Seven Deadly Sins Of Sisterhood

Hmm, in light of recent 'comments' i thought i might bring this topic to the surface. I was watchin the Tyra show awhile back, and she came up with this concept, i was very intrigued.
1. Envy
2. Judgement
3. Resentment
4. Manipulation
5. Betrayal
6. Competition
7. Gossip
Now, after she had identified all the deadly sins of sisterhood, i could not help but think at least 5 of those 7 applied to me. I can remember occasions, a couple years back where i have envied, been judgemental and gossiped like there was no tomorrow! But now i ask myself what did i possibly achieve by being like that? I lost a couple of true sisters, partied more and lost faith. After a much deserved break, i took the time to re-evaluate past experiences in my life and what stood out the most is that ive nearly lost true sistas over guys. (KMT) So, i'll make this short and sweet and ask...
Which sin have you been guilty of committing, or a victim of?

and leave you with the words of tyra
'Stop negativity and competition and support one another.'


x-soul sista-x

Week 2

Lesson 2: Leave playing mind games to children. It doesn't work on girls... or guys for that matter. I would really like to know where 'mind games' started from (I mean between the opposite sex) 'cos it causes so many problems that could have been avoided. So yeah, if you like a guy, just tell him you like him, what's the worst that could happen? lol, lol. OK many things could happen but not enough to make you feel like doo-doo for the rest of your life. LIFE GOES ON!! And same applies to the guys, if you like a girl, just tell her, there's nothing worse than you dropping hints for months only to see the girl you really like, go out with another guy. so take what I have said and let it marinate/marinade (didn't know which word was correct in this context) in your head. Whilst I tell you what happened to me in Week 2. ENJOY!!!

Still in London, catching up with friends, life was good during this week, I felt so popular. People had ‘heard it through the grapevine’ that I was back on ends, so naturally I was getting called every minute being asked ‘what you on’ for the day… so I guess I could say I was out most of the time… enjoying myself. But one thing that I noticed which I only got to deal with directly was the fact that when I like someone, they NEVER show me that they like me back at that moment. I always feel like I’m the only one showing a certain interest… so before long I’m over them. You guys already know my nickname ‘crush hoe’, so the fact that I got over this guy wasn’t a problem. Now I liked this guy in college right to when I started uni but he wasn't showing me nothing back… so you know the routine... I forgot about him QUICKTIME. NOW, it wasn’t until I went back to London that week that I found out he had liked me all along. KMT why couldn’t he just tell me that he liked me… rather than playing stupid games. You see, I don’t understand ‘hints’ really I don’t… I usually don’t even know when a guy is ‘chirpsin’ me because I just usually think they’re being friendly. I think nothing of subtle talk, unless a guy comes up to me with the blatant lines ‘can I have your number’ and he hasn’t even asked my name that’s when I know he’s chirpsin me. So yeah, this guy tried to tell me how I never showed him love, and so he moved on… kmt. After I know I told him I liked him - Oh well!! That's life!! Next week... new story, new lesson.

CIAO

- Gabrielle

What clothes cant you stand on the opposite sex?

Moving on from the 'Money and Love' issue, I was going through a magazine and i came across this topic, it had me stitches! One guy said (and i quote:)
'Dem short mini skirts wiv dem leggin things underneath..Mini Skirts are an access ting, so why wear it den put trousers underneath dat jus makes things complicated!'
I literally could not breathe, (there was more said about big panties and tracksuits but that was a bit 2 deep) i thought to myself, Is he serious? So i decided to think what clothes i cant bear to see on guys and i was thinking for about an hour! So where shall i begin...
First off the biggest issue i have is da trousers that HANG off a guys arse, 'Dont look den', i hear u say, Well, wen ur 5ft4 and a guys 6ft thats the first thing u see from behind and its so irratating, cuz no I DONT WANT TO SEE UR BART SIMPSON BOXERS! SO PULL IT UP AND LEAVE IT UP!
Staying on the trouser tip, why do these 'fresh off da boat guys' wear trousers 12 times to big? and come with these phony american accents wen they've only just left da shores of the motherland? You dont have to buy trousers to tight, but damn dont buy trousers that we can both fit into 2GETHA!
Issue 3 sandels and jogging bottoms-nuff said.
Issue 4 Colours, now i personally dont have a problem with guys wearing purple and pink shirts like Cam'ron however dont make it a habit of wearing these colours all da time, or else i'll be wondering..'Is he bi-curious?'
Issue 5 (i have a lot of issues, dont i? well they need to be addressed) this one will be the last, PLEASE DO NOT WEAR A WINTER WHOLLY HAT AND A NEW ERA CAP..TOGETHER!

