Too Cute..

I remember watching "No Leave, No Love" years ago and was surprised to find this clip on youtube. Frank "Sugachile" Robinson is too cute, watch his hands.
Lol @ "Mama did'nt know what Caldonia was putting down"

- SistaLova

The Landlord...

I saw this earlier this year and it seems to have a buzz around it again. So if you need a laugh, sit back and enjoy the genius that is Will Ferell.





- SistaLova

What is going on?

I'm always getting emails with promotional info of "yet to be released" tracks, alot of them are one hit wonders, that rarely recieve any media atttention. But once in a while I recieve a truly lyrical gem.
So a few days ago I open my inbox and there it is, with the classy title of "Smell Yo Dick". Yes thats right, singer Riskay wants you to smell it... As in, if your man been has out all night and you dont believe what he's telling you, you have to smell his "love below".

What. Type. Of. Folywang???!!!
If you dont believe me check her Myspace. She has even been kind and generous enough to allow all her loving fans to download her singles for free....aww, how sweet.

On a more serious note. If you are having problems trusting your other half and have been reduced to literally sniffing around, in order to be sure your man is being faithful. Ah ah just END it MAYNNE! Who needs that stress? Sniffing is not the way forward people!! The sad thing about this, is that I can actually see it being played on certain music channels *ahem MTV. So prepare yourself, for when your five year old cousin comes up to you and asks you to explain the lyrical content.
This story reminds me of an incident involving a friend catching her mum praying in front of the tv, when some porn came on. I think im going to have do the same with my computer...smh. -

- SistaLova

The Classroom Bear...is it that serious?

On a daily basis, newspapers put out articles that have me worrying what the world is coming to.

Today, was no exception.
In the Sudan, British school teacher Gillian Gibbons is being brought up on charges because she let the children in her class name a teddy bear Muhammad. Her charges range from inciting hatred, insulting religion and showing contempt of religious beliefs.

Hmm...Inciting hatred? With a teddy bear? Was it wearing a white hood or something??

According to the article:
"if found guilty of insulting religion, [Gibbons] could be punished with a whipping of up to 40 lashes, a fine or six months in prison."

Ok...Lets have a look at the facts, shall we? She let a child bring in a teddy bear and then asked her SEVEN-YEAR-OLD PUPILS to name said bear. The class voted on Muhammad. Then the kids took turns taking Muhammad home and had to write diary entries about what they did with the bear. The diary entries were collected in a book with the bear's picture on the cover, named, 'My Name is Muhammad.'" And because of that, Gibbons lost her job and is likely to get beaten to death, too...smh.

- SistaLova

My Summer

Notice how I haven't written one single post since June. HA! That is what 'supposed' LOVE does to you. Can you imagine!! ME... GABRIELLE...IN LOVE!! See, I thought I was in love, I thought I had all the symptoms, but there are no classic symptoms and the sooner I get that into my head, the better off I'll be.

I'm a sucker for being 'in love'... I love the idea of being 'IN LOVE' and I know I'm not alone. Many ladies across the world are fooled into thinkingthat they’ll live a BROWN SUGAR story or miraculously bump into their love interest whilst shopping, working etc. The truth is you might not find HIM like that; the truth is I walk around aimlessly looking for him and it needs to stop.

A brief relationship in summer, I was happy, he made me happy but I couldn’t tell my mum about him. And yes, you may sigh, but I’m at an age where I don’t have to hide anything from my parents, the fact that I couldn’t at least hint to my mum that I was even ‘liking’ someone meant something was wrong. To cut a long story short, it didn’t last! It hurt a lot at first but later on I realised that it was for the best. Ever since that failed relationship I’ve been intent on finding a permanent replacement. Yes I said it! PERMANENT! I’m tired of getting to know someone, getting to know their habits, likes/dislikes, interests, I’m talking like I’ve been in loads of relationships but really and truly it’s just a long process so forget that!

Starting from my birthday outing I was on the lookout! I turned 21!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!! Good times, lots of laughs, I was looking for him - NO LUCK! KMT! What is it with LONDON nowadays – I MEAN! NOTHING WHAT SO EVER! So never one to dwell in such defeat, I decided to go to Nigerian Independence… hence I am Nigerian, and what’s better than settling with a fellow countryman… KMT…. Only he wasn’t there either. And it wasn’t so much that he wasn’t there, more that I didn’t even get a chance to cast eyes on him. The event got locked off. My people! My people!

