talking to them seems more productive than talking to HIM.
Argh, he gets me so riled up sometimes 'cos I wasted valuable time thinking about our prospects, seeking advice from others about what I should do. I shoulda known when my best friend said, 'he's a wasteman' to stay clear. And don't start getting judgemental, my 'b.f.' says everyone is a wasteman, he doesn't want me to be with anyone, just as a father or brother doesnt want their female relative to come across the opposite sex in fear of all the things they did to other girls coming back to them indirectly with the mistreatment of their 'girl'. It's all irony anyway, 'what goes around comes around.'
So I haven't spoken to this fool for 2 weeks now, and yes I'm pissed, I have a reason to be angry. You know what it feels like, it feels like that friend you used to ALWAYS defend when people used to bitch about her but then ends up turning against you with the rest of your clique.
It feels exactly like that, it feels like 'why the hell did I speak to you in the first place, why on God's green earth did I think we could be friends, why... even after my 'b.f.' had died you down (dismissed your existence) I decided to relate to you anyway.'
For you to f***ing do this and go on like I did you something. If anything, there's no reason why you shouldn't be talking to me. You know what, you're DUMB! You're actually an IDIOT, and I hope you read this. Do you know how I worked my butt off calling round, making sure everything was set for your event, taking time out of my learning schedule to help your sorry arse. I didn't ask you to come to my uni, HELL why did you come?
All I know is, I've been distressed, distraught because I was upset about you not talking to me. I actually felt upset, that's just the 'kindness' in me, I won't ever make that mistake again.
I hadn't seen or spoken to you for years before we bumped into each other again so it doesn't really pay no importance to me if that night I saw you was the last time for the rest of my life. Feed off that MORON!
Why couldn't you voice what was bothering you? Why couldn't you show me that you weren't happy about what happened. I mean even I wasn't happy. But there you were tryna act like a HARD man, when you know the fact that the event didn't turn out the way you planned it BURNT you. It even BURNT ME, but you're gonna try and lay blame on me and you don't even have the decency to tell me that's the way you feel. You can pretend like thats not what is going on, but as I always say 'mama didn't raise no fool', from 10+ calls every evening discussing the event and everything else to 0 calls the night of the event, for 2 weeks now. Nah, I'm not stupid.
But anyway go on with your bad self, I realise that you didn't really know me, 'cos if you did you would know crying, sulking, tantrums don't make me sympathise with you. Coming to me as a bigger person and telling me what's going on in your head makes me respect you. More fool you if you think after writing this I'm gonna acknowledge you, you don't exist to me no more.
Have a nice life.
- Gabrielle
I know it's heated readers but this was holding me back from being myself, I just needed to let this steam off, I was acting 'too cool for school', letting all this mess get to me. Never again.
Readers, I'm back. And if I ever, ever try to go soft on you guys again, let me know, it's time I turned the tables... for every person that upset you, ever made you feel like you were lower than them, just ever made you start tripping... well, this letter goes out to them.
Kiss my fabulous arse 'cos you are NEVER going to make me feel like that again.
UPDATE
I wrote this and spoke to him like 2 days after, HE was going on like nothing happened, when I know it did. I wasn't even going to publish this post because infact I did speak to him, and that would contradict everything I wrote in the letter, but I've decided to post it because despite the fact that we spoke, we're still not cool and that letter allowed me to vent, I didn't know I was this angry 'til I read the letter back. NOW... I'm not angry anymore, it's just one of those things... this will be a lesson to me though.
My kindness will be taken for weakness, that's life - there's nothing I can do about it. Just because of this one incident I can't stop being nice, one day someone is really going to need it, and they will appreciate it, so until then imma have to keep being nice... as I said 'its just one of those things.'
My theory of older guys not being as much hassle as younger guys has since been thrown out the window. A good 4 yrs older than me but I feel like I'm dealing with someone with the same mindset as those HYPE boys I once knew in college. The trend nowadays is the 'younger' guy and having previously touched on this subject I came to the conclusion that I couldn't do it but recent events have made me feel a lot differently specially since one of my younger cousin's friedns is totally cute, (so many candidates) - just not sure of their young feeble minds. But at this point talking to them seems more productive than talking to HIM.