x-soul sista-x

What Easter Candy Are You??

Cadbury Creme Egg

You're the type that stole little brother's easter basket so that you could have MORE CANDY!

What Easter Candy Are You?

Have a fun and blessed Easter people!!

- AfroDivas

Can money buy you love?

On a discussion i was having with a male compadrez of mine, the topic came up if money can buy you love. I said no but he said yes, so being very lady-like i told him to explain what he meant first.
'Girls love everything materialistic...' he said.(at this point, before the conversation developed i was thinking is this boy serious?)...'if a guy has a lot of money he can buy anything he wants for a girl...'
I said: 'the only exception is love'
He said 'No it isnt cause, you can buy anything for a girl and they would eventually fall in love with you.'
His point was not getting no-where of any real interest, so i decided to state my case, instead:
'Money can buy you many things, cars, jewellery, e.t.c however the one thing in the world it cant but you is love, because love is something you can not see and purchase, you feel it. It is indescribable and has no price tag because love is priceless. There is a difference between being in love with someone and having love for someone but i cant buy anything for someone, in the hope to make them fall in love with me, it just doesnt make any sense!.
He said: Money CAN buy you love, especially with a girl you want if she sees that your going to spend on her, like she deserves to be spent on she WILL love you.
I literaly could not believe what i was hearing, so before i argued even more, i decided to ask him: 'Has money bought you love?' He was quiet. I said 'i take that as a no then, so what experience are you talking from' Again he was quiet. So i decided to get other peoples opinion on the subject.
Accordinbg to one guy, money cant buy you love it can give you a boost, money can make you look good and to a girl that is important cause they wouldnt want no bum on the street, someone who looks fresh is important. Well i think he missed the point.
Another guy said girls love to be in control, they love power. Money equals power so therefore money can buy you love.
These wild generalisations made me feel that most guys catergorized girls as being all the same and money hungry, which i disagree so i open it up to you can money buy you love?

x-soul sista-x

Remember X-Soul Sista-X.....well shes back from her looong hiatus *lol, and is no longer a "no strings girl" (thank the lord!!). Her outspoken and shocking posts will be on this site from now on....enjoy!

- AfroDivas

Back on the Scene..... continued

I’ve been gone for a while… but I’m back… bout to jump off… lol… (moment of madness) but anyway, the past few weeks have been ‘interesting’ to say the least, taking that break was much needed and added to my life experience. You know there are times when you think you’ve lived life but in retrospect you haven’t. See, I thought I had seen everything I had needed to see… I thought that I had experienced everything I needed to experience… but that all changed these past few weeks. You learn something new everyday and that’s exactly what has happened concerning my life… I’ve learnt a lot. With age comes wisdom…lol… check me though, talking about ‘wisdom’ but things have changed now, and in the next few weeks I’ll be telling you exactly why some things have changed.

My 1st week of my much needed break

I decided to go back to London, just to go and see friends and family… basically I went home to chill out. And that’s when everything started…. I was walking to my front door… (I think I had just come back from my friend’s house), not blowing my own horn but Gabrielle was looking FLY… so anyway I’m about to put my key in the door when someone calls my name. I turn around to see my next door neighbour, he’s such a cutie but let me give you some background info on him.

Tall, brown skin, very cute, very smart, very funny…. So basically I think he’s a HUNNY!! One problem – he’s younger than me. DAMN!! I mean I have never, ever been approached by a guy on ‘road’… and NO I’m not ugly that’s not the reason why I don’t get approached, I was told that some guys may feel intimidated by me but that’s another story.