Something happened that night that I will get into later but all hope was destroyed that night, all hope destroyed. I gave up a part of my soul… OK OK lets not exaggerate, but I was disappointed.

You guys know what kind of person I am though, yes my heart sank, yes I was disappointed but hey life goes on and so do I… he’s out there somewhere, I know it and when I find him you’ll be the first to know!!

- Gabrielle

Tomorrow is not promised...

I was checking out the black gossip site "Crunk and Disorderly" this morning and it had a story on kanye West's mother passing away suddenly during the weekend. Dr Donda West was only 58 years old, reading it made me think about my own love ones and how in life we generally think everyone around us is always going to be there. Many of us are guilty of taking those around us for granted. when I see my family and friends It never crosses my mind that it'll be the last time and I'm sure for many of you its the same.
I really do appreciate my family and friends and I hope they know that, but sometimes hoping people know, isnt enough. I'm going to make more of a conscious effort to show I'm truly thankful for the people God has brought into my life, positive or negative.
It also made me re-realise that life really is too short to waste on petty issues and that we should'nt wait to rectify things within our lives, because we may not be here to do it.
So like the old saying goes...
"Live Each Day As If It Were Your Last...Tomorrow is Not Promised".
Peace

- SistaLova

Party with Cavalli...

The day has finally arrived, and I shall be in attendance. I've had a look at the collection and I personally think that the mens line is much better. However there are a few pieces in the ladies range that I like...anyway If you see a random black girl fighting over the last black ruffled blouse, do'nt hesistate to call my name!

- SistaLova

Sign "O" The Time

I'm not a big fan of "Big Brother" or reality-like tv shows, and I try my best to avoid them(however I did watch the last season...I blame "bag lady"!) Anyway...I did'nt realise that there was an African edition, until I was browsing online and came across a story that was quite shocking.

According to The Times, SA...
"Viewers of the incident, which took place on Saturday afternoon after an extended drinking bout which ended in copious vomiting and apparent blackout for Molokwu, remain adamant about what they saw: Bezuidenhout lay down next to the comatose young woman and penetrated her vagina with his fingers. He carried on despite the pleas of another female housemate for him to stop. Under the law in South Africa - where, on average, a woman is sexually assaulted every 40 seconds - such an act constitutes rape. Bezuidenhout, who is married, finally desisted and went off to sit by himself while drunkenly sniffing his fingers."

The camera's were still rolling while all of this took place and only when the housemate Bezuidenhout had finished did the creators of the show stop the live feed and call in the paramedics in, then....broadcasting resumed. Huh? wtf? What kind of sick people are running this show? I do realise that this info is from a random article, so figuring out what parts are fact and fiction is anyones guess. Even with the controversy surrounding this incident, Bezuidenhout is still in the house and is favourite to win.

I'm not sure about you guys, but how is it possible that this man could be left in the house and still a favourite?!

- SistaLova

Silence in the Library!

Hey guys! Its been a while, but you know how it is....busy, busy!

Recently I feel like I've been living in the library. In fact it's 10.30 and I'm here procrastinating, instead of finishing off my essay(s). I've got so much coursework to do it's ridiculous! But its all good you have to work hard to achieve big things, which I definately plan on doing.

As a few of you know from my past posts that crazy people like to be a prominent fixture in my life lol...no seriously. They're everywhere work, uni, social events...everywhere! But one place I can always find solice is in the library, err..that was until now.

So because I always have encounters with weird people I have developed a natural radar that alerts me to whenever one is nearby (yes, its that serious!). As I saw this person approaching (I think we should call her Why?) I knew all was not well and was praying that she would not sit next to me, my prayers were not answered.

Why? begins her random behaviour by spraying herself with deodorant, and i'm not talking about a quick spray. This girl was spraying like she wanted to finish the whole can. I'm worried my lungs won't be the same again!
As she's doing this I'm thinking, did'nt you know you were funky when you left your house?? (its only 10.00) and is this the place to sort yourself out??...smh. So finally she stops and things settle down for a while, then suddenly I hear a loud crunching sound mixed with the unwrapping of something...I look up.

