A shift in my opinions about love and romance has occured. I dont think this is because of new love or past disappointments... though then again, I'm sure I've been affected way more than I care to admit.
Anyway somehow I have taken on a new perception because I have seen, felt, touched and tasted true love. I know its texture, I know its affect. I am familiar with its possibilities and I know it because I truly love....me.
Now the people who really know me will tell you straight, I was'nt always this way. I have transformed into a different person than I was months back, and thats a great thing (dont get it twisted I was a great person before, but now i'm even better..lol).
The true love and acceptance I have come to know within myself is deeper than I ever imagined it could be. I've been comparing my self-love to the love that I crave from a man. My "fantasy" no longer involves "falling in love" just for that butterfly/ rollercoaster sensation that I became hooked on before. Now dont get me wrong SistaLova has NOT stopped loving and become a angry black woman! I'm just saying I think that the cliche is true, to really love someone else you must love yourself! Lol..i cant believe i just said that! I dont know what is happening to me, maybe i'm still high off that New year spirit!
The real reason why I wrote this post occured earlier this week, when I had a brief meeting with "Mr Small" (a person you will read about, in a later post!). He asked me if I was seeing someone, usually I would have played some sort of mind game and not really answer his questions. But my answer was simply no. I actually felt good when I said this, because I realised I was no longer the silly little girl who played games and tricks. What made me feel even better was that I think he noticed to, I would catch him just starring at me as if I was a different person. Someone he had never spoken to before.
I know myself better than anyone else and the truth is, I carry alot of baggage around with me and I'm pleased to say that right now I'm In a much better place.....It can only get better!
-SistaLova
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4 comments:
when did carrying baggage become a good thing? Fair enough, who we are and how we act is a product of our past, but then again in order to move forward (NOT MOVE ON... MOVE FORWARD, PROGRESS), you only need to hold on to the good things of the past in order to make good progress... bad things in the past will only stunt your growth.
Someone who knows...
Mr Small? Is that a private joke?
RE: Mr Small? Is that a private joke?
Well, as i said you'll find out all about him, later on.
u go gurl...
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