A Letter to You...

Men are so immature, NO for real! I can't believe I swooned over this guy, pictured a future with him and now this guy won't even talk to me. See... it's for this reason that I don't find fault with lesbians. Yes, I know, I don't support it but I can understand why a perfectly beautiful woman would choose to fall in the arms of a heavy set, well built woman than the defined arms of a man.

My theory of older guys not being as much hassle as younger guys has since been thrown out the window. A good 4 yrs older than me but I feel like I'm dealing with someone with the same mindset as those HYPE boys I once knew in college. The trend nowadays is the 'younger' guy and having previously touched on this subject I came to the conclusion that I couldn't do it but recent events have made me feel a lot differently specially since one of my younger cousin's friedns is totally cute, (so many candidates) - just not sure of their young feeble minds. But at this point talking to them seems more productive than talking to HIM.
Argh, he gets me so riled up sometimes 'cos I wasted valuable time thinking about our prospects, seeking advice from others about what I should do. I shoulda known when my best friend said, 'he's a wasteman' to stay clear. And don't start getting judgemental, my 'b.f.' says everyone is a wasteman, he doesn't want me to be with anyone, just as a father or brother doesnt want their female relative to come across the opposite sex in fear of all the things they did to other girls coming back to them indirectly with the mistreatment of their 'girl'. It's all irony anyway, 'what goes around comes around.'

So I haven't spoken to this fool for 2 weeks now, and yes I'm pissed, I have a reason to be angry. You know what it feels like, it feels like that friend you used to ALWAYS defend when people used to bitch about her but then ends up turning against you with the rest of your clique.
It feels exactly like that, it feels like 'why the hell did I speak to you in the first place, why on God's green earth did I think we could be friends, why... even after my 'b.f.' had died you down (dismissed your existence) I decided to relate to you anyway.'
For you to f***ing do this and go on like I did you something. If anything, there's no reason why you shouldn't be talking to me. You know what, you're DUMB! You're actually an IDIOT, and I hope you read this. Do you know how I worked my butt off calling round, making sure everything was set for your event, taking time out of my learning schedule to help your sorry arse. I didn't ask you to come to my uni, HELL why did you come?
All I know is, I've been distressed, distraught because I was upset about you not talking to me. I actually felt upset, that's just the 'kindness' in me, I won't ever make that mistake again.

I hadn't seen or spoken to you for years before we bumped into each other again so it doesn't really pay no importance to me if that night I saw you was the last time for the rest of my life. Feed off that MORON!
Why couldn't you voice what was bothering you? Why couldn't you show me that you weren't happy about what happened. I mean even I wasn't happy. But there you were tryna act like a HARD man, when you know the fact that the event didn't turn out the way you planned it BURNT you. It even BURNT ME, but you're gonna try and lay blame on me and you don't even have the decency to tell me that's the way you feel. You can pretend like thats not what is going on, but as I always say 'mama didn't raise no fool', from 10+ calls every evening discussing the event and everything else to 0 calls the night of the event, for 2 weeks now. Nah, I'm not stupid.
But anyway go on with your bad self, I realise that you didn't really know me, 'cos if you did you would know crying, sulking, tantrums don't make me sympathise with you. Coming to me as a bigger person and telling me what's going on in your head makes me respect you. More fool you if you think after writing this I'm gonna acknowledge you, you don't exist to me no more.

Have a nice life.

- Gabrielle

I know it's heated readers but this was holding me back from being myself, I just needed to let this steam off, I was acting 'too cool for school', letting all this mess get to me. Never again.
Readers, I'm back. And if I ever, ever try to go soft on you guys again, let me know, it's time I turned the tables... for every person that upset you, ever made you feel like you were lower than them, just ever made you start tripping... well, this letter goes out to them.

Kiss my fabulous arse 'cos you are NEVER going to make me feel like that again.


UPDATE
I wrote this and spoke to him like 2 days after, HE was going on like nothing happened, when I know it did. I wasn't even going to publish this post because infact I did speak to him, and that would contradict everything I wrote in the letter, but I've decided to post it because despite the fact that we spoke, we're still not cool and that letter allowed me to vent, I didn't know I was this angry 'til I read the letter back. NOW... I'm not angry anymore, it's just one of those things... this will be a lesson to me though.

My kindness will be taken for weakness, that's life - there's nothing I can do about it. Just because of this one incident I can't stop being nice, one day someone is really going to need it, and they will appreciate it, so until then imma have to keep being nice... as I said 'its just one of those things.'