Back to the scene, he calls me from his balcony then we start talking and whatever, catching up on things…. Then he tells me he’s coming downstairs I should wait. So I do. And what happened next is what surprised me the most…. He came downstairs and we were talking again, then he says, ‘You’re so beautiful’…. Lol…. Now if you know me I don’t take people's compliments seriously. I mean for all I know they could be lying to me and where would that leave my self-esteem if the truth was unveiled. Besides, I’m a diva… I don’t need anyone to tell me what I know already…. OK!!!! Lol. So he says ‘you’re so beautiful’… and his movements start to slow down…. then, then he leans in for a kiss .... now I don’t know about you ladies but opportunities like that don’t come knocking everyday… so what did I do?? Oh yes I do believe I kissed him back……

…. OK…. Calm down, calm down. I was joking…. It didn’t turn out quite as I described it but hey… no harm in dreaming right? So lemme rewind and start again,

Guy next door: You’re so beautiful
Gabrielle: Thanks. You’re not so bad yourself.
Guy next door: You know I’ve wanted to talk to you on a different level but as we went college together I knew you wouldn’t take me seriously so I decided to jam.

Now, there I am kinda dumbfounded… I mean this guy is a cutie and all those days we used to go to college together, all those times we used to mess about and stuff… he secretly liked me…. I would have never guessed.
He was right for not trying to approach me on a different level in college though because as some of you will know from your own experiences…. College is HYPE!! Everyone’s in your business, judging you, telling you what to do, or better yet telling their friends what they would have RATHER done if they were you.

Sad thing about ‘guy next door’ is he has so much potential… but Gabrielle is stuck in her own realm of insecurities and just won’t let it happen… shame huh? Age ain’t nothing but a number right…. yeah well tell that to my heart… ‘cos right about now it doesn’t even want to know.

Lesson 1: Something I remember Eva Longoria (Desperate Housewives) saying in ‘Elle’ magazine, she said, any guy that approaches you or asks you out on a date, you should give him a chance (this does not apply to ‘uncles’) because you never know what you’re missing out on. I mean take ‘guy next door’ as an example… he could be what I’ve been looking for all this time but I’ve missed that chance… now I’ll never know whether he was the one for me.

- Gabrielle

Honestly Speaking....

It’s a shame that we can’t be who we really are – all the time. Everyone wears a mask or a disguise of some kind, you almost have to. At work, you act a certain way, respond a certain way, talk a certain way; you have to project a work image – even if it’s totally not you. It’s all part of the job, no matter what you do for a living. Outside of work, when you’re with friends (for those who have friends), or when you’re just in a public place with other people, you act a different way. You’re a little more your real self, but you still have to wear a disguise.

There are rules. There are things you can’t say, shouldn’t say, shouldn’t do – no matter how right it feels. Feelings, feelings complicate everything. Most of the time you can get by, no matter what life decides to throw at you, but then those annoying feelings come marching in. They always arrive when you’re at your weakest or when you’re most distracted. It’s like they are always lurking, just waiting for a break in your defenses. There are good and bad feelings.
You would think that good feelings are always a good thing and bad feelings always bad, but this is not the case – especially when you’re feelings involve other people, and they almost always do.

There are times when good emotions have to be kept a secret because some people won’t understand and they will feel threatened and use your them against you. This is when good feelings can actually make you feel bad – because you can’t act on them or tell anyone about them. How many secrets can you keep before you go completely mad? In this world that's full of secrets how do people ever survive? How can we be prepared for anything when everything has to be such a secret? When you can’t admit your true feelings, are you lying? How can we be truthful about anything if we continue to lie about almost everything? Who is it we’re lying to – ourselves? If you truly dislike someone, but you’re nice to them and talk to them and maybe even do things with them, are lying to them? Your actions clearly say one thing, but on the inside, in that dark little place that only you know about, the truth lives.