Argh, he gets me so riled up sometimes 'cos I wasted valuable time thinking about our prospects, seeking advice from others about what I should do. I shoulda known when my best friend said, 'he's a wasteman' to stay clear. And don't start getting judgemental, my 'b.f.' says everyone is a wasteman, he doesn't want me to be with anyone, just as a father or brother doesnt want their female relative to come across the opposite sex in fear of all the things they did to other girls coming back to them indirectly with the mistreatment of their 'girl'. It's all irony anyway, 'what goes around comes around.'
So I haven't spoken to this fool for 2 weeks now, and yes I'm pissed, I have a reason to be angry. You know what it feels like, it feels like that friend you used to ALWAYS defend when people used to bitch about her but then ends up turning against you with the rest of your clique.
It feels exactly like that, it feels like 'why the hell did I speak to you in the first place, why on God's green earth did I think we could be friends, why... even after my 'b.f.' had died you down (dismissed your existence) I decided to relate to you anyway.'
For you to f***ing do this and go on like I did you something. If anything, there's no reason why you shouldn't be talking to me. You know what, you're DUMB! You're actually an IDIOT, and I hope you read this. Do you know how I worked my butt off calling round, making sure everything was set for your event, taking time out of my learning schedule to help your sorry arse. I didn't ask you to come to my uni, HELL why did you come?
All I know is, I've been distressed, distraught because I was upset about you not talking to me. I actually felt upset, that's just the 'kindness' in me, I won't ever make that mistake again.
I hadn't seen or spoken to you for years before we bumped into each other again so it doesn't really pay no importance to me if that night I saw you was the last time for the rest of my life. Feed off that MORON!
Why couldn't you voice what was bothering you? Why couldn't you show me that you weren't happy about what happened. I mean even I wasn't happy. But there you were tryna act like a HARD man, when you know the fact that the event didn't turn out the way you planned it BURNT you. It even BURNT ME, but you're gonna try and lay blame on me and you don't even have the decency to tell me that's the way you feel. You can pretend like thats not what is going on, but as I always say 'mama didn't raise no fool', from 10+ calls every evening discussing the event and everything else to 0 calls the night of the event, for 2 weeks now. Nah, I'm not stupid.
But anyway go on with your bad self, I realise that you didn't really know me, 'cos if you did you would know crying, sulking, tantrums don't make me sympathise with you. Coming to me as a bigger person and telling me what's going on in your head makes me respect you. More fool you if you think after writing this I'm gonna acknowledge you, you don't exist to me no more.
Have a nice life.
- Gabrielle
I know it's heated readers but this was holding me back from being myself, I just needed to let this steam off, I was acting 'too cool for school', letting all this mess get to me. Never again.
Readers, I'm back. And if I ever, ever try to go soft on you guys again, let me know, it's time I turned the tables... for every person that upset you, ever made you feel like you were lower than them, just ever made you start tripping... well, this letter goes out to them.
Kiss my fabulous arse 'cos you are NEVER going to make me feel like that again.
UPDATE
I wrote this and spoke to him like 2 days after, HE was going on like nothing happened, when I know it did. I wasn't even going to publish this post because infact I did speak to him, and that would contradict everything I wrote in the letter, but I've decided to post it because despite the fact that we spoke, we're still not cool and that letter allowed me to vent, I didn't know I was this angry 'til I read the letter back. NOW... I'm not angry anymore, it's just one of those things... this will be a lesson to me though.
My kindness will be taken for weakness, that's life - there's nothing I can do about it. Just because of this one incident I can't stop being nice, one day someone is really going to need it, and they will appreciate it, so until then imma have to keep being nice... as I said 'its just one of those things.'
Thursday, October 26, 2006
Emotional makeovers
OK. New start, new attitude, new clothes! LOL!! I wish. But anyway less about me, I read in ELLE (if you don’t know this about me I’m an avid ELLE reader, the thrills and excitement of fashion still calls me to this day.) Back to what I was saying, I read in ELLE that when a woman is getting over a break-up, basic instincts is to cut her hair off. They said that a woman can make herself over emotionally and physically (even her wardrobe) but cutting her hair makes it more drastic, makes it seem like she really is taking control of her life. Some women want to physically show their exes that they have moved on, you could have matured, even changed your sense of style but nothing shouts ‘I’m over you’ like a drastic new haircut.
