Honesty & Friends??

Wassup people, its BruthaDiva!.....

Firstly, forgive me for the slightly gay blog entry but this thought has been banging the walls of mind for awhile now...
There are very few people I call my friend, but how honest can a person really be with their friend? Is there really TRUE honesty? I’ve heard people say, “A true friend will run into a burning building for you!” “A true friend will tell you how they feel no matter what the circumstances” “A true friend will give you the shirt off their back …” yeah, right …
Let me begin with anyone who reads this post DON'T ask me if I’m talking about you because even if I am … I will deny it! Just know that this is a conversation in my head that I think many people can relate to.
“A true friend will run into a burning building for you!” -- I guess I’m not a true friend then because I do not run into burning building for anyone – if you run into a burning building for someone, you just might get BURNED!!
I mean, lets look at this situation seriously… a friend is in a heap of a mess, usually a heap they got themselves into, however, they listen to no one who attempts to tell them they are messing up, and suddenly they are in the "burning building" I decide, I ain’t running in! Does that not make me a true friend? Even though I have stretched myself across like a bridge and they refused to walk? This does not mean I won’t throw in a fire extinguisher, or call the fire brigade … but running in? I’ve ran into “burning buildings” before and got third degree burns for NOTHING.
“A true friend will tell you how they feel no matter what the circumstances” -- yeah....Do you know how many people I want to tell how I REALLY feel, but if I did they would go off? Even if they constantly say, “It’s important to always say how you feel to your friend.” For example, a friend of mine is in a relationship that I feel in my SOUL is chaotic, unbalanced, unhealthy and destructive. Whenever that person comes around he or she… drains every bit of my lasting spirit as I nearly taste blood, biting my tongue to not say how I feel.
You can’t tell your friends everything! Most people cannot take everything even if you say it in a nice way (you know --it’s not what you say it’s how you say it). When it comes to any of my relationships I can handle my friends telling me how they feel. I’m the type that needs some "insight". Most people are not like this and it saddens me to see people I care about being abused because they don’t want to be alone.
Dont get me wrong, I think most people would agree I am a loyal person. A friendship for me is about a sort of trade off… if I know you when you’re down and out, and you don’t know my name when I’m down and out, then there will be little giving. One might say, “Well that isn’t a true friend.” Not necessarily – I have friends that I love deeply, but I know they cannot have a conversation unless it revolves around them. I have friends that I care for to the bottom of my soul, but they only contact me when they need something. I have respected this is who they are and there is SOMETHING else about them that compensates. For me a friend is about having BOUNDARIES that need to be respected. Sometimes being a true friend is knowing when to shut the f**k up! Knowing when not to run into that building! Knowing when to say NO!