Let’s say the opposite is true. You find yourself very attracted to someone, yet you distance yourself and maybe even avoid this person because showing any signs of affection toward this person is inappropriate for whatever reason. Yet if you disliked this person, it would be fine to have lunch, go for a walk in the park, engage in lengthy conversation – because – it’s all an act. You have no feelings for this person. It’s the guy down the street you really want to be with. All lies. If there is any hope in surviving in a world full of lies, we must tell the obvious truth, at least to certain people. The truth is that we don't have time to tell lies. We don't have time to stand still and weave these elaborate webs of deceit. We only have time to believe what is true. Believe that we will be okay. Believe that we will make it. To do otherwise is to live a constant lie and why even bother? What kind of life can be lived when you constantly have to watch your step, consider every word you say, control or deny your feelings so that no one will ever get a glimpse of what’s behind the mask.

How do you ever really know what’s true? How can you tell if someone really likes or dislikes you? How do you determine if someone feels the same way about you as you do about them when you can’t even tell that person how you really feel? In any relationship there are risks. If you do too much, you can scare the other person away. Do too little and they’ll think you’re not interested and go looking elsewhere. At what point do I remove the disguise, dig up your secret and tell someone your hearts desires? At what point can we all stop living a lie?

P.S. To the daily readers if this blog: excuse my randomness.....i just needed to vent!
To u kno who: You needed to read this!!

- SistaLova

What's Your Biggest Fear?

I know… I know! I apologise in advance…you can probably guess from the title that I'm not going to continue with my 'adventures' in this post … its just that this topic was a matter still fresh in my head, so I decided to write but I promise…. you readers have my word…. I am going to make sure my next post is about what I got up to in those 'exciting' weeks.

So anyway… what’s your biggest fear?

I asked a few friends of mine… just to get a varied answer of what people’s biggest fears were and even though I was looking for some sort of variation…. I actually got similarities.

Death... waking up to realise you’ve married the wrong person... failure, and so on and so forth. They basically fell into these categories: marriage, death, failure and regret. Asking people these questions made me realise that even though some of us have that ‘don’t care attitude’… we actually do care, 'cos if we didn't care, (personally I think) we wouldn't necessarily have a biggest fear (if you catch my drift).

My biggest fear…. I have loads…. Regretting important choices I’ve made concerning my career, my spouse… death…. Not making it into heaven (I don’t dwell on that one too much), I believe I’m going to heaven…. My last one is watching my younger siblings grow up and seeing them amount to nothing. Not that I concentrate on that but I don’t think I’d be strong enough to handle negative criticism from other members of the family (on behalf of my siblings) if you know what I mean.

I know you’re probably thinking where did that come from… but don’t you ever spend days thinking about different issues… wondering 'what if' or 'why' certain things happen. I actually have many days of ‘thinking’ and it bothers me that I think so much but hey… that’s another side of me. I’m a thinker… every situation I’m in or have been in… believe it or not… I’ve thought about it, maybe a bit too much, but I’ve thought about it. What I realised about being a ‘thinker’ is that you tend to plan things to the smallest detail and sometimes, just sometimes your plan doesn’t go to plan. Then what?

Then readers, you become an analyst, analysing every single thing, why it went wrong and what could happen if you got another chance. KMT. If only I could change this nature in myself… I seriously would. There are times when I want to live each day like it’s my last but to be honest that doesn’t happen and there’s me…. still being the ‘thinker’.
There are days when I have the ‘don’t care attitude’ but then it doesn’t last for too long… because as I said before, having that attitude actually means you do care.

Then I thought for a while and actually realised what my biggest fear was. I mean all the fears I listed are big... trust me. But if you couldn't establish (couldn't isolate) what you're biggest fear was, it's probably because you've deceived yourself into thinking you don't have one. And I'll be real honest with you... I know exactly what my biggest fear is and as lame as it may be... i think it's the root of most issues I come across.

My fear : disappointment.

I met him several times when I was younger... plenty more times as I grew older and frankly having to meet dissapointment again in the near future... puts me in some kind of fear. Some kind of apprehension that as time goes by... he gets uglier and uglier.

- Gabrielle