As I read this I started laughing, I mean come to think of it most girls I know that cut their hair just got out of a break-up or out of something that affected their lives drastically. Then I analysed why I cut my hair and NO, it wasn’t because I had broken up with my boyfriend. I cut my hair because I was turning 18 and wanted a new look, I wanted to look mature.
I can recall the events like it was yesterday:
I’d been thinking about cutting my hair for a while, I wasn’t pleased with my appearance and I felt like I looked like any other regular black chick. I thought a 'cut' would solve the problem and so proceeded with that plan. Went to the hairdressers and she carried out my request, all I kept hearing was gasps and ‘oh my gosh’ but I need to describe what I felt. It felt like an out of body experience, no joke, when my hair was falling to the floor I felt no anxiety. I felt at peace when my hair was being cut, it was so surreal. I felt like the ‘old’ me was dying away with every strand of hair that was being cut. Like I was a new person, I looked and felt like a totally different person. All in my state of mind ergo but it didn’t matter, it was my re-birth!
Ever since that day I haven’t looked back, I had a few wild moments that I will take to my grave. It gave me a confidence I never knew was in me, I mean before I used to hide behind my hair, having the short hair meant I couldn’t hide behind anything, my face was out there. I wasn’t extremely quiet but you know how it is, sometimes you just don’t feel like talking but that all changed… I learnt how to interact.
As much as the short cut made me feel liberated, it brought out a side of me I’d rather keep locked inside. I cheated on my then boyfriend, I met up with a guy that I’d known for literally 10 seconds and had a rather steamy rendezvous- lets not get into that.
It’s like I became one of those girls who are on ‘lock’ for many years then when they go off to uni they turn wild, the difference with me is that my living arrangements never changed, nothing changed except my outlook on life. I mean it wasn’t a drastic change, but it was a change. The compliments about my new look, the attention I was getting, the extended freedom I had… all went to my head.
So anyway, I got home that night and my mum was extremely angry with me but I didn’t care, I really didn’t. I was on this high, its unexplainable!
Then my house phone rang, my mum told me it was my 'then' boyfriend, so I was excited. I was going to tell him that I cut my hair and how I hoped he wouldn’t be angry with me. I was just going to share my basic feelings with him as I always did but before I could even say any of that… he broke up with me.
BUMMER!!
Technically, I had cut my hair before he broke up with me so it didn’t count as a repercussion of his actions, but that drastic move made it easier for me to get on with my life. In a way I knew it wasn’t going to work, cutting my hair was just a sign of things to come.
- Gabrielle
As I read this I started laughing, I mean come to think of it most girls I know that cut their hair just got out of a break-up or out of something that affected their lives drastically. Then I analysed why I cut my hair and NO, it wasn’t because I had broken up with my boyfriend. I cut my hair because I was turning 18 and wanted a new look, I wanted to look mature.
I can recall the events like it was yesterday:
I’d been thinking about cutting my hair for a while, I wasn’t pleased with my appearance and I felt like I looked like any other regular black chick. I thought a 'cut' would solve the problem and so proceeded with that plan. Went to the hairdressers and she carried out my request, all I kept hearing was gasps and ‘oh my gosh’ but I need to describe what I felt. It felt like an out of body experience, no joke, when my hair was falling to the floor I felt no anxiety. I felt at peace when my hair was being cut, it was so surreal. I felt like the ‘old’ me was dying away with every strand of hair that was being cut. Like I was a new person, I looked and felt like a totally different person. All in my state of mind ergo but it didn’t matter, it was my re-birth!
Ever since that day I haven’t looked back, I had a few wild moments that I will take to my grave. It gave me a confidence I never knew was in me, I mean before I used to hide behind my hair, having the short hair meant I couldn’t hide behind anything, my face was out there. I wasn’t extremely quiet but you know how it is, sometimes you just don’t feel like talking but that all changed… I learnt how to interact.
