Is it too much to ask to want to be successful, is it too much to ask to want to be independent, too much to want to live comfortably? I’m asking these questions because I feel like my independence poses a problem to the opposite sex. I mean at first, the guys I talk to seem to want that sort of girl but the more I talk to them the more they seem completely different to what I want in a guy. I mean at first its all gravy and then later on they’re talking about ‘the wife being in the kitchen’. OK. What’s wrong with you being in the kitchen? Don’t get me wrong, I will be a dutiful wife and I will look after my husband and our home but there is a limit to all of that. I mean what’s the point of me devoting my life to someone who won’t respect me enough to realise that not everything can be done solely by me. I think back to a conversation I had with one of my friends and he said that he will never step foot in the kitchen, like NEVER. I couldn’t understand how he could make a statement like that so I asked him to elaborate,
‘Basically, I don’t like cooking, don’t like being in the kitchen. I feel imprisoned anytime I go in there, so basically that would be my wife’s territory. Whatever I want, she makes.’
I’ve been told that I am quite shallow concerning some aspects of life but excuse me, what rubbish is that? So even if I was sick, this guy wouldn’t enter the kitchen. That is so wrong. And just hearing him talk about what his wife should do and what she should be about, well, frankly, it upset me. Something in me boiled up. I can’t do it. I can’t do that. I’ll love my husband unconditionally but I don’t know whether I could love a guy with such a character. It would be really hard, I do admit that. And then I was thinking about the flipside.
As much as that guy was chattin so much rubbish, have I ever been guilty of that. Umm... i think I have, not intentionally though. I mean you readers probably know me a bit by now... I seem shallow, not quite though, just a little. There have been a few things I have said in the past that could make a guy perceive ladies to be 'gold-diggers, shallow, egotistical, harsh.' But I mean come on what's the point in me being with a guy that I feel is doing worse than me in life. Not that I'm judging his way of life or anything... but reflecting to what I said before... I'm going to be a dutiful and submissive wife, but how can I do that if i don't even respect the guy. It's like if I'm the CEO of a business firm and my husband's the cleaner. It just doesn't work does it. And yes I know people say LOVE overcomes all of that but that sort of situation could present a lot of problems, don't you think??
Things like this are so confusing that's why I've decided to hang up my shoes of reasoning... I just can't be bothered any more. Next post ... I'm gonna be strait up... apologies in advance.
- Gabrielle
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5 comments:
you are just trying to prove a point that really has no basis. About if you are a CEO and ur man is the cleaner... that's what love is all about... love has no boundaries and true love doesnt take... it gives... so forget what you man is willing to put on the table... rather, think about what you can bring to the table... how can you care for him and make his life better... it's also a two way thing, the man should look at what he can bring to the table... so I dont buy into your crap about the whole a man who isnt doing better than you... you've be surprised people's fortune change overnight and I can only hope you wouldnt be one of those girls who would be saying if I had known it would turn out for him that way....
my second point is the cooking thing... from where I come from that's a woman's sole responsibility just as it is the man's sole responsibility to go out there and make a living for the family. It's just like a man saying I wont be having a woman tell me my place is to go to work every morning??? am i making sense? how would you feel as a woman (a mother) if you come home to find your children starving, the home is unkempt while your husband is on his way from work?
Women need to fix up and realise this whole "my place isnt in the kitchen" is all a hype...! I know it's a world of equality and you didnt go to uni to end up being a housewife... am not saying that... but taking care of your family and kids is one of a woman's sole duty and if that involves being in the kitchen... then so be it... and if a man's sole duty is to provide money for his family and if that involves working 7 days a week, then so be it!!!
at the end of the day when there's no money in the home, no one is going to look at the woman and say... where's the money for food? and when there's no food in the house and the man has clearly provided money for food... I dont think he should be the one to be asked... where is the food on the table?
Gabrielle... fix up and grow up... life is not all about McDonalds and KFC, neither is it about Chinese food... it's about give and take...!
"Women need to fix up"....now dat is da most ignorant bull i ave heard all day!!....How can u generalise all women like dat!...wen u started talkin i thought u was gonna say somting worth reading, but nah u had ruin what was clearly a justifiable argument wid a nonsenical comment like dat!!
If anyone needs to fix up its u...Learn dat one womans account on this topic doesnt represent us all!......
Lookin bck on my comment i seem a lil' harsh in wat i ave said but i stil stand by it..if a I or any of da other AfroDiva had written a post generalising on da opposite sex, im sure once again U would ave somting to say...dnt get me wrong we r all entitled to our opinions but...
if u wanna pick holes in a persons statement make sure u have a tight argument...but it all good...da whole point of this blog is create intresting debates...Peace
- SistaLova
My posts really seem to stir some of you up don't they. Lol. I hear the 1st comment... I agree with some points made but do take note that some of the things I mentioned in that post reflects the way SOME women feel... I did say SOME. I guess LOVE is seen differently by many and its always going to be an issue of conflicting morals.
LOVE to me is a strong and beautiful bond but I can't help but feel that sometimes it's used as an excuse for some things. The example of the woman being the CEO of a business firm and her man being the cleaner, well, at first I feel that in that situation, the man's occupation won't be a problem and the love between the couple will overlook that issue. But as time goes on I think it would become the root of most arguments... but hey that's just what I think. And everyone is entitled to their own opinion. So keep reading. xx
- Gabrielle
dat chic made a good point bout da issue bout love but started 2 lost da plot afterwards.
Love is unique its undescrible, its beyound words, its a everlasting feelin and so on and its so many fings 2 different people, Love cant really be defined.
Gabrielle's example of da woman bein a CEO and her man being a cleaner is jokes but at da time is real in some many sectors of dis world. MOST chics dnt wanna hear dat a man is a cleaner, dey usually want a fireman or one of dem 'erotic' occupations (lol) basically in today's world dem relationships wont work as Gabrielle noted alot of arguments may arise coz of da status of da man.
Love aint really instant if u get wat i mean, its a gradual process. neways...
thanx 2 d person who sent in the last comment... i totally agree... and in as much as i agree its always good 2 hear 4m others who feel differently... so dnt hesitate 2 post up your feelings on the whole thing.
- Gabrielle
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