Why? is now eating several large boiled sweets and it looks like she forgot to close her mouth...Folywang! I start staring at her on the sly thinking this chick is NOT serious, or maybe I've become part of a prank tv show. Either way I thought it was time to find another seat, luckily she left before I had a chance to. The cynical part of me thinks she came in to eat and stop the funky scent that was following her...kmt.

So I finally get back to the work that I really need to finish and soon enough Why?s' seat is filled by a guy. As I said my radar usually picks up on weird behaviour, but I did'nt really notice him until he insisited on blowing his nose for a good 2 minutes....continuously!! Everybody starts looking in our direction like they want to say something. I'm trying my best not to notice and even resort to putting my ipod on to drown the sound out, but this guy was relentless! Even the sounds of Roisin Murphy (who I'm lovin btw!) could'nt stop him. I mean what happened to silence in the library!!

Oh yeah then there was a grown ass man who I noticed stealing a leaf...yes you read it right, a leaf?! I swear I was so confused, he looked like an average guy too. He just came in, ripped the leaf from the stem put it in his backpack and left.
This is just another example that the end is near.

Anyways I'm going to keep this short and get back to some serious work.

SistaLova
Peace.

Why Must I Cry no. 1

I've realised that ALOT of things generally annoy, make me shake my head in disgust or leave me in a state of shock. So ive decided to make a daily note of those things on this blog. This radom ranting will be entitled..."why must I cry". The title itself was inspired by a young man called Reh Dogg, I think you'll agree that he should be on your list too.

Why must I cry

Please note the description Reh dogg has provided to help you futher understand this follywang that is his video.

"Why do good girls
Like bad guys,
Knowing that bad guys
Tell mad lies?"

This is a little part of a lyric from a song by DMX.
This is a wondering question!
It even tends to be true basically! Very true, even.

What do you girls, or even guys, think???

101 Ways To Annoy People...

A friend sent me this......... so I decided to post it for you guys

1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."
3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."
5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
6. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen. <
7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.
8. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
9. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub".
10. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies.
11. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
12. Sniffle incessantly.
13. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
14. Name your dog "Dog."
15. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
16. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
17. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."
18. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace".
19. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."
20. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with Lysol.
21. Practice making fax and modem noises.
22. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss.
23. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
24. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
25. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person."
26. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with the prophesy."
27. Wear a special hip holster for yourremote control.
28. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.
29. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
30. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
31. Give a play-by-play account of a persons every action in a nasal Howard Cosell voice.
32. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
33. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
34. Drum on every available surface.
35. Staple papers in the middle of the page.
36. Ask 1-800 operators for dates.
37. Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copyright warnings.
38. Sew anti-theft detector stripsinto peoples backpacks.
39. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.
40. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.
41. Set alarms for random times.
42. Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.
43. Instead of Gallo, serve Night Train next Thanksgiving.
44. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.
45. Honk and wave to strangers.
46. Dress only in clothes colored Hunters Orange.
47. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.
48. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.
49. Wear your pants backwards.
50. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.
51. Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"
52. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
53. only type in lowercase.
54. dont use any punctuation either
55. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
56. Pay for your dinner with pennies.
57. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.
58. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
59. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps.
60. Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ O.J Simpson conspiracy theories.
61. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, its gone now."
62. Light road flares on a birthday cake.
63. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.
64. Leave tips in Bolivian currency.
65. Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador."
66. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.
67. When Christmas caroling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.
68. Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One."
69. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
70. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.
71. Pretend your computer's mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.
72. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
73. Drive half a block.
74. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.
75. Ask people what gender they are. 76. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back.
77. Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern drawl.
78. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes".
79. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers brains, such as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song.
80. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head. like a parakeet.
81. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.
82. Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.
83. Change your name to "AaJohn Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."
84. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
85. Chew on pens that you've borrowed.
86. Wear a LOT of cologne.
87. Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing."
88. Sing along at the opera.
89. Mow your lawn with scissors.
90. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!"
91. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend."
92. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
93. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."
94. Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture."
95. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.
96. Never make eye contact.
97. Never break eye contact.
98. Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.
99. Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, announcing the results. 100. Make appointments for the 31st of September.
101. Invite lots of people to other people's parties.

