There's a work christmas party coming up that I really want to go to but have nothing to wear. Friends are saying that they know I have something in the cupboard... but I really don't. It pisses me off that they're telling me to come and wear anything, when I know as soon as I walk in there I'm going to feel like the tramp of the ball. Do you think they give out awards for that, being tramp of the ball. They wouldnt need to anyway, I'd probably be able to tell by the way their eyes look upon my skinny jeans, ballet pumps and dressy top. KMT! You know thats what one girl said I should wear, as if STUPID is written on my forehead. I can just picture it now, everyone's scrubbed up good, the men in their suits and ties, the women in ballgowns and flowing dresses, then Gabrielle with her skinny jeans, ballet pumps and dressy top. I know my fashion sense is a bit quirky but even I wouldnt be able to pull that off.
UPDATE - I wore an LBD (little black dress), peer pressure is a bitch! I wore a dress, please take into consideration, I really really really don't like wearing dresses or skirts. No explanation for it, I just don't. So imagine my DISGUST when I walk into the xmas party (which is supposed to be a black tie event) and I see people wearing skinny jeans, trainers, baggy jeans, timberlands... oh I could go on. The first and last time I put myself out, don't ever compromise! I should've known that was going to happen, ah well, just a very big lesson for me.
I went on a little break last week, just to get away and get all my thoughts together. A much needed break because I thought I would have a nervous breakdown otherwise. So, I went on ths break, thinking I could clear my head and when I would come back everything would be ok. WRONG AGAIN. I hadn't thought about him in days, weeks even and there I was in a different part of the world and he appears in my dream. I couldn't sleep for hours, I seriously thought it was getting better, I thought I had conquered my feelings, but its true what they say, you can't tell your heart what to do, it follows its own beat. But you can imagine how PISSED I was, I mean, COME ON, get a grip. HE DOESNT LIKE YOU, HE'S GETTING ON WITH HIS LIFE, NOW CAN YOU PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE... GET ON WITH YOURS.
I went to a friends 21st birthday party the other day. OMG!! Can you say FLOP!! I felt so sorry for her because it was evident she had spent A LOT of money, lets just say maximum capacity was 600, why did max.70 people come. I even think I'm exaggerating the number a bit, picture that scene in your head, NOW... picture my face when I walked in. Best believe I wasnt happy. I left my warm house, braved the cold cold wind, made my feet suffer, 'cos they were cold... got in the venue and no-one was there. NOT IMPRESSED. I think what made it even worse was the fact that some NIGERIAN guy tried to dance with me, and dont get me wrong I have nothing against NIGERIANS... that's my heritage but I MEAN give me a break, he looked like someone my dad could know, actually scratch that he looks like someone my uncle would hang out with, (my uncle - my mums younger brother, not SO YOUNG though), he has a child of his own and is approaching mid 30's, now mid 30's is still by far quite young but in comparison to me, YUCK... makes me cringe, shudder, throw up... every single time I think about it.
Have you got someone at work, that is THIS CLOSE, to getting beaten up, shouted at or something. Well, there's this girl I work with, who I thought was cool but just isnt AT ALL. We knew each other before work, but you know when you can tell if someone likes you or not. Well, the 1st time I met this girl I could tell she didnt like me, I have this sense about things like that and I'm never wrong. And anyway, whats not to like about me, I guess she's just another hater. So anyway, it's like I forgot that this girl didn't like me and it's like I had amnesia about all the sly comments she used to make, we used to have a laugh at work and everything, I seriously forgot that this girl didn't like me, then the other day out of nowhere she tried to say 'I THINK I'M ALL THAT COS I WENT ON MY LITTLE TRIP, AND HOW I'VE CHANGED SINCE I CAME BACK'...baring that I went on my trip for 4 nights and 5 days, how much can you change in that period of time! Now I dont know about you, but she caught me straight off guard. I was ready to drop kick her arse, do the PEOPLE'S ELBOW, CHOKE HOLD or something (yes I do watch WWF, WWE whatever and I know they advise you not to try anything at home), but I was at work, and she got me that mad... you know when you get THAT MAD... that your whole body is confused, your thinking ten million things at once of how to hurt that person.... well that was me. I was so PISSED, it didn't even hurt my feelings, it hurt my soul, sad thing is I was ready to tell her about herself the next time I saw her at work but she's going away for christmas... I won't see her til the new year and I'm a Christian, I can't go into the new year holding a grudge, so I've had to forget about it. Very hard to do... 'cos even writing this now brings back some anger... its just all about deep breaths and repeating that 'SHE'S A HATER', cos if I dont do that, best believe there will be drama when I go back to work.