As much as the short cut made me feel liberated, it brought out a side of me I’d rather keep locked inside. I cheated on my then boyfriend, I met up with a guy that I’d known for literally 10 seconds and had a rather steamy rendezvous- lets not get into that.
It’s like I became one of those girls who are on ‘lock’ for many years then when they go off to uni they turn wild, the difference with me is that my living arrangements never changed, nothing changed except my outlook on life. I mean it wasn’t a drastic change, but it was a change. The compliments about my new look, the attention I was getting, the extended freedom I had… all went to my head.
So anyway, I got home that night and my mum was extremely angry with me but I didn’t care, I really didn’t. I was on this high, its unexplainable!
Then my house phone rang, my mum told me it was my 'then' boyfriend, so I was excited. I was going to tell him that I cut my hair and how I hoped he wouldn’t be angry with me. I was just going to share my basic feelings with him as I always did but before I could even say any of that… he broke up with me.
BUMMER!!
Technically, I had cut my hair before he broke up with me so it didn’t count as a repercussion of his actions, but that drastic move made it easier for me to get on with my life. In a way I knew it wasn’t going to work, cutting my hair was just a sign of things to come.
- Gabrielle
Monday, October 02, 2006
The Art of Maintaining Eye Contact
Specialist: SistaHood
Guinea Pigs: Gabrielle
SistaLova
The aim of this experiment is to see how far eye contact can carry you.
The eye contact theory according to SistaHood is one that conjures up a certain confidence between both parties to take that extra step and talk to each other, this goes against the many times you have seen a ‘potential’ and just let him/her walk pass.
As I was supposed to be ‘chirspin the man dem’ and yet haven’t come across a potential, I have mastered the art of flirtatious chat with practically any guy I come across. Whether it be the guy who took my order in Nandos, the guy who held the lift for me at work or even one of my ‘cute’ lecturers from my last year. I know, I know. The last one is a bit dodge but he’s just too cute … So we decided to carry out the experiment and see what happens.
Scenario 1
The three of use are on the train coming back from an outing and decide to try the experiment on the train. LOL. Hilarious outcome. The guy we wanted to make ‘eye contact’ with, got on the next carriage and we were left trying the experiment with some rockhead, now I have absolutely nothing against rockheads, their fashion sense inspires me, but if I show you a picture, even you’d be scared. We weren’t even carrying out the experiment on him (we decided not to) but the looks he was giving us made me wonder whether those are the same looks a murderer gives to his victim before he kills him. Yes it was that deep, I never exaggerate! So that one fell through but it didn’t deter us, well it didn’t deter me. I believe in the ‘eye contact’ theory and I know it works. Just have to find the right candidate.
- Gabrielle
Guinea Pigs: Gabrielle
SistaLova
The aim of this experiment is to see how far eye contact can carry you.
The eye contact theory according to SistaHood is one that conjures up a certain confidence between both parties to take that extra step and talk to each other, this goes against the many times you have seen a ‘potential’ and just let him/her walk pass.
As I was supposed to be ‘chirspin the man dem’ and yet haven’t come across a potential, I have mastered the art of flirtatious chat with practically any guy I come across. Whether it be the guy who took my order in Nandos, the guy who held the lift for me at work or even one of my ‘cute’ lecturers from my last year. I know, I know. The last one is a bit dodge but he’s just too cute … So we decided to carry out the experiment and see what happens.
Scenario 1
The three of use are on the train coming back from an outing and decide to try the experiment on the train. LOL. Hilarious outcome. The guy we wanted to make ‘eye contact’ with, got on the next carriage and we were left trying the experiment with some rockhead, now I have absolutely nothing against rockheads, their fashion sense inspires me, but if I show you a picture, even you’d be scared. We weren’t even carrying out the experiment on him (we decided not to) but the looks he was giving us made me wonder whether those are the same looks a murderer gives to his victim before he kills him. Yes it was that deep, I never exaggerate! So that one fell through but it didn’t deter us, well it didn’t deter me. I believe in the ‘eye contact’ theory and I know it works. Just have to find the right candidate.
- Gabrielle
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
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