- SistaLova

A Lifetime, Reason, Or A Season

Its said that people you come across throughout your life can fall into three categories: A lifetime, Reason, or a Season.

Someone with only a reason for being in your life
Is there to provide you with guidance or support,
Help you physically, mentally, or spiritually.
Or show you how to appreciate life
And what or who you have in it.
When their time with you is over,
They’ll continue on their way.
Time with you was meant to be brief,
There’s nothing you can do or say.


A seasonal being is there to teach you an important lesson,
About yourself or about life.
They can bring you joy or pain,
And an experience you’ve yet to encounter before them.
But just as life begins to bud on trees in Spring,
And vibrantly swaying in the warm breeze of Summer,
Then fading slowing in beauty while dangling in the Autumn,
And and finally dying off in Winter
The person ends their time with you,
Sometimes without notice or reason.
Ending your relationship forever,
Because they were only there for a season.


Lifetime people teach lifetime lessons
Throughout your time on earth.
These are people that you love unconditionally,
Who you try trust undeniably,
And who you accept,
Flaws and all.

- SistaLova & ED

From The Old Book...

When all that I am deserves so much more
Each breath taken was for you...not any more
Wanting so much
For you to be meant for me
But deep inside I’ve come to realise
Your love could never be mine

Hoping and longing
That one day you’ll up and leave
Leave her for me
But now I see that was only in my dreams
God I know was wrong
Forgive me Lord because now I see
I don’t need his second hand love to set me free.

- Soul_Full

Guys and Girls!!!

Why do girls go to the toilet in twos?

Why do guys say they’ll call you back but never do?

Why do girls take so long to get ready?

Why are guys so paranoid?

Why are girls so paranoid?

Why are guys so persistent? You’ve said ‘no’ 1000 times but he’s still the top person in your received and missed call log.

Why do girls give mixed signals?

Why do guys like sex so much?

Why do girls like shopping so much?

Why do guys cheat?

Why do girls stay with guys that cheat?

Why do guys ask if they’re the best you’ve had?

Why do girls pretend to be something they’re not?

Why do ugly guys get really good looking girls?

Why are there more and more guys ‘coming out’?

Why do girls insist on wearing ‘crispy’ weaves?

Why are guys obsessed with the gym?

Why are girls getting more tattoos?

Why do guys wait for girls to show interest before making a move?

Why is that when girls see a guy they like, or a guy they want, he’s hooked up?

Why do guys insist on wearing their Bluetooth? (When they’re not in their car or even when there’s no reception in a venue).

Why do girls get angry when they are approached by a guy in a rave? (*correction: why do girls who wear revealing/skimpy clothes get angry when they are approached by a guy in a rave?)

Why do guys……..?
Why do girls……..?

This list could go on forever, there are many things that baffle me about guys, and I can imagine how many things baffle guys about girls. Just another post to add to the collection. Check out www.afrodivas.blogspot.com.

Random Thoughts

WOW! A month long hiatus, where have the AfroDivas been? Really and truly guys, I have no explanation... I've just been busy... so back to our scheduled posts... lets get stuck in!!



Going on holiday. Lol. Yes I know, when am I ever not going anywhere. Going to the Big Apple, I don't know, I've always felt like there's something there for me. Grass isn't greener on the other side but I'm just hoping that in this case it is. No, I'm not a sell out, I'm just trying to find a better future for myself. This might just be my chance, if it doesn't work out, then that's fine. I just don't want to look back and think about what could've been.

I'm gone for three weeks this time, not sure how everyone will be when I come back. 'Work girl' from Random Thoughts 2 might think I've gone completely off the rails this time. LOL. IDIOT!!



I cut my hair off, for no reason at all this time. Just wanted a change! Now I wish I hadn't gone so drastic. Have you ever realised that when you want to do something or when you really want something you don't see anyone with it, but as soon as you do that 'said thing' it sems like the whole world has done it too.

I cut my hair, left the salon, went to meet my friend and practically every girl I saw had short hair. SHITE!! How can I look different? Went back again the next week and shaved off the left side .... COMPLETELY!! I hate looking like everyone else, I hate looking like the token black girl, but that has changed now because I actually do look different. It'll grow out, it's all a matter of time. I like it, my mum preferred the 'cut' I first had and my dad. Lol!! Let's just say he wasn't too pleased - but he knows the type of daughter he has. I'm not crazy like Britney!!