UPDATE - I've calmed down a lot since then, it's history to me now. Gabrielle has better things to worry about, not that there's something thats worrying me, but I'm just saying. There are other things I could spend my time fussing about... clothes, food, wondering how I'm going to lug my big suitcase back home, oh yes...my bank account, which is looking beautiful right now. NO LONGER BROKE! THANK YOU GOD!!
I'm going to be by myself for a few days next week, the roommates are all going back home but as my workplace requires my presence a few days longer, I have to stay before I can go home for Christmas. OH HOME... you take it for granted when you're there, but when you leave and don't go back for months on end as I have done, you miss it like... you miss it like... the way I miss ONE on ONE, or like the way I miss my beautiful room, the way I miss my secondary school and college days. Basically I miss it A LOT... and can't wait to go back.
I want to go away again, far away, the other side of the ocean. Am I selfish for not being content with where I live? Or is it just being greedy? I dont know. What I do know is that there's so many things to see in this world, and many of us are content with living in the same place, doing the same mundane routines, I can't do it. I get bored easily, its like Im itching to see new things, how the other side of the world operates. J'adore ma vie, ma famille et mes copains mais je n'aime pas le memes routines dans la vie, il y a beaucoup des choses dans la monde. Par l'annee prochaine, je veux voyager aux pays differents et peut-etre commence une nouvelle vie la-bas.
- Gabrielle
Sunday, December 17, 2006
Saturday, December 16, 2006
Happy Birthday To...Us!!
Hey people! Its been year since a truly fabolous, fly and very attractive group of people came to together to create "truths from da AfroDivas"!...(o.k I may of gone overboard, but we are fly!)
The aim was to give ourselves an outlet for all the crazy things that happen daily in our lives...I think I can speak for the AfroDivas when I say its been a very fun and interesting journey. We've laughed at ourselves, created a bit of controversy and revealed a few personal truths. Its been a great tool for me to express myself and regain my passion for writing.
I know i've said this before but sometimes I really cant believe anybody, apart from us, actually reads the stuff we post on here. But since we started 4,979 have passed through. Some of you even leaving comments (although a little more of those would'nt hurt! lol), but thanks it is appreciated. Hopefully we will have a few more stories to tell and experiences to laugh at!
Peace
- SistaLova
The aim was to give ourselves an outlet for all the crazy things that happen daily in our lives...I think I can speak for the AfroDivas when I say its been a very fun and interesting journey. We've laughed at ourselves, created a bit of controversy and revealed a few personal truths. Its been a great tool for me to express myself and regain my passion for writing.
I know i've said this before but sometimes I really cant believe anybody, apart from us, actually reads the stuff we post on here. But since we started 4,979 have passed through. Some of you even leaving comments (although a little more of those would'nt hurt! lol), but thanks it is appreciated. Hopefully we will have a few more stories to tell and experiences to laugh at!
Peace
- SistaLova
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
Another BruthaDiva session...
Don’t say ‘I love you’ first.
This kind of advice does nothing to help women. Although I had a friend once who told a guy that she loved him and his response was ‘thanks.’ Hearing "thanks" in response to "I love you" is NOT the end of the world. As adults, we need to understand that sometimes we have feelings for people that aren’t mutual and vice versa (dont get me wrong I would be a bit pissed too, lol).
If you tell someone that you love them, it should be because you actually feel that way, not because you expect them to feel the same way or to hear it in return. You definitely shouldn’t settle for a one-sided relationship, but if it’s sort of early into your relationship, give the person time. That’s where common sense comes in. "Love" is an action word so you will know if the man is falling for you (or if he isn’t interested) based on how he treats you.
Ladies,I wouldn’t suggest being aggressive but I hear some guys like that so to each his own! But holding back just because you fear rejection isn’t helpful either.
Myth 1: Men don’t know how to behave in a relationship. It is up to a woman to be patient and "teach" him how to treat her.
This theory only works in TV Land people. I know that we’ve all heard that you subconsciously teach someone how to treat you by what you accept (and don’t) from your boy/girlfriend. And I totally agree. However, a man knows whether or not he’s in a committed relationship.
