Career over Children

Hey readers! New year, new start! Welcome back! This Christmas/New Year period has taken us divas away for a while, apologies. It had been so long since the last post that I thought it was about time something was written. I was unsure of what to write about as it is just the beginning of the year and nothing has happened, I was urged by a friend to talk about a topic that is starting to plague the minds of many ladies… especially me. So, I thought, why not talk about whether a woman can have a successful career and be able to look after her children at the same time. Here goes.

Basically, I think that women should go for gold, follow your dreams, try and be what you want to be - well, at least try and get your foot in the door. Why? Because I can guarantee you, I can place bets on this if I wanted to (I don’t gamble but I just needed to emphasise how strongly I feel about this), I can assure you that once a child comes into your life those dreams you once had are put on hold. Yes, you can go back to work after but it won’t ever be the same. If your choice of career is competitive, no company will wait for your return, yes, your job position will still be there, but keep in mind that during the time that you weren’t at work – you would’ve been replaced. Someone else would’ve shown hunger, dedication, commitment, someone else would’ve chosen their career over your choice of children. Someone else would’ve shown your company where their priority lies. Harsh, not really! It’s the real world, there are people that exist that know they definitely do not want children. And so in that same breath, the person that has ‘replaced’ you diminishes the demand for you to return and you go back to work thinking everything’s the same but its not. How do I know? My mum lives to tell the tale, scouted to be the next Naomi Campbell but was pregnant with me at the time, refused to work whilst pregnant and so gave up the opportunity of a lifetime. If I were her I would’ve jumped at the chance to be a model, pregnant or not. I mean who knows what my life would’ve been like now. I might have been one of those kids on MTV’s Super Sweet Sixteen. Oh! One can dream! On a more serious note, opportunities like that don’t come knocking every day, modelling is an extreme example, but being able to become something that you’ve dreamt of ever since you were in primary/secondary school, then having to put that dream on hold. I personally can’t do it. I’m not saying that it won’t happen, what I am saying is that I would prefer for it not to occur that way.

I have a simple plan. I would rather work my way to the top and find a comfortable position before I have kids. I would like to be established, find a permanent position in the firm of my choice, live in a comfortable home, drive a beautiful car, basically, achieve everything that I have dreamt of (before the husband and kids come into the scene anyway). Easier said than done. That goal could take me many years to achieve and then what, I become an old mother. NOPE! Not going to happen. Saying that, some women have regretted leaving children to the last minute, some even regretting choosing their career over the joy of having a child. Personally, I can’t imagine starting a career that I have studied and worked hard for only to fall pregnant and have my career put on hold. That phase scares me ‘put on hold’, I see too many women who put their dreams ‘on hold’, women who today are still convinced they can go back to their career when in fact they know they will never return, or women that honestly believe they can go back to work when the truth is, they cleared out your desk the moment you left them and haven’t looked back since. I guess it all depends on the type of person you are and what you feel you are capable of. I’m not doubting the fact that I wouldn’t be able to raise children, I’ve been around children my whole life, so I know its possible. I just think its an added obstacle that I wouldn't need. People might think that there is nothing wrong with that but as I said, it all depends on you as a person.

I think the only way I could have a child whilst I was working would be if my husband was a stay at home dad. I don't even want to delve in too deep about that subject but if you find a loving, caring and understanding partner who doesn't mind staying at home and looking after the kids whilst you're at work. Well, by all means go ahead. If the issue of you, as a woman, being the breadwinner is no issue in your house, then continue to work and provide for the household. Can women have a career and bring children up at the same time? It's possible, but prepare to go through the most demanding and stressful time of your life. This beats preparing a wedding, meeting the in-laws, buying or moving into a house by far. GOD SPEED! Whoever can handle that challenge, I applaud you because just thinking about it is enough to get me stressed.

- Gabrielle