OK. I just have to add this quickly because if I don't, I'll forget. Basically, as my name is Gabrielle to you readers, I'm known to others as Alesha!! Don't ask, I didn't go round introducing myself as Alesha, it's all because of 'the Wood', my good friend started it all and since then it's just stuck. So, anyway the debate is whether it was 'badmind', 'dodgy' for Mike to have slept with Alesha. Background story is that Mike liked Alesha, and Alesha liked Mike (secretly), they both lost their virginity to each other whilst they both had partners. Question is, do you think that's dodgy?

Well, yes I think it is dodgy because it's not good to cheat, but then again, Alesha and Mike were made for each other. It's crazy the way life works. They ended it with their partners as soon as they had slept with each other because obviously they knew they were both wasting their time with the other person. It's not easy to have a strong opinion on this topic because if I was Alesha, I would want to find happiness, but then again if I was Alesha's partner before Mike, I obviously wouldn't be pleased that I was pushed to the side because of another guy. It all depends on who you are in the scenario, if you are a 'Mike' or an 'Alesha', your life is blessed, if you're not.... you're pissed. I guess it's just a sign for you to move on. But what do you guys think, because I know some people that don't think there's a problem with sleeping with people that they know have a partner. To me, it's nasty, plays you off as desperate. To others, its just the norm. The world we live in ey!! The world we live in.

Thanks for reading guys, this is just a quick post, haven't returned to my usual 'post every day' self, but it's getting there.


- Gabrielle xx

Feminism

It's been a while, I know, but I've been trying to understand my way of thought, I've been trying to delve into my past. My attitude towards men is like no other I've come across and the more and more I have those 'girly talks' with my compadres, the more I realise there's something wrong.

Yes, every girl has their 'I HATE GUYS' moment, its only natural, its only expected, those moments are needed, they teach us ways in which to interact with the opposite sex in the future. But as those 'moments' last just a week for some ladies, a few months for others, my moment has lasted for what seems like forever. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not tired of being independent, I actually love it, I'm doing things for myself that others have needed help for, I'm setting myself up for plush living in the future, I've got it all planned out.

Saying that, despite my future plans and despite the fact that to some other females I actually know what I want to do in life, (well, other than breed little rascals) I feel like I should be apologetic for my thoughts and my ways. I see the way my aunts look at me when they ask me about my boyfriend and I tell them 'who needs one... not me' lool, and the way my friends look at me when I say 'I want a seperate bed to my husband' lool... but that's just my way of thinking. When I say to my aunts I don't need a boyfriend, I'm being honest, I really don't need one, 'need' is such a strong word (adjective, noun, whatever it is) no one should ever need a partner, you may want one but you should never need one. What could a boyfriend do for me at this point in time but distract me from my desired goal and make me become dependant on him, oh ok, he could provide me with pleasure that lasts a WHOLE ONE MINUTE and for that I should be ever grateful... because that ONE MINUTE explains why I should need a man. I dont think so! I just feel like having a boyfriend would destroy my purpose, thats all, and for that I'm being called a feminist. Because I suggested separate beds for my husband and I, I'm called weird, lol, ok maybe it is a bit weird but I have my reasons... I like my space and I love my sleep, I dont want HIM all up in my face when I'm trying to sleep, neither do I want HIM taking the covers when room temp. is below normal, thats just my way of thinking. Sue me!

I don't know how long my chain of thought has been like this but it comes so naturally to me that I shudder to imagine how young I was when someone betrayed me, for something to create such an impact on my life that has lasted for a few yrs, it must've been something big. I mean everyone goes through their fair share of heartbreak but why did I take it so hard? I'm not the only one that has loved someone and they didn't love back, neither am I the only one that has been dumped (oh yeh I know, Gabrielle being dumped, lets not go there... it was the days when Gabrielle was still naive as hell... the innocent days), I know I'm not the only one that those things have happened to, so why are my thoughts today still a reflection of those things.