- He will stop ‘getting jiggy’ with his ex
- He will call if he’s going to cancel a date
- Spending time with him and his friends does not = quality time for the two of you
- Collecting phone numbers & going on dates with other women is a no go area
And ladies don't be stupid and provide excuses like..."but this is his first serious relationship and he’s learning...blah blah blah"
Some dudes will try and play dumb but trust, he’s just trying to see what you’ll allow him to get away with.
Myth 2: Things may be a little rocky in the beginning, but things will change.
Not gonna happen. If you've just started seeing each other and he’s always "busy", giving you excuses as to why he can’t return your calls, or why he didnt make it to that meeting then two years from now things will be the same. If you continue to ignore the little things that irritate you at the beginning you cant really complain or try to change him later. Either accept it or find someone else who has time for you.
Myth 3: A man can completely fool you if you’re a victim.
How many women do you know that are or always completely blinded by men? Women are always talking about being used or cheated on by their men but there are always signs of "doginess"(is that a word??..lol) but its up to you if you chose to ignore them. For example if you've never seen where he lives and you've been together for 8 months...this is a clear red warning! lol
This doesn’t give your boyfriend the excuse to be a complete prick, neither does it mean you should be critical of everyone you meet. Its simple, common sense should be our guide.
Myth 4: A man should accept you for who you are.
Not necessarily. Are you the best you that you can be? Are you difficult? What is your character? How do you treat people in your life? In most circumstances you should be accepted for who you are, but not if you’re crazy. We can always better ourselves and sometimes it takes someone we love to do that.
Now I know a few people are going to have a problem with what I've said in todays session. So leave a comment and i'll tell you why your wrong...lol!
Peace
- BruthaDiva
This kind of advice does nothing to help women. Although I had a friend once who told a guy that she loved him and his response was ‘thanks.’ Hearing "thanks" in response to "I love you" is NOT the end of the world. As adults, we need to understand that sometimes we have feelings for people that aren’t mutual and vice versa (dont get me wrong I would be a bit pissed too, lol).
If you tell someone that you love them, it should be because you actually feel that way, not because you expect them to feel the same way or to hear it in return. You definitely shouldn’t settle for a one-sided relationship, but if it’s sort of early into your relationship, give the person time. That’s where common sense comes in. "Love" is an action word so you will know if the man is falling for you (or if he isn’t interested) based on how he treats you.
Ladies,I wouldn’t suggest being aggressive but I hear some guys like that so to each his own! But holding back just because you fear rejection isn’t helpful either.
Myth 1: Men don’t know how to behave in a relationship. It is up to a woman to be patient and "teach" him how to treat her.
This theory only works in TV Land people. I know that we’ve all heard that you subconsciously teach someone how to treat you by what you accept (and don’t) from your boy/girlfriend. And I totally agree. However, a man knows whether or not he’s in a committed relationship.
- He will stop ‘getting jiggy’ with his ex
- He will call if he’s going to cancel a date
- Spending time with him and his friends does not = quality time for the two of you
- Collecting phone numbers & going on dates with other women is a no go area
And ladies don't be stupid and provide excuses like..."but this is his first serious relationship and he’s learning...blah blah blah"
Some dudes will try and play dumb but trust, he’s just trying to see what you’ll allow him to get away with.
Myth 2: Things may be a little rocky in the beginning, but things will change.
Not gonna happen. If you've just started seeing each other and he’s always "busy", giving you excuses as to why he can’t return your calls, or why he didnt make it to that meeting then two years from now things will be the same. If you continue to ignore the little things that irritate you at the beginning you cant really complain or try to change him later. Either accept it or find someone else who has time for you.
Myth 3: A man can completely fool you if you’re a victim.
How many women do you know that are or always completely blinded by men? Women are always talking about being used or cheated on by their men but there are always signs of "doginess"(is that a word??..lol) but its up to you if you chose to ignore them. For example if you've never seen where he lives and you've been together for 8 months...this is a clear red warning! lol
This doesn’t give your boyfriend the excuse to be a complete prick, neither does it mean you should be critical of everyone you meet. Its simple, common sense should be our guide.
Myth 4: A man should accept you for who you are.
Not necessarily. Are you the best you that you can be? Are you difficult? What is your character? How do you treat people in your life? In most circumstances you should be accepted for who you are, but not if you’re crazy. We can always better ourselves and sometimes it takes someone we love to do that.
Now I know a few people are going to have a problem with what I've said in todays session. So leave a comment and i'll tell you why your wrong...lol!
Peace
- BruthaDiva
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