I have no love for man, this I realised recently, your physique I'm attracted to, your thoughts amuse me, your actions inspire me, all this yet I still don't have love for man. It scares me a little because if I carry on like this I wont have the opportunity to call someone 'my better half' or be able to love like never before, do you think I'll be bitter as a result? I know I'd be far less than happy. Maybe one day I'll look back and laugh at what my friends think is ignorance but as for now, Im not going to deny my new found label. Yes, I am a feminist, I do feel like I can do everything for myself and no, I'm not going to burn my bra because thats just stupid. One thing I will do... appreciate my thoughts because thats what makes me different.

Why try so hard to fit in when GOD made us this way so we could stand out?

- Gabrielle

Career over Children

Hey readers! New year, new start! Welcome back! This Christmas/New Year period has taken us divas away for a while, apologies. It had been so long since the last post that I thought it was about time something was written. I was unsure of what to write about as it is just the beginning of the year and nothing has happened, I was urged by a friend to talk about a topic that is starting to plague the minds of many ladies… especially me. So, I thought, why not talk about whether a woman can have a successful career and be able to look after her children at the same time. Here goes.

Basically, I think that women should go for gold, follow your dreams, try and be what you want to be - well, at least try and get your foot in the door. Why? Because I can guarantee you, I can place bets on this if I wanted to (I don’t gamble but I just needed to emphasise how strongly I feel about this), I can assure you that once a child comes into your life those dreams you once had are put on hold. Yes, you can go back to work after but it won’t ever be the same. If your choice of career is competitive, no company will wait for your return, yes, your job position will still be there, but keep in mind that during the time that you weren’t at work – you would’ve been replaced. Someone else would’ve shown hunger, dedication, commitment, someone else would’ve chosen their career over your choice of children. Someone else would’ve shown your company where their priority lies. Harsh, not really! It’s the real world, there are people that exist that know they definitely do not want children. And so in that same breath, the person that has ‘replaced’ you diminishes the demand for you to return and you go back to work thinking everything’s the same but its not. How do I know? My mum lives to tell the tale, scouted to be the next Naomi Campbell but was pregnant with me at the time, refused to work whilst pregnant and so gave up the opportunity of a lifetime. If I were her I would’ve jumped at the chance to be a model, pregnant or not. I mean who knows what my life would’ve been like now. I might have been one of those kids on MTV’s Super Sweet Sixteen. Oh! One can dream! On a more serious note, opportunities like that don’t come knocking every day, modelling is an extreme example, but being able to become something that you’ve dreamt of ever since you were in primary/secondary school, then having to put that dream on hold. I personally can’t do it. I’m not saying that it won’t happen, what I am saying is that I would prefer for it not to occur that way.

I have a simple plan. I would rather work my way to the top and find a comfortable position before I have kids. I would like to be established, find a permanent position in the firm of my choice, live in a comfortable home, drive a beautiful car, basically, achieve everything that I have dreamt of (before the husband and kids come into the scene anyway). Easier said than done. That goal could take me many years to achieve and then what, I become an old mother. NOPE! Not going to happen. Saying that, some women have regretted leaving children to the last minute, some even regretting choosing their career over the joy of having a child. Personally, I can’t imagine starting a career that I have studied and worked hard for only to fall pregnant and have my career put on hold. That phase scares me ‘put on hold’, I see too many women who put their dreams ‘on hold’, women who today are still convinced they can go back to their career when in fact they know they will never return, or women that honestly believe they can go back to work when the truth is, they cleared out your desk the moment you left them and haven’t looked back since. I guess it all depends on the type of person you are and what you feel you are capable of. I’m not doubting the fact that I wouldn’t be able to raise children, I’ve been around children my whole life, so I know its possible. I just think its an added obstacle that I wouldn't need. People might think that there is nothing wrong with that but as I said, it all depends on you as a person.

I think the only way I could have a child whilst I was working would be if my husband was a stay at home dad. I don't even want to delve in too deep about that subject but if you find a loving, caring and understanding partner who doesn't mind staying at home and looking after the kids whilst you're at work. Well, by all means go ahead. If the issue of you, as a woman, being the breadwinner is no issue in your house, then continue to work and provide for the household. Can women have a career and bring children up at the same time? It's possible, but prepare to go through the most demanding and stressful time of your life. This beats preparing a wedding, meeting the in-laws, buying or moving into a house by far. GOD SPEED! Whoever can handle that challenge, I applaud you because just thinking about it is enough to get me stressed.

